hadriel_logs | Event Log: Fourth Wall, Part One

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Event Log: Fourth Wall, Part One

Who: Everyone in the city + Fourth Wall visitors!
What: Part one of the fourth wall event, hosted by Fear, Confusion, and Delight!
Where: All around the city
When: October 24th-November 1st
Warnings: Visitors from other worlds!

If you're not from around here, you may be wondering what's going on. You've woken up out of the blue in the colosseum, or near a temple, or in one of the numerous other locations in the city. You're somewhere underground and it's dark, cold, and maybe a little unnerving.

Luckily, shortly after your arrival, the road below your feet begins to light up in a gentle, warm glow. The light points you in a set direction and, if you choose to travel that way, will lead you toward the center of the city, where there is a large gathering of others who are lost here like you, people who might know their way around a bit more, and even some of the gods who rule this place.

There are lights strung up on poles throughout the large clearing, casting a comforting glow onto the tables beneath them. The tables are abundant with lots of food that looks simply delicious- though, none of it tastes quite like it should. The tarts taste like green beans, the mashed potatoes like cheesecake, and the chocolate seems oddly reminiscent of steak. In addition, there are decorations artfully placed around the meeting point. If you see them moving, don't worry- that's probably just your imagination.

Also distributed along the tables are shot glasses, filled with a sludgy, yellow substance. If you're brave enough to consume them, they taste strongly of mint and will give you a much needed energy boost, circumventing the need to eat or sleep for a full 24 hours! After that, however, everything hits you all at once, so use them wisely. Some of you may remember these shots from our How Delightful event earlier this year!

In addition to all of the above, there are also party poppers strewn around the area. Each popper can jet out some strange objects- glitter bombs, seashells, plastic dinosaurs, maybe a live lizard or two- so be careful! Feel free to use your discretion on these, but remember to keep it small!
_

Of course, you can always not travel that way. The rest of the city has plenty of places to explore- maybe you'd like to stumble in our Silent Hill zone, have a quick look around the alien orchard, or check out any of the god temples that can inspire their chosen emotion. Be careful not to get lost in the tunnels leading away from the cave- none of them can actually move you above ground, but you may run into a few monsters on the way.

For those of you who have been with us awhile, please bear with the gods while they try to adjust around these new folks! Join in on the festivities if you like, or try to orient as many of the others as you can. Start a community outreach program, start a fight club, introduce your parents to your weird cave girlfriend- nobody's judging!

Well. Some of us might be.
_

Enjoy the fourth wall event at Hadriel! Once you're settled in feel free to explore the rest of the city! Find a house, find a new monster, or simply scavenge for supplies.

Fourth wall characters do not enter with phones so they cannot reach the network- however, if you'd like to handwave that they somehow got ahold of Mello's Newcomer guide to avoid the 'where am I/what is this' sort of questions, then feel free!

Good luck, and enjoy your stay in Hadriel!

► This log covers October 24th-November 1st.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well! Fourth wall characters will not have posting access, so grab an in-game friend if you wanted to do anything separate from the main log.
► Fourth wall characters will be in the city for at least one week, though they can stay for longer. The party will go on throughout the entire week, thanks to Delight's boundless energy!
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The shock when they saw Toriel living alone and the despair in Asgore's voice as he wished for his wife and son back. Yeah...it was broken as if someone had toppled a vase from a shelf. Can't glue that back together.

But Chara doesn't flinch and meets their own eyes, despite the differences. If they were going to admit all of this they refused to cower.]

I was and I still am. Because I am Chara. That's all.

[Chara starts to laugh, again.]

Boy. Guess we really proved ourselves right, huh? Humans really are just inconceivably rotten. You feel proud of yourself? You feel good and strong for what you did?

[If it sounds as if they're judging you, it's because they are.

Someone has to.]

Edited 2016-10-25 03:34 (UTC)

[Someone has. And it sure is something when you hear it from yourself too. But Chara knows they deserve it so they stand there and take it. Breathe, until the other Chara is done. They let silence pass to make sure.]

I suppose I should not. But I cannot feel much of anything.

[This was Chara, so perhaps they can CHECK and see the LV 20 beside their name and condemn them further. Chara wouldn't be surprised.]

[God, and they can see it. Can't feel much of anything. Yeah, so death wasn't in the cards, evidently. Too good for vengeful, vindictive Chara. Had to make everyone suffer!

Their smile freezes rigidly.]

So death was too good for us. Is that is?

['If they were going to go, then everyone else has to follow.' Everybody has to suffer on the way down to hell.

Yeah, that's fine. * You equip the Real Knife.

Not to attack. Just...so it's there. Chara taps the blade that always sharp. Always there and always caked in dust.]

It seems not. For now, anyway. I do not plan on staying longer than I have to.

[And there's that thrill of magic, imbuing the blade with the qualities unique to it only when they wield it. Or, whatever. It might be different for them.

They are the judge and jury and executioner, after all. And they will judge you accordingly, human. Should it be required of them.]

But you plan on leaving your mark, do you not?

[LV 20 is such a high number. One might imagine you've been working for it, mirror.]

[20, 16, 18, 40. 1.

* 2 left.

Oh yes, they worked very hard for it. And now. Chara needed no executioner from Sans. But that does not mean they won't take it from themselves. Still, for the moment Chara stays their hand.]

ERASE. That is what you are asking.

[They don't bother with making it a question. A huge, messy, awful blot where a world that had given them nothing but kindness used to be. That was the only kind of mark that someone like Chara could leave, right?

[A wry, hateful smirk curls cruelly over their expression. Their face was always molded so perfectly for such things. It was unfair, really. Unfair, how well those rosy cheeks and soft features lent themselves to a smile.

They turned it to their advantage. They had to.]

Well, well. Someone's been awfully busy.

[Do we really need to do this, mirror?]

Are you proud, mirror, to have proved your own insights correct regarding the machinations of humanity? Or are you simply bent on becoming the thing you swore to hate?

[It was so easy to smile after awhile. Smile and say nice things because people thought you were weird otherwise. And then they turn around and say you were a freak because what kind of smile was that? A creepy smile. So they never stopped. In Chara's case it was a roundabout way of spite. But let's not reminisce over that.

They have to hear this.]

There is nothing to prove as I was always this to begin with. Human. A terrible, awful thing. I could not help them to begin with. And so I became that Demon.

[Call their name. That's all it took. It's not an excuse and Chara isn't using it as one. It's the truth. Someone as filthy as them could have never hoped to help Monsters in the end.

* Guess you can't SAVE a single SOUL, can you?]

You cannot change what you are. Neither of us could.

[An admission that pains them still. They know what it is, to loathe everything you are. To look at yourself, at the fact that you are a blight, a disgusting smear across the Underground, lesser than monsters, less than even humans, and know that no amount of wishing can change that.]

But there was no reason to make yourself even worse - to prove some point.

[The words are thick with their judgment. Their disgust. They look into the mirror and see exactly what they expect to.]

In claiming that humans can only be cruel and evil, you give yourself an excuse to be precisely that. In saying that they may only be terrible and awful things, you seek to turn those words upon yourself. Prove yourself correct.

By saying you could not help yourself, you condemned yourself to your own judgment, and allowed no room to witness what might have truly been.

[* It's us, they want to say but can't bring themselves to say it. This Chara took a better path, it seemed. One that saw Asriel alive. That alone put them above anything Chara did. The child resists the urge to scratch at their arms even though they had the Knife.

But they take the judgement again and keep their eyes on the other them. That much Chara will offer because they won't do anything else. They won't contest the words nor any actions that may be taken to bring a new wave of sin down on their head.]

That first attempt should have stuck.

[They don't have to say anything more.]

I have seen no happy ending. I do not deserve one.

[* You unequipped the Real Knife.

Continue.]

[And the knife goes away again. Why? And here they were expecting them to be hankering for a FIGHT. Perhaps they still are, in a sense. Possibly not in quite such a literal fashion.]

That isn't up to you, [they say, stitching the words out from sharp-snapped consonants and a cold, smiling glare,] is it?

There's a reason our attempts [and they draw out the word with all the weight it deserves] - failed.

[More like the beginning. More like the Dummy. Because they learned with judgments that FIGHTING got them nowhere. A little stronger, but nowhere else.]

It isn't, I suppose.

[That doesn't mean they wished it was. If that candle was snuffed out then none of this would have happened. Perhaps the Monsters may have never escaped. But they might have found HOPE and never had it torn away from them.]

Do we all...in every world, do we fail and meet Asriel?

[Was that set in stone?]

[Their smile grows thin. It almost falls away, but they don't allow themself that luxury. Still, they - they have to look away. Drop their gaze and watch the ground with lidded brown eyes.]

It seems so.

You know he wouldn't have it any other way.

[And their smile, immediately, softens, the tension in their frame draining by increments.]

He still insists we're the best thing to ever happen to him. And he was to us.

[Some bitter, awful part of them wants to ask if it's also forever that Chara ruins Asriel and eventually leads to his death. But they don't.]

Our Best Friend.

[Chara reaches up, fiddles with the golden Locket around their neck. Sometimes it was Hope, sometimes it felt like a noose. Either way it beat against their chest and was one of the pair with Best Friends written on the back. On the inside...was their secret.]

Perhaps...it still would have been for the best if mine had never met me.

[Chara smiles, though it is not as bladed and sharpened to a vicious point as before. It's gentler. Even.]

Let me tell you something. You can tell me if it sounds familiar.

[A knife slips easily and cleanly from their jacket sleeve. It's nothing special, not ringed with red and white crescents, trailing red motes like wisps of its own energy, crested with flakes of dust. It's just an ordinary one. They don't, can't, won't ever go anywhere unarmed.

They look at it as they hold it loosely in their hand, not as a weapon, but simply as a non-threatening object.]

At some point, we make a decision. We are more useful to monsterkind dead than we are alive. Alive, we are simply a burden. Dead, our SOUL can at least be of use to them, in the long run. The barrier can be brought down.

And Asriel - has no idea, does he? He doesn't know how close we've come to the edge. How often we've almost done it.

[Their hand drops, the knife disappears back into their sleeve, and they look at their double, steadily.]

It seems only one of us had the strength to carry that out, and only one of us had the strength not to.

[For the first time in this conversation, Chara's eyes divert from their double and stare at the knife in their...ah, yes. The Real Knife was their weapon now, but that didn't mean that Chara was unfamiliar with a blade. Avoid answering questions about the ones missing from the kitchen drawer, stored in a hidden place. Don't go outside without something to defend yourself. Never. They can never be unarmed because it felt that much safer. Even with Frisk, Chara had the Real Knife.

Chara fiddles with their sleeves before meeting their eyes again.]

It never went away. Even with all of their kindness, it'll never go away.

[They don't have to elaborate what the 'it' is, do they?]

Six SOULs. With mine, it would be seven. That would have been enough to break the Barrier. It...I should have not done it.

[And that's the biggest sin of all because of all that it had done. Maybe, if that photograph that Sans now possessed came to be, there may be something. But Asriel is still doomed to what Chara had left them. The child would have been fine with remaining as the voice in the back of a child's head and there they couldn't hurt anyone. But Asriel would remain a SOUL-less flower for the rest of his life.

* And it's all your fault!]

It is not strength. LV 20 is not strength.

[Carving a dusty trail through the Underground was easy. Sure, there was the Undying. Sure, there was Sans. Otherwise? Nothing gave them trouble. Sometimes they'd attack the air for the heck of it while calling for help.

Chara draws their arms around themselves. They don't want to shake but they do.]

It was anger. I was angry at what had been done to Monsters. I wished to free them. And look at what I did.

[No, they don't need to elaborate at all. They know full well what it feels like to have that weight shackled to you, to be afraid, so afraid, and uncertain, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the Dreemurrs' seemingly unending kindness to switch on a dime, for them to realize just what they had brought into their house. Their kindness, their love - it had hurt more than they could bear. Why, god why, would they ever care for a filthy little human, a scummy, terrible demon, even lesser than human?

It does, indeed, sound familiar. And perhaps LOVE gives you power - or the illusion of it. An illusion is yet enough for a child who is used to having such things stripped away.]

We always did have an instinct for justice, did we not?

[The urge to claw their way out of the Underground, but not for any sense of wanting to return to humanity, no. It was instead the desire to show them, to prove to them, just what they had thrown away when they'd sealed monsters Underground. To make them pay for what they did. Give them the retribution they deserved.

It was not enough. Maybe it never will be.]

As much as justice, as judgment might befit someone like us - we aren't always correct, are we? Perhaps our kind is cruel, and terrible.

[They flex their hands as they slide them back into their pockets.]

But we met one that proved otherwise, didn't we?

[Chara had assumed it was an act of some sort. Adults pretending to care for them because that's what they did when you had a broken leg and look, other adults, we care for our child! Now get out once it heals. Get out before we learn what a dirty thing you are.

But it never happened. Just hot chocolate and warm food and hands to catch you when you fell because you were bedridden for a long time and were stiff when you got out of bed. Respectful distance when the Dreemurrs' realized that touches made them jump and quiet when a dropped plate nearly made them scream. They were the family in those story books, the Real Ones princes and princesses found at the end of the fairy tales that cared for them.

* And look how well that ended.

But LV 20 gave Chara a sense of control. Stronger. They couldn't be hurt. But they couldn't love. And it, in the end and honest to god, was not worth it at all.]

Frisk.

[They say their partner's name and feel a little better. The other Chara was right in that regard.]

The exception to the rule. What are they like in your time?

[The human. They've at least come to learn that is their name, and feel less guilty about never asking it. Or not daring to. It was easier to regard them as the threat they were before they came to know them in any capacity. They were quiet, in any case. Quiet, and non-talkative, and that had suited Chara just fine.

They smile, regarding the middle distance.]

They are pleasant enough. They haven't killed anyone. Have been nothing but unfailingly polite and kind. At least thus far.

And in yours?

[They cannot imagine they view the human with anything but fondness, with the way their air had relaxed, if marginally, as they'd uttered it aloud. Such things would be imperceptible to all but someone who's grown adapt at reading those slight shifts and tics. You can't play a player, after all.]

[No, definitely not in this case. Chara can't play Chara. They went into this judgment knowing there wouldn't be any way to hide.]

They are much of the same. The Frisk here comes from near the beginning, I believe, so not much has been decided. But we are partners.

[It's not a shift of blame but if Chara was going to be absolutely honest here, then they had to say that they walked the path hand in hand.]

I suppose some things never change.

["Mirror." "Partner." Silly nicknames dispensed upon a human who may emerge an ally or worse, who may prove what they'd believed about humans from the very beginning. Even now, still, a part of them, the part of them that they hate, waits for them to dissemble, waits for the other shoe to drop, waits for them to show their true colors.]

If they end up being the one good thing we do...perhaps that will be enough.

[That may have been the case when the path of genocide was chosen. The shoe dropped and for a moment Chara thought "Finally." Then they felt nothing at all.

But they knew Frisk's nature. They were kind and gentle. They were capable of genocide. But there was always that chance of going back to crinkling leaves and love.

Always a chance.]

Perhaps so. Maybe I will be able to rest when it's done.

["Rest." There's very little doubt in their mind what they truly mean by that. A kind euphemism, defanged and harmless. There is little point for a thing like them.

* 1 left.

Before they sleep.]

Has it occurred to you that there may be things worth staying awake for?

It is difficult to think of. After what I did, death was the least I deserve.

[It would have been worse if Asriel's death had, in some sick joke, brought Chara back to life. The last person in the world who deserved it.]

...but I do have to try, don't I? Beings like us don't QUIT. We can't.

[As much as they wanted to. As much as Chara called its name, they couldn't QUIT.]

Event Log: Fourth Wall, Part One

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cw suicide allusions

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