hadriel_logs | Now, the world can be an unfair place at times.

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Now, the world can be an unfair place at times.

Who: Glacius (

glacius) and Carlisle (

tongueamok)
What: Glacius goes to check on Carlisle after all of the 4th Wall weirdness has passed. He has no idea how much has happened, or how much the clergyman put himself through for him.
Where: Carlise's store-top garden, near the housing district.
When: November 8th.
Warnings: Harsh language, likely also talk of injuries and emotional trauma.

It hadn't taken Glacius very long to realize that this month was going to be a very odd one indeed. He was still learning exactly how long human months last, and in the mean time he'd been doing his best to track the patterns of the Door--not only in his attempts to figure out how it worked so that he could one day use it to his own ends, but also because its intermittent surges always meant that there was about to be a batch of newcomers in some real trouble. Despite his obvious distaste for the ruined arena, he wasn't in the business of leaving people to suffer... so around the time he predicted that the inter-dimensional portal should be opening, he headed towards the outskirts of the city where that foreboding structure sat.

Almsot as soon as he arrive, the Door surged--but this was a greater power fluctuation, and in its wake the ice alien was stunned to see that the crowd of beings that had been freshly deposited into Hadriel was much, much larger than usual. It didn't take him long to realize that some of the gods were doing what they could to accommodate the visitors... but he had never trusted them. He was also going to do his best to see to the people that had arrived, even if being near so many people all at once was exhausting. There were numerous times were he had to duck away to rest and regather his thoughts, but all in all the alien spent most of his time patrolling the city, relaying what information he could to those that seemed lost and occasionally stepping in to defend them when they wandered too close to the caves or the other dangerous parts of the city.

Unfortunately he'd been so busy that he didn't realize someone else was busy defending him. It had partly been luck that he hadn't bumped into his malicious, resentful clone... but it was also thanks to a certain clergyman's very adamant intervention that Algidus hadn't immediately set out to look for him upon learning of his original's presence in the city.

In the end, the ice alien had no idea of the catastrophe and heartbreak that he'd managed to avoid. The gods managed to correct their mistake and sent nearly all of the unintended newcomers back through the Door, likely back to their own worlds. Things were more or less back to normal in the city--or at least, as normal as they ever got when you had strange beings manipulating you and your environment for your emotions--and Glacius was thankful for the peace and quiet that followed. He knew it wouldn't last forever, but he was going to take this time to check up on his friends, given that he'd been so busy during the past week that he hadn't managed to see any of them. Feeling remorseful for his lapse, he set out on a thorough patrol, doing what he could to make sure everything in the city was still in order while keeping an eye out for anyone he knew.

By the time the ice alien's slow and steady walk brought him towards the main cluster of houses that sat in the center of the city, it was a bit later in the evening. He came to a halt at a fork in the road and rubbed wearily at the back of his neck as he considered where to go next. The odd, pod-shaped homes were not far from here, and he knew he would likely find Emily there... but there was something familiar about the lonesome shop that sat right before him, too. Craning his neck back and lifting his eyes to the roof, his keen vision managed to pick out a number of leaves and vines, and that was when he remembered. Those were the very plants he'd helped Carlisle check in on when darkness had flooded the caves. It had been some time since they'd last been in contact... perhaps he could find him there?

It wouldn't hurt to check, in the very least. Moving inside and scaling the stairs, Glacius finally emerged on the rooftop, his glowing green eyes standing out brightly in the waning light. Having no idea what the clergyman had been through in the days prior (or what he feared from the days ahead) meant that he also had no idea how he might react to the sudden appearance of a massive, spiky ice alien... but at least he had the sense to call out, and his voice had a sort of calmness and clarity to it that was rarely heard in that of his maladjusted clone.

"Carlise... are you up here? I do hope that it is alright of me to stop by like this. It has been some time since we last met, and I wanted to... apologize for that, and make sure that you are doing alright."

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Carlisle is indeed in his garden, but he's neither doing all right, nor is he expecting company. While the injuries he received during the last week have healed, there are some wounds that are far harder to mend, even with time, magic... and the occasional drink. That last one has been his preferred treatment for the past several days, and the evidence is all over his private sanctuary.

But despite some mild intoxication, he's there and gardening, tiredly pruning away at one of his paw plant saplings, irritably picking off any leaves that have clawed their way into his sleeves and onto the bandage on his arm. It's because he's grumbling to himself that he doesn't hear Algidus' approach.

No, not Algidus— Glacius, as he finds when he turns at the voice addressing him. They do sound so much alike, at times.

A flash of guilt crosses him, only to be immediately subdued by private anger. His fingers tighten on his pruning shears as he cocks his head to the side, a motion that Glacius is welcome to enter his garden. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he utters. "Why would you, of all people, be sorry? What have you done that would even require an apology?"

His bitterness is evident in his tone, and though he knows he should curb it, he's not sure he has it in his capacity at the moment. Not when he's had more than a few drinks on top of the few drinks he had earlier.

Glacius begins stepping into the garden, but when he hears the clipped tone of the clergyman's voice he stops carefully picking his way through all of the various plants--it wouldn't do to upset on of their pots!--and snaps his head up. An unsure look crosses over his features briefly. "I, ah. Well. I just know that this cave is... hard to suffer, sometimes. Lots of things can happen. So I was worried that it was not very becoming of me to... go so long without seeing how you were doing."

That's how being friends with humans work, right?? None of the others seemed to mind it when he stopped by to check in on them--in fact they seemed to appreciate it--but Carlisle's bitter tone makes him think that the man is perhaps angry with his how long it's been despite his words saying otherwise. Humans have a different conception of time than his people do, he tries to rationalize. A handful of days might seem very long indeed to them.

Edited 2016-11-10 21:28 (UTC)

He might be a bit drunk, but Carlisle still recognizes his misstep, albeit too late. He shakes his head as Glacius starts in, sounding apologetic. He has nothing to apologize for. It's Carlisle who does.

But that brings about the question of if he should. Does Glacius know another of his kind was in the city? Did they cross paths at some point? Is he here to do what Algidus didn't, to end him for using his influence against another person?

He sighs, trying to stifle that paranoia. "I... you have my apologies, Glacius. The past week or so have been trying times."

"Oh..?" Glacius tilts his head to one side again, feeling a slight pang of guilt that the clergyman had actually been struggling lately and he had no idea. This isn't the first time such a thing has happened, either; if he finds out that Carlisle has suffered a fate similar to Kate's while he was off shepherding newcomers he's going to kick himself. And even if it was not something so grievous, this lapse is unacceptable. He must redouble his efforts.

"I am sorry to hear that, my friend." That explains all the bottles that he's seeing and the scent of alcohol that his attuned senses are detecting as he moves slowly through the garden, one step at a time. "And I am sorry I was not there to help you through them. But I am, now... so if there's anything you need, or anything I can do..."

"There's nothing you could have done," he interrupts, shaking his head as his eyes lodge themselves on one of the vines near him. Better there than Glacius' glowing green ones, eyes that remind him so much of someone else, someone he indirectly betrayed. A friend -- former friend by now, surely. "It's better you didn't do anything. That nothing happened, or has happened, or... or might happen."

He loses what he was trying to say somewhere along the way, concern for the unknown, yet inevitable, growing in him; however, nothing in Glacius' words or mannerisms say that he even crossed paths with the other ice alien, or if he did, perhaps they didn't come to blows after all. It's better he doesn't know, Carlisle tells himself, but guilt weighs heavily in his gut. Between that and his head fuzzier than it ought to be, he finds his tolerance for his own sins to be lowered.

"That's what I was told the first time one of my friends suffered while I was off doing seeing to other affairs," Glacius grumbles, feeling Carlisle's dismissal beginning to rub at old, ugly scabs. "I don't know if you are aware of this, but this cave has left me with very little. I'm cut off from my mission. Separated from my people, my homeworld-- my culture and my sense of belonging. All that I have left to me in this place are the friends that I have made. So please explain to me how it is better that you have been forced to endure hardship, when I might have been able to prevent that?"

He's trying to keep his voice calm and measured, but it's taking more effort than usual. Hearing these things again with Kate's fairly recent death and the words that followed still lingering in his mind was surprisingly painful. It was better that you weren't there. There was nothing you could have done. It's better this way. Does his presence mean so very little? Would his attempts truly no impact on these outcomes? What good is he if he cannot even help his friends? A part of him knows deep down that Kate was just looking out for his safety and Carlisle is likely doing the same, but it's still hard to accept these words at face value. He never was very good at just sitting back while people suffered.

Glacius is far more understanding and measured than Algidus; the sharp contrast between them only highlights Carlisle's inner frustration. The two would have likely fought even if he hadn't run into Harris, and Glacius would have no idea why. That's under the assumption that he wasn't lying when he said he didn't know Algidus, but Carlisle knows enough about the two icy giants to realize that guile is not their strongest suit. It's dishonorable, cowardly.

Much like him.

"You prevented it by not- by not being there at all," he starts in, unable to contain the torrent of words as they spill from him. "If you'd been there, he'd have gone off on you for reasons I am trying to understand. And what kind of friend am I, to keep him from the one thing he wanted? The one thing that would give him solace in this world? Would it have been enough? Was I right to tell him otherwise?"

Carlisle gives Glacius a pleading look, despite the fact that he hasn't exactly explained who or what he's even rambling about.

The ice alien's brows furrow in confusion, unable to quite make sense of Carlisle is desperately asking him. He seems to be searching for some sort of... solace, or pardon, or reassurance that he'd done right... but for what, the alien isn't sure. He raises both hands now, palms forward, attempting to calm the troubled human.

"Slow down, Carlisle," Glacius says, his voice a little bit gentler now. "Breathe. I cannot help you if I do not know... what happened to you, or what you are so worried about. Perhaps you should start from the beginning."

Though Glacius is trying to reassure Carlisle, encouraging him to breathe in order to bolster his nerves, he doesn't move from his spot, his expression laced with as much uncertainty as the rest of him. In his brooding, the clergyman had thought until he'd thought a hole in the ground over what he could possibly tell his alien friend. He couldn't tell Glacius the truth. It seemed most of the newcomers from the last couple of weeks had vanished, and perhaps Algidus with them. He could tell him nothin. Glacius didn't have to know.

But what if Algidus hadn't vanished? What if the green alien was lurking somewhere, or hunting Glacius at that very moment? Amid the what-ifs and his inner guilt and Glacius' painful kindness in spite of it all, the dam breaks.

"Algidus was here," he blurts.

Edited 2016-11-11 15:49 (UTC)

That sure gets the ice alien's attention. He rears back, head raised fully on his long, curving neck as his mandibles flare widely. One of his people was here--and he didn't know about it? He was off aiding dumbfounded humans when he could have been communing with one of his own kind, finally easing some of that sense of separation that plagued him? And Carlisle knew all this but didn't tell him? He knew he could be hard to track down, but they had their personal communication devices, and moreover the clergyman knew some of the places that he could be found more frequently. Something extremely important to him has been kept secret, and for a moment the surprise on Glacius' face does shift into anger...

... Only for a moment, though, and then it is replaced by hurt confusion. This still isn't making a lot of sense. The clergyman said that he had been friends with the other ice alien, and yet their reunion--and try as he might he can't help the pang of jealousy that he feels as the word enters his mind--does not seem like it had been a happy one. If it was, Carlisle wouldn't be as plagued by bitterness and anger as he now seems to be. He wouldn't be trying to drink himself into a stupor.

"... And..?" Glacius prods, trying to remain gentle despite his insistence. He won't leap to conclusions. He owes it to his friend to hear him out.

Carlisle sees the injury on Glacius' face, knows enough about its structure to recognize hurt, and in that moment, wishes he were too drunk to see straight. Maybe if he'd had another bottle or two. However, that'd just be another way to run from his fears. He said he'd try to face them.

Of course, he'd also said he'd introduce the two aliens to one another if ever given the chance, and look how that turned out. "He- he told me more about what happened to him. Why he looks the way he does. His spikes are so different from yours that I believed, perhaps, he'd been trapped somewhere away from your homeworld before I met him. And- and I was right."

He reaches into the bag on his belt and fetches his flask. He does need another drink for this after all.

Edited 2016-11-11 19:56 (UTC)

Glacius notes Carlisle reaching for what he can only assume is another container for alcohol, and briefly considers stopping him. He doesn't want to come off as bossy or controlling, however... and the man before him, while clearly inebriated, doesn't seem to be too far gone yet. If he notices him slurring his speech or having a hard time staying alert, then he's certainly cutting him off, but for now he'll refrain.

So he focuses on what he's being told instead. So far nothing that is alarming enough to potentially be cause for the clergyman's current state has come up... unless he is so invested in the wellbeing of the two aliens that he's feeling this much sorrow for their prolonged separation from their people. Somehow Glacius doubts that's all it is. "It must have been hard on him--we do not like to be forcibly kept apart from our own people for too long, as I'm sure you have now gathered. Was there a reason he did not return..? You said he was trapped. I'm assuming it was against his will, then."

"That's right," Carlisle utters before taking a swig from his flask. He shudders as it runs down his throat -- Dwarven ale never fails to stoke the fires in him (which is very much the point of its particular taste, as any Dwarf would claim). "And I wanted to introduce you, b- but there were reasons I couldn't."

And he's not sure just which reason to start with. Does he tell Glacius about his conflict with Harris, Algidus' most prized companion? About what he did to her? About how he was afraid that Glacius would either come to his defense out of his sense of honor, or turn on him and side with Algidus as a member of his own kind?

Better start with the one that's relatively easiest to explain. The others are so riddled with his own paranoia that he's not sure how true they even had the potential to be. "He knew who you were. Was adamant that you betrayed him somehow."

Glacius blinks as Carlisle lays out the first reason for his trepidation, his expression shifting into one that is equal parts surprise and dismay. "--What? I would never... betray one of my own people! I have lived my life in loyal service to them. I... why would he think that?"

"I don't know!" Carlisle cries, his exasperation rising. "There was something about his mission, and a human, and you turning everyone against him, and he was very insistent upon finding you and killing you, and he wanted me to help, and I- I..."

His hands shake, the lid of his flask rattling. "I'm his friend, but I am also yours, and I couldn't do it. I could let the two of you come to blows. I couldn't let it be my fault that it happened."

"Killing me?" Glacius squawks, his mandibles flaring again as he actually staggers backwards. Now more than ever, Carlisle will be able to see just how justified he was in keeping them apart; merely hearing of this intent is enough to have the ice alien turning away and hunching down despondently. It's safe to say that if he and Algidus had actually been forced to tear into one another, it would have likely kicked him right into a pit of depression.

And the Clergyman might notice something else, too: the way he hunches down, ducks his head, and wraps his arms around his legs is the exact same posturing that Algidus had pulled himself into when he'd been struck by a heavy revelation.

"I don't understand.." Glacius whines. "None of this makes any sense. I have never interfered with the missions of any other marshals, and I don't know what human he's talking about... maybe one of the friends I have made in this cave, but why would he... care about that?" Old grudges, maybe? Many of his people detested humans for their brutal ways, but it had been a long time since there had been any contact, outside of his personal missions. It doesn't make sense that the hatred would be that strong. He'll appreciate Carlisle not selling him out later, but right now he's too taken aback by the horrible thought of one of his own people wanting to kill him to process much of anything.

Carlisle does recognize the position Glacius takes -- despite the alcohol clouding his judgment, the memory of his reunion with Algidus is still far too clear in his mind. He approaches Glacius the same way he'd approached his green counterpart, though his hand strays to the front of his tabard, feeling a few visible stitches along the neck. He'd had to repair the threads that popped from Algidus' grasp; it was a far easier task than mollifying despair.

"There- there are people here I met before," he starts. "In the place I met Algidus, the jungle and that damned vessel. They no longer remember me, and the only answer I've found is that they were brought here from another time, one where we never crossed paths. I thought that might be the case with Algidus, but he would hardly hear reason."

Glacius manages to at least lift his head as he hears Carlisle stepping up besides him, trying his best to listen despite the confusion and sorrow starting to eat away at him. Unfortunately, the clergyman's words do very little to relieve any of that; he scrubs at his forehead with his wrist and curses under his breath.

"Why does this all have to be so... complicated? All I ever wanted was to be able to be reunited with my people. Now I hear that not only did I miss the chance to do so, but that if I had he would have wanted to bring about my end! Are you..." the ice alien pauses, his hands clenching and unclenching like he's physically scrounging for answers. After a few moments something occurs to him, and he looks to Carlisle tentatively.

"...Are you sure it was actually Algidus? These gods have manipulated our minds and our environment many times before. Maybe it wasn't him, but a manifestation or a hallucination or..." The ice alien trails off, realizing that might be a hollow hope... but he so desperately wants to believe that he and the other ice alien could come together in peace. He'll try to come up with any explanation that could still leave a chance for that, even if he already knows deep down what the answer will be.

As Glacius turns his gaze to Carlisle, the clergyman finds himself gripped with fear; it is immediate, obvious as his entire frame stiffens and he nearly moves back. Despite whatever terms he and Algidus are on -- friends, enemies, somewhere between -- he took a battering from the alien on top of the one he'd received from AJ. Those wounds are still as fresh in his memory as the emotional ones.

But Glacius doesn't grab for him, doesn't throw him to the ground. He returns the explanation not with rage, but remorse, and all because of something he might not ever do -- not this Glacius, not from this time. There is not telling how their experiences here may change them, or if they'll ever return home at all. That makes it all the more disappointing that Algidus and Glacius couldn't get along. For all any of them know, that might have been the only opportunity either of them will have to reconnect with their kind.

"It was him," Carlisle replies, his tone darkening. He cannot help but be angry at the false gods for this, for giving them a moment of hope, only to tear it away. "He, too, wanted so badly to find another of his kind, yet was too blinded by his own lust for revenge to see reason. And I tried, to tell him! I tried to get him to understand that you didn't know him, and he thought I'd been turned against him, too!"

And though Algidus had stalked off in the end, wandered away to think and reconsider, Carlisle knows what tenuous trust they had in each other is damaged, likely irreparably. If it wasn't from their conversation, it would be when he spoke to AJ again. He's bitter about that, too.

Glacius seems to be just as upset as Carlisle is about this scrap of hope being utterly torn apart, though perhaps in a way that is less angry and more lost. It doesn't help that he has no idea how any of this could be possible, nor does it make even an ounce of sense. How could another of his species being here in this city go so possibly wrong? He'd always had his trepidations about one of them showing up here, but that was just because he didn't want them to suffer as he had, not because he expected one to call him a betrayer, to be angry enough with him to want him dead. The fact that Algidus yearned for another of his people yet wouldn't stand for his presence was deeply troubling for a number of reasons.

Was he... was he truly as Glacius had feared? Was Algidus an aberrant? If so, that made it all the more impressive that Carlisle was actually able to befriend him... though he's getting the distinct impression that there's more to the other ice alien that that.

Whatever was the case, it is clear that their meeting had been hard on Carlisle. Glacius suffers a sudden, deeply resounding pang of empathy with the clergyman, knowing that he would try so hard to reunite the two ice aliens-- and be so affected by the unusual difficulties inherent in that task. The pale ice alien tries his best to begin pulling himself out of his despondent hunch, searching Carlise's face as his gills flutter. "I-- I don't know what to say, Carlisle. But I promise you that everything that I told you was the truth. I have never met Algidus before, nor have I wronged him. I have no idea where his animosity is coming from, but I am... sorry that you had to take the brunt of it. I am sorry if defending me hurt whatever friendship you had with Algidus, but I... I appreciate what you did. I appreciate you not offering me up to his revenge, I just..."

Glacius flexes his hands once more, then heaves a mighty sigh that sends plumes of freezing mist billowing up into the air as his shoulders slump defeatedly once more. "... I wish I could have changed all of this. I wish it... didn't have to be this way. I want so badly to believe that he could have come to see reason..."

Carlisle's eyes dart away from Glacius' as the alien searches his face; he knows the hurt and bitterness he's feeling is painted across him.

"I believe you, Glacius," he says as he turns away, picking up one of his wine bottles from its perch in a pot. "And believe there is more at work here than a simple misunderstanding. There are other worlds and other times, lives we have lived that we do not know, and yet, of all the Algidus" —he waves his hand in a vague gesture as he tries to figure out the plural for his green friend's name— "...ses there could be out there, the one to make it here was the one I knew. Him and... him and his companion, Harris, of all people..."

He takes a swallow from the bottle in his hand. It doesn't help to dull the pain of what happened.

Glacius goes silent as he ponders Carlisle's words... and honestly, he has a lot of thoughts about them. On the one hand, it is one of the most clear-cut explanation for this "world-tearing" phenomenon that not only brought them here, but also seems to dump other beings into other worlds and other times. That is not how it works at all where he's from-- when his people fold space it doesn't create duplicates of them, so he's not sure what's going on here, and having it broken down like that helps.

On the other hand... if there are duplicates of him running around out there in the universe greater... does that mean that there is a version of him that might have actually betrayed another one of his people? That would be deserving of such ire? Glacius feels a sinking feeling in his hearts, one strong enough to cause his face to fall. He'd been hurting so badly for not having any of his people around, and yet knowing how badly this encounter could have gone somehow manages to be an equivalent agony...

... How must Carlisle be feeling, then, given that he actually had to face Algidus? So, despite all of the turmoil and self-doubt and sadness roiling around inside of him, the ice alien tries push that to the side for now in order to see to his friend, though he can't quite keep the guilt from his expression as he speaks. "Well, I... I know that you and Algidus were... friends. I am sorry that he didn't listen to you, and I utterly regret the fact that I... was the one who had such a negative impact on that friendship." It was technically his fault, wasn't it? Even if he had no knowledge of the other ice alien... if he hadn't been here in this place, if another version of him hadn't done something to Algidus in another world, then whatever the other two had would not have suffered. "Maybe I should have been there. Then he could have done whatever it was that he wanted, and our conflicts would not have wrongly fallen upon your shoulders."

"Right, and then what?" Carlisle barks, his ire getting the better of him. He doesn't yet turn to face Glacius again, doesn't see remorse wearing into his features. "One of you ends up injured, or worse? Then I'd find out about it after the fact, and think of what I could've done, not knowing I was damned no matter what I did?!"

He hurls the bottle from the roof; it goes sailing through the air, shattering as it hits the ground below.

Glacius winces as Carlisle flings the bottle; normally the alien finds such open displays of emotion unbecoming and awkward, but he can't say that he doesn't understand the clergyman's frustration. He stares at the man for a few moments longer, his expression more twisted up than Carlisle has likely ever seen from an ice alien, before he drops his head.

"You did everything you could," he finally finds it in him to speak, though his eyes remain lowered. "From the sounds of it, your intervention is the only thing that... kept us from having to come to blows. You prevented a great tragedy, Carlisle... yet you suffered another on our behalf. I am sorry, it is not fair. Sometimes it seems like things in this world rarely are." There's some of that bitter world outlook that Carlisle had seen Algidus demonstrate full-force poking its way through his original's views, now-- a brief glimpse into how it was possible that the darker ice alien got so twisted up inside. Glacius, however, has had a lot of time to process the cruelty he's had to endure in his life, and doesn't have as fresh of a trauma as Algidus does (nor the same unending existential crisis giving root to numerous other problems) to throw him back under the dark waters of bitterness and resentment. He is a much more stable creature, and thus he tries to rally himself again.

"But know that I... will never forget what you did, and I... I'll always do my best to honor that strength. This is a burden you should not have to bear, and so if I ever find Algidus, I will attempt to explain that what you did was not betrayal, but commitment to our species. You should be praised for that, not scorned."

Though he spends a moment looking for more bottles to hurl to their destruction, Carlisle does finally turn to face Glacius again, and upon doing so, sees just how torn the alien is over this. His strange anatomy can be hard to read at times, but there's no denying the doubt that rests in Glacius' brow, in the turmoil and guilt that sags his features. Carlisle is no stranger to those concepts, having felt them himself for nearly his entire life.

"I would have been scorned regardless," he admits. "Algidus did not arrive alone. With him came a woman from the jungle, Harris. The two of us are not on good terms... and with reason."

His hand strays to his tabard, rubbing at old wounds. "And the moment Algidus found out that reason, I have no doubt what he'd have done."

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