[He watches Ronan go. He wanted Ronan to go, but now, being alone with the corpse of something he murdered, the solitude of it feels like a weight. Being alone is something he should be used to, is something he was used to, but that doesn't mean it's always easy.
For a moment, some part of him is afraid that Ronan won't return. That somewhere on his way back to the house they share, he'll realize what Adam really is - a murderer, the sort of coldhearted person who can decide to kill someone preemptively, simply because he thinks it needs to be done. That he'll realize that and he won't come back, he'll just keep walking.
But Ronan would never do that. Adam knows it, he knows it in his bones. He's only afraid because he doesn't know how to reconcile this. He's not sorry, he doesn't think it was really the wrong thing to do, but he's disturbed that it was easy. That he didn't back down, that he could do it.
He sits with his back against a tree. Aspen comes to him, puts his head on Adam's lap to be petted, and that helps a little. The dog is alert even then, like he always is when Adam is alone, just in case there's any danger. Because he's good, because he's the kind of wonderful thing Ronan dreams, because Ronan is, at the very core of himself, an impossibly good person.
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For a moment, some part of him is afraid that Ronan won't return. That somewhere on his way back to the house they share, he'll realize what Adam really is - a murderer, the sort of coldhearted person who can decide to kill someone preemptively, simply because he thinks it needs to be done. That he'll realize that and he won't come back, he'll just keep walking.
But Ronan would never do that. Adam knows it, he knows it in his bones. He's only afraid because he doesn't know how to reconcile this. He's not sorry, he doesn't think it was really the wrong thing to do, but he's disturbed that it was easy. That he didn't back down, that he could do it.
He sits with his back against a tree. Aspen comes to him, puts his head on Adam's lap to be petted, and that helps a little. The dog is alert even then, like he always is when Adam is alone, just in case there's any danger. Because he's good, because he's the kind of wonderful thing Ronan dreams, because Ronan is, at the very core of himself, an impossibly good person.
He pets Aspen and waits for Ronan to return.]