hadriel_logs | Event Log: Dead Ringers

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Event Log: Dead Ringers

Who: Everyone participating in the event!
What: The event log for the Dead Ringers event!
Where: All around the city
When: January 16th-January 25th
Warnings: Evil doubles, so we can assume manipulation, violence, murder, and maybe some nasty words

Everything seems normal on the morning of the 16th - actually, everything seems normal about the city for the entirety of this event. Nothing is strange, nothing is obviously wrong. Well, except that the population has mysteriously doubled, and the new residents each look exactly like one of the old residents. So weird! Definitely not ominous at all.

At least until your new double gets down to business. After all, their only goal is to ruin your life, and that can take any form. Smashing your favorite coffee cup? Telling your worst enemy they're right? Kissing someone else in front of your girlfriend? Brutally murdering you and then hiding your body in a closet so they can more effectively destroy your life? The possibilities are truly endless, and the only way to protect yourself is to kill your double first. They're not really open to negotiation, after all - but they sure might pretend to be in order to trick you.

So watch your back, and try to make sure that really is your best friend and not an evil clone masquerading as them. Boy, that would be awkward. If you can stick it out until January 25th, good for you! But if you didn't manage to and your double survives until the end - well, just as a final 'fuck you', there's a chance you'll come back to life and remember every awful thing your double did. Hey, at least that'll make it easier to fix, right?

► This log covers January 16th-January 25th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If your evil clone happens to take you out, please let us know here, and remember that you will not revive until the event is over.

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I don't...

[It's not a good idea, but what choice do they have? They can't leave the body alone- who knows what could happen to it while they're away, and Ronan doesn't want anyone to stumble across it and think the worst. They could wrap it up somehow and take it with them, or make a detour into the river and sink it there, but that seems improper somehow, lacking in respect, and it drives a sour taste into Ronan's tongue.

Adam seems resolute, but he's distracted, Ronan can tell that much- and how couldn't he be? He shot something that wears his own face in cold blood, not without reason, but... still. It's unnerving and as much as Ronan wants to be considerate, he needs to be away from it too.

He still hesitates, imagining what it would be like to be left alone with your own corpse- but he doesn't have to imagine very hard because he's been there- and maybe it's that, moreso than anything else, that strikes flint into his heart and makes his shoulders square up.]

I'll be quick.

[He promises, glancing back downward before taking his jacket off quickly and kneeling next to the dead creature, laying the fabric of it over its head and gaping chest. So that anyone who happens across them won't recognize it. So that Adam doesn't have to look at it. So that- maybe some part of this can be hidden.

Ronan leaves then, moving for their house as quickly as he can. Sprinting would put him out of breath so he doesn't, but he moves fast, hoping that Adam will be able to handle being left with Aspen and the doppleganger's corpse for however long it takes Ronan to come back.]

[He watches Ronan go. He wanted Ronan to go, but now, being alone with the corpse of something he murdered, the solitude of it feels like a weight. Being alone is something he should be used to, is something he was used to, but that doesn't mean it's always easy.

For a moment, some part of him is afraid that Ronan won't return. That somewhere on his way back to the house they share, he'll realize what Adam really is - a murderer, the sort of coldhearted person who can decide to kill someone preemptively, simply because he thinks it needs to be done. That he'll realize that and he won't come back, he'll just keep walking.

But Ronan would never do that. Adam knows it, he knows it in his bones. He's only afraid because he doesn't know how to reconcile this. He's not sorry, he doesn't think it was really the wrong thing to do, but he's disturbed that it was easy. That he didn't back down, that he could do it.

He sits with his back against a tree. Aspen comes to him, puts his head on Adam's lap to be petted, and that helps a little. The dog is alert even then, like he always is when Adam is alone, just in case there's any danger. Because he's good, because he's the kind of wonderful thing Ronan dreams, because Ronan is, at the very core of himself, an impossibly good person.

He pets Aspen and waits for Ronan to return.]

[He isn't gone long- he meant it when he said that he'd hurry. While Ronan still refuses to use a moped (though, if he had one during this then he might hop on) he's quick on his feet and he knows the fastest way home by heart now.

It still feels like forever- every second he's away from Adam is another second that Adam has to spend alone with Aspen and that thing that he killed, and so Ronan doesn't waste time. He realizes, in retrospect, that he could have dreamed a new shovel, like he dreamed the rope... but after the gunfire, the not knowing, the dead body- well, he doesn't think that he's going to be falling asleep again anytime soon.

This will likely be faster, even if it's more inconvenient. He bursts through the door quickly, cutting straight through their house so that he can get to the back patio and searching briefly for the shovel he was given the previous year. It had been useful enough to keep, but not useful enough to use regularly, and so its presence had diminished in Ronan's mind, until his only real knowledge of where it was was just sort of a feeling of the general location of it.

Still, he finds it quickly enough, after dislodging some of his more cumbersome dream equipment, and Ronan grabs it and rushes back without delay.

It takes a little longer to get back than it did to get there in the first place, but the sight of Adam sitting against the tree with the creature still dead nearby makes something unknot from his chest, and he lets out a soft exhalation of relief.]

-Parrish.

[He's breathing hard and red faced, but he drops the shovel anyway, moving for Adam's side.]

You okay?

[It's strange, that wait. Adam isn't in any danger - doesn't feel like he is - but the wait is still uncomfortable, unsafe. Maybe it's only his thoughts that make it so, his uncertainty about his own actions and his difficulty accepting the ease of it. The touch of Aspen's soft fur against his fingers helps more than Adam quite realizes, and the simple presence of something that accepts him regardless of what he does.

He doesn't know what Ronan is thinking, worries about that as well, but still Adam finds the sight of him a relief. Ronan's here, at least, he came back. And he's worried about Adam, which sometimes Adam doesn't like - he doesn't want to be treated like someone who can't take care of himself, who might break easily - but right now he might need it.

Not to be worried about. He's fine. But to know that Ronan isn't so incredibly horrified by what he's done. He pushes Aspen gently off his lap and gets up.]

I'm okay. Here, sit down, rest for a little while.

[He reaches out to touch Ronan's arm, confirm his presence. Adam didn't doubt, not really, but even so he's immensely relieved that Ronan is back. And there's no way he's going to let him do anything else right now when it's clear he was pushing himself to get there and back so quickly.]

Are you all right?

[Ronan lets Adam touch his arm, but he resists the requests to rest- they have too much to do, and the sooner they do it then the sooner they can be rid of the body nearby. Still, it'll be good to catch his breath, and he sets the shovel down, leaning against the handle of it for a moment while he regains his bearings.

It's hard not to look at the body- almost as if he'd forgotten it in the time he'd been away, looking at it makes it real again, and he represses a shudder at the sight, despite his coat still strewn over the face and mangled chest.]

Just out of breath.

[But that's beside the point, and not helpful for what they're doing right now. Ronan gives himself another moment or two, before he straightens up and grips at the shovel, pushing it a little more forcefully into the soil near the tree.]

Here okay?

Let me do it.

[This is still his responsibility. That's how he feels, and it's not something he can easily ignore - he did this, he made this body, and he's the one who needs to clean it up. Ronan did nothing except be the person he is, the kind of person who might lash out in anger but would never think things through coldly the way Adam did.

He reaches out to take the shovel and start digging himself. There's no way he can let Ronan do this. He's already done so much.]

Here is good, but I'll do the digging. Just - just rest, okay? You brought this, that's enough.

[He doesn't quite want to look at the body, but he forces himself to anyway. It's important to take responsibility for the things you've done. Adam has always believed that, and how could he not? He spent so many years being blamed for his father's anger, his mother's indifference. If there's one thing he can take from that, it's to look at the things you've done and take them on your own shoulders, rather than forcing the blame on to anyone else. He did this, whatever that makes him. However bad it might be.]

You don't-

[But Adam is already taking the shovel from him, already starting to dig. They don't have two shovels and so Ronan can't help him much, so he stands there, watching as Adam begins. He feels... useless, maybe, like he shouldn't be there at all, but he knows what Adam would think if he leaves.

So he stays, fingers tightening and loosening anxiously as he watches Adam move, watches Adam stare down at the thing.]

Don't look at it.

[He drags his eyes away, though it isn't easy. He knows he'll probably be seeing this in his dreams. But even so, the act itself bothers Adam less than the knowledge that it was this easy for him - that he could take a life without real hesitation. Even if this wasn't a real person, it was close enough. And how can he know that it wasn't, really?

He digs the shovel into the ground, working steadily.]

If you had run into it alone, would you have thought it was me?

[It's not a trick question. Adam would rather hear a yes, because that would mean that maybe he did the right thing - that maybe it was what needed to happen. He knows that creature had no good intentions, and if Ronan could have been fooled by it, then he can - well, not rest easy. This won't sit easily with him. But he can hold on to that justification, at the very least.

Of course it would be flattering to think that Ronan would always be able to find the real Adam, but that's not realistic, and Adam isn't sure he'll believe it even if Ronan says so. He isn't sure he'd want to believe it, anyway, because then he might have done something both awful and unnecessary.

It's all right if it's just awful. That seems to be what he's good at.]

[Ronan hesitates. It seems like a trick question, one that doesn't really have a right answer. He doesn't know what Adam is looking for here, but he also knows that he isn't going to lie about it, even to spare the other boy's feelings. That's just not the kind of person he is.

So, would he have known? The creature seemed like Adam, sure- it talked like him, moved like him, but after they'd discovered what was off about it, it had turned dark too quickly. Ronan likes to think that he'd have sensed that darkness, maybe been able to use that to find a thread of truth in the impostor and revealed him for what he was.

But he doesn't know. He can't really know for sure, not when things happened the way they did. And so in the end, he simply shrugs, arms crossed at his stomach.]

I don't know.

[Part of him wishes that he could say yes. He's almost sure that that's what Adam would want to hear, that Ronan would recognize him anywhere, even above one of these things. That's something that Ronan wants to be able to say too, but in truth, he's not sure. The monster had been convincing, that much is obvious.]

I guess it depends on how it would've gone down.

[He nods, digging the shovel into the dirt again. It makes sense. That creature, the other Adam, gave itself away a little too quickly - but then, it had to, didn't it? With the real Adam right in front of it, there's no way it could have fooled Ronan. If it had found him alone, though, things might have been very different. It was intelligent, Adam could tell that.]

I guess it doesn't matter now.

[They'll never know either way, and Adam is all right with that, more or less. He doesn't really want to think about what could have happened, though he knows he won't be able to stop. It's reassuring, briefly, to focus instead on the physical movement of his body, his hands and arms and back, as he digs the hole. The grave, though Adam flinches from thinking of it that way. He still doesn't want to think of this creature as a person.

He doesn't dig six feet down, but he digs enough that it'll be covered, that it won't be easily unearthed.]

I think this is good.

[He's struck by the urge to apologize for not being able to give Adam a clear answer, and Ronan swallows it down quickly. He's being honest, there's no need to apologize for that, but still, he doesn't think that it's the answer that Adam waned to hear.

Ronan is still trying out this empathy thing, trying to be better about sensing Adam's moods and reacting to them in a way that won't piss him off, but in a situation like this, he's not sure what he can really do or say to make it better. It's not that Adam isn't unique, that he doesn't love him and wouldn't recognize an impostor in a heartbeat, but rather that his impostor was exactly like him.

It's disconcerting to think about what might have happened otherwise. Ronan loving this thing, Ronan trusting it like he trusts Adam. Who knows what it could have done? Maybe Adam was right in taking care of it, but Ronan still isn't sure what could have happened. They'll probably never know.]

Alright. I'll move it in.

[Easier to not have to do the burial on a thing that looks just like you. Ronan sighs and stands up, hesitating a moment before leaning down to pick up the body. There's blood- sticky now, smearing across Ronan's arms, and the body itself is stiff with the time they spent digging, but still maneuverable into the hole.

Ronan leaves his jacket over the face and chest when he steps back. It seems better that way.]

Good, you think?

Edited 2017-03-26 05:58 (UTC)

[Though Adam works in the orchard regularly, he doesn't often dig holes like this. His arms and shoulders feel loose, worn out, and he knows they'll probably ache tomorrow. He welcomes that, the feeling of hard work and of - penance, maybe. He doesn't really want to think of it that way, but he does. This isn't quite murder, but he should pay for it in some way.

He lets Ronan move the body, though the sight of it is difficult to watch, and the bloody traces left on Ronan's arms make his stomach tighten. Not because it's blood, but because it's almost his blood, or at least he's afraid Ronan will think of it that way.]

Yeah.

[He wonders if they should say something. But that's ridiculous, and Adam wouldn't know what to say anyway. He picks up the shovel again, but hesitates.]

Do you want to do it?

[He'll do it himself if Ronan can't stand the thought of it, he has no problem with that. But he thinks this is a chance for - he's not sure. Closure, maybe? A way to step away from this, to put it behind them? He wants to give Ronan that chance, anyway, though part of him is afraid that it might only leave even more of an impression on him.]

Sure.

[Ronan reaches to take the shovel from Adam, letting out a long breath through his nose. He looks at the corpse in the hole then, his eyes downcast, before he moves to shovel the first bit of dirt- though he pauses after the shovel is buried, before leaning down to press a knee against the earth again.

It had Adam's face. It was going to trick him into doing something terrible, it was going to be cruel to him- but it was something that he easily could have dreamed on accident.

He reaches for the pile of dirt and slides his fingers around a small handful, before scattering it across the chest and stomach of the body in the makeshift grave. There's a part of him that's tempted to say something- a prayer, or just a gesture of goodwill, or anything- but he stays quiet, contemplative for a moment before hefting himself back up and beginning the process of shoveling dirt on it again.]

Shouldn't take too long.

If you get tired, I can finish it.

[He knows Ronan won't. Or rather, he knows that even if Ronan does, he won't admit it and he won't give the shovel up - Adam's known him long enough to know that. It would likely be true even if the body at the bottom of that shallow grave weren't identical to his.

He watches, but he doesn't say anything. What can he say? What can either of them say that will make this moment better? He feels like he can nearly see the weight on Ronan's shoulders, and he can feel it on his own. It's not like burying Gansey, which nearly destroyed them. It's closer to burying a night horror, upsetting and horrifying but ultimately something that will pass, in time.

But it's worse than that, he knows, because it looks like him and because even now Ronan likely isn't sure it's not a dream.

When Ronan is nearly finished, Adam comes to stand with him, to watch the last few shovelfuls of dirt fall.]

[It doesn't take too long for Ronan to keep filling in the hole with dirt- there's some left over, and he fills up a small pile over the grave, before patting it down with the back of the shovel.

It's done, and his hands are a little dirty, so when he wipes the sweat off of his brow, it smudges across his skin.

Adam is standing near him, and Ronan props the shovel up on the ground before turning toward the other boy. Their nice walk through the garden to take care of the various plants has been entirely derailed by now, and Ronan isn't sure if either of them have the fortitude to keep going through with that. It's probably better just to head home and crash alongside their adrenaline, but he wants to make sure that they're alright first.]

...so that's over with.

[It's a poor attempt at levity and the corner of his mouth twitches up wryly.]

You okay?

I will be.

[He's not right now, and he doesn't have the energy to lie to Ronan - or the desire to. Ronan would know he was lying anyway. He steps closer, tugs the sleeve of his shirt over his hand so he can reach up and wipe away the dirt on Ronan's brow, a careful and oddly intimate gesture.

He'll be grappling with this for awhile. Less then act itself than what it means about him, whether it's changed the way Ronan looks at him. He'll keep to himself, too, because it's not an easy thing - but Adam thinks it will be okay. He just has to think things through, the way he always does. Then he can move on. So long as Ronan is there, he'll always have a reason to.

And Ronan is still here - that means a lot.]

Are you?

[They should go home, he thinks. They aren't going to get anything done here, not after that. Not after the physical labor and the emotional toll, and everything else.]

Yeah.

[He rubs at the back of his neck, stepping backward and dragging the shovel along with them. There's nowhere else to go but home right now, and he thinks that they could both use a shower, and so he starts to move down the path toward home, making sure that Adam is moving alongside him.

He doesn't think that he sees Adam any differently. He'd have preferred the clone not to die, but what did he know? It could have been a night horror with skin, and he's killed enough of those. But still, he can't help but to think about the kind of creature it was, what might have happened if they'd let it live.

Stupid, he knows. Ronan doesn't resent Adam for what he did, but it's not ideal by any means.]

Yeah. More or less.

[He sighs, making a wincing face toward Adam.]

Maybe tell me next time? That was a shit wakeup call.

[He walks with Ronan, toward home. Aspen follows along behind them, cheerfully oblivious to anything that happened, to any tension or discomfort there might be. The life of a dog is a good one.]

Hopefully there won't be a next time.

[At least, Adam really hopes he never again has to murder an identical clone of himself who seems to be evil. One is more than enough, twice would just be ridiculous.

He sort of hopes he never has to shoot someone again, but it's not a realistic hope. He's already had people shoot at him, who knows what they'll need to do when the next time something like this happens? It simply isn't practical to think that he'll never have to do anything like that again.

But Ronan seems - well, not okay with it, not exactly. But he wouldn't lie, and he doesn't seem to want to distance himself. Maybe it'll be all right.]

I think I'm just grateful I didn't accidentally make you pull something really weird out.

Hopefully, [he echoes a little hollowly, though of course Ronan shares the sentiment- the less people that Adam has to kill, the better, especially when those people look like him, when he feels he doesn't have a choice, when he has no backup from Ronan, who stupidly, optimistically, naively, believes that there was some truth to what the double was saying.

But that doesn't matter anymore. Adam dealt with it and they buried it and now they're safe. They'll try not to let it happen again, but if it does then they'll handle it just like they handled it now. They're capable, resourceful, and- maybe a little traumatized, but it's not like they can do anything to change that.

Ronan offers Adam a wry smile.]

Well, luckily I wasn't there long enough to get my hands on anything. Else that might've been a lot more fucked.

[Moreso than it already was, which was saying something. If the two of them had to deal with some kind of monster right after that, then things could have ended very differently.

Or maybe not. Adam still had the gun, after all.]

[Now that Adam has thought of it, the thought is not at all pleasant. He should probably have known that the sound of a gunshot would wake Ronan up, and that waking him up suddenly could lead to something very dangerous. But as practical as Adam is, he's not always able to think things through as well as he should.

It could have been a lot worse. He'll remember that for next time, remember the chilling possibilities of Ronan's power. It doesn't scare Adam - not anymore, not when he regularly spends nights next to Ronan and wakes up to find whatever strange thing he's dreamed - but he knows to be wary of it.]

We got lucky.

[He's still thinking about it. And Ronan's reaction is something he'll need to think about as well - how he seems to have accepted it, his easy trust in Adam even though Adam has done something awful. It's - honestly, it's flattering, it's not something Adam would expect from anyone. It's something he would expect Ronan to give Gansey, not him, though he supposes when he thinks about it that Ronan has always trusted him, and being here has only made it stronger.

Still. It's not an easy thing to accept. Not for someone like Adam.]

Let's get home. Clean up.

Yeah.

[Hopefully there aren't more of these... whatever-the-fucks hanging around and they can continue to get home in peace. Ronan doesn't know if it was a dream thing or if it was a new type of monster- if they'll see more Adams or if they'll see copies of everyone else. It shakes him, but he knows that he has to deal with things as they come, to stand close to Adam in case it happens again and make sure that he has eyes on the real one at all times.

Because this one has to be. The other one was convincing, but Ronan has been with this boy since before- whatever this is. They'll figure it out together and he can leave no room for doubt in his mind. So he sighs and tangles their fingers together with his free hand, so Adam can know that he's still close, that he's still there, that he still believes him.]

We both could probably use a shower.

[Albeit, for rather different reasons- Adam still has blood on him, and Ronan is now covered in dirt.]

[Ronan's hand in his is more comforting than he has words for, and for a moment he clings too tightly, as if he's afraid Ronan will pull away or vanish, or maybe just that he's dreaming. Then he gets ahold of himself and relaxes his grip, holds Ronan's hand like a normal person. Still. It helps.]

Yeah. A shower would be nice.

[Normally, Adam might propose they shower together. But this isn't normal, and he doesn't want Ronan washing the blood off him. That's something to do alone. But knowing that Ronan will be there, that he'll come out and everything will be - not fine, but okay - that's all Adam can possibly ask for right now.

He holds on to Ronan's hand as they walk home, letting it comfort him and trying, in his own quiet way, to offer comfort in return.]

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Event Log: Dead Ringers

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