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Who: Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux
What: serious talks while cooking because that's a great idea
Where: at their house
When: evening of Feb 9th
Warnings: they are terrible people who do terrible things so most likely mentions of murder/genocide, destruction, all that lovely stuff.

I can't believe you talked me into this.

[It wasn't the first time he had said that since Kylo had decided that he needed to learn how to cook. All his life he had been taunted for being the bastard son of a kitchen maid, he had sworn that he would rise above that and prove that he was better than where he was from.

But, as much he had hated to admit it, Kylo had a point. Cooking would be a useful skill here and he should at least know the basics aside from knowing how to make coffee.

He snatched the knife from Kylo, ignoring the bubbling of the pot behind him. They had the house to themselves, he didn't know where Anakin had wandered off to but he wasn't concerned. It gave him and Kylo some relative quiet for a bit.]

I don't need you to tell me how to chop something. [He said as he looked at the cutting board thoughtfully. This couldn't be more difficult than anything else he had never learned. He carefully positioned his hands as he started to cut, making sure each piece was exactly the same shape as each other.]

I would never have thought you had any kind of cooking skills before we came here. Is it a part of Jedi training? [It was a question he would never have asked if Snoke was around but the circumstances were different now.]

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Keep an eye on that pot. If it over boils, it's going to be your fault.

[Kylo had been determined to at least teach Hux how to make a basic meal. This way, he wouldn't starve if Kylo was otherwise indisposed. So far, it had been slow going. Every time Kylo set him to a task, he got focused on it, and forgot about everything else.

The mention of where he'd picked up these skills made him pause as he sat at the kitchen table, handing off tools to Hux as he needed them. Unwanted memories sprang forth.]

It calms me down. It's easy to make a meal perfect. [And Kylo was nothing if not obsessed with perfection.] I picked up the basic skills when I was a kid. Most nights, it was just me and the droids, so I learned to make what I liked.

I'm watching it-

[But as soon as he said that he heard the loud plop of sauce, turning around to see red splattered across the stove. He dropped the knife to quickly turn to the sauce, frowning. The kitchen was going to be a disaster after he finished.

He quickly stirred it only to notice the pot of pasta starting to boil over. It only occurred to him then that he had forgotten to stir that as well but as soon as he took his attention off the sauce it threatened to boil over again. The pasta was forgotten once more as he turned his attention to the sauce, stirring.]

I can't see how this is calming. You must have had a lot of practice. [Or easy but he wasn't going to admit defeat yet as he turned down the sauce after it splattered in his face which made him jump.]

I only remember being in a kitchen once in my life before our arrival here, I had somehow managed to sneak away from my nanny droid for an afternoon.

Keep the sauce turned down and put a lid on. It'll be fine while you deal with everything else.

[If he hadn't already burnt the bottom of it to a crisp. Kylo was watching, but not lifting a finger to help. The sink or swim method was being employed here. He was enjoying bossing Hux around. So often, the general acted like he was superior in every way. To see him out of his element and downright flustered was improving his mood immensely.]

You should appreciate a hobby that revolves around getting the little details right. [If he just measured everything correctly and made sure everything was the right temperature, he could control it all, and make sure it was perfect. Kylo could control so very little in his own life.]

How have you not starved to death before now? [Of course, Hux was still a scrawny noodle even with getting regular meals now, so that answered that question. He pauses, watching Hux move around the kitchen, looking rather like a man trying to bail out a boat that was already under water.]

Can I ask you something personal?

[Hux stopped to give Kylo a flat look for a moment, he knew that Kylo was no doubt enjoying this. But he refused to just storm off, admit defeat, or even ask Kylo for help so he went to find a lid, slamming it on before picking up the knife again.

That was when he remembered the pasta boiling over, dropping the knife before hurrying over to the stove once more. The most of the noodles were stuck together but he thought it looked fine, they seemed edible and like the noodles Kylo had served before. He would make Kylo and Anakin eat this dinner no matter how it turned out anyway.]

I have hobbies like that. Who do you think ensured Finalizer was perfectly designed? [Because that was a hobby, to him. He could work with technology, he understood blueprints and equations so much better. They made sense to him more than cooking did.]

The droids bring me food, I eat it when I have a chance, that's pretty much it. I'm just grateful when I get to sit down for a meal so I don't really worry about what they bring me. [He spent most of his time running around the star destroyer or Starkiller, trying to see to everything at once.

He was surprised by the question, peering over at Kylo with the knife in his hand as he turned his attention back to cutting vegetables. He would make sure at least these turned out perfect.] Ask away.

Edited 2017-02-10 03:44 (UTC)

So that's why you took all that destruction so personally. [Surprisngly, the tantrums had decreased over the past month. Between Ahsoka giving him training and trying not to let Anakin know just how immature his grandson was, he'd been careful only to destroy some abandoned buildings and shops.

Kylo would eat whatever food Hux managed not to turn into an inedible hunk. He didn't promise exactly how much he would eat, but he would try. He winced as Hux dropped the knife. The pasta appeared to be a lost cause at this point. Either it was going to crunch when he bit into it or be a soggy mess. Well, maybe he could salvage the salad. There was no way Hux could mess up just chopping vegetables into a bowl together.]

That can't be good for your digestive system. [He already had high blood pressure and an ulcer at this point in his young life. If he kept this up, he was going to drop dead before the age of forty. Thus would end the illustrious career of the First Order's youngest general.

Kylo leaned forward, hesitating a moment before he asked his question. This was just bound to distract him from preparing the meal at hand, but kriff it.] Have you ever been in love? [Hmmm, maybe he should have pulled out another bottle of wine before asking Hux this one.]

Yes, Finalizer was my first star destroyer that was mine alone to command. I watched her being built. [He was proud of his star destroyer and watching Kylo destroying it carelessly had never been easy.

He turned the heat off on the pasta, believing it to be done. He had forgotten about the sauce as he went back to finishing the salad, tossing everything into the bowl together. The vegetables he had painstakingly chopped to be perfect made it in, the lettuce sat forgotten on the counter behind him.]

That's what my medic droid tells me constantly. I don't exactly get much of a choice between juggling my responsibilities as a general, and command of a star destroyer and Starkiller. [Along with lectures about not drinking caf, not using stim shots to stay awake, trying to reduce stress, etc. He knew he had sacrificed his health to see the end of the Republic.

But his stomach pain had improved here and he was able to sit down for meals and get regular sleep. It helped to make him less irritable as he wasn't in near constant pain anymore.

Of all the questions he had expected Kylo to ask, that was not one of them. He peered over at Kylo, not sure what to say for a moment. Love was something he really had just never considered. Lust, certainly, but love was something he believed to be a vulnerability he couldn't afford.]

What makes you ask that? If you're looking for advice on a matter like that your grandfather would be the one to approach.

I pity any children you ever end up having. [If he's that meticulous with the Finalizer and Starkiller, Kylo shudders to think what sort of parent Hux would make.]

Drain the water out of the pasta or it'll get soggy. [Sorry, Hux. He's never going to get a chance to make those carrots completely even. Kylo Ren could smell the sauce beginning to burn, but one thing at a time. He was determined to make Hux see this meal all the way through, no matter how poorly it turned out to be.]

Right. The grandfather whose obsessive love for his wife led to him being stuck in a helmet and suit for most of his life, who missed out on the opportunity to know his children, and whose moment of love and weakness killed him. [He may idolize Anakin in many ways, but he's definitely not asking the man on matters of love unless it's how to avoid letting them ruin his life.] I'm asking you.

I'm not having children or getting married. I have enough people trying to kill me as it is. [He had no interest in any of that, he had so much to accomplish. He simply wasn't the type of person who would want those kinds of things so he didn't feel as if he was missing out on anything.

He grabbed the strainer and put it in the sink so he could drain the pasta, looking away to avoid the steam. This was a disaster, he had no delusions that this would turn out well and he wouldn't force Anakin or Kylo to lie. He just wanted them to eat it.]

I never said he had great judgment, only that he had more experience. [He set the empty pot in the sink before remembering the sauce. It was definitely burnt but he believed it was still capable of being saved.] No, I've never been in love, at least anything I would call love. You never said why you are asking, though.

Afraid your children would do the same thing to you as you did to your father? [The Hux family had Issues with a capital I. Not that the Solo-Skywalkers didn't, but it was a different brand of insanity with them.

He shook his head as Hux drained the pasta. Well, maybe that part of the meal wouldn't be such a disaster. If it crunched, Kylo was definitely bailing. There was only so much tolerance he could have for Hux's first real dinner.] Turn the sauce off before you hurt yourself.

[Kylo got a pensive look on his face, something that both made him look calmer than usual, and yet with something approaching worry in it. It was very much in line with the expression he'd have on his face when first facing his father.] I'm trying to figure out what's still holding me back. I've never been in love either, but the love for my family might be tethering me to the Light.

If my child at all competent they most likely would try to kill me, that's true. But I'm not interested in being a parent.

[At Kylo's suggestion he turned towards the sauce, carefully taking the lid off. It seemed done, he was just going to go for it as he dumped it and the pasta into a bowl to mix together.

He glanced at Kylo as he set food on the table, raising his eyebrows.] Holding you back? From what? Marriage, a relationship, and children? I wouldn't have expected you would want those things. You didn't seem the type.

[But then again, if he thought about it, there wasn't a lot he really had known about Kylo even if he knew his background. He sat at the table once everything was laid out, looking at Kylo thoughtfully.]

You better eat what I made. And don't bother lying about how it tastes.

[No, he wanted to see Kylo suffer having to eat what he had instead]

That's probably for the best. [He didn't know if the galaxy could survive another Hux. The next one would likely tear a hole in the time-space continuum that sent them all hurtling towards their doom as it destroyed everything.]

[Kylo looked miserable as he answered, his face troubled as the two sides within him warred back and forth.] I don't know what I want anymore. [He'd thought he was set on one path only: to become a Sith Lord. But since arriving here, all he'd felt was the confusion within him growing even more. Now he felt he was caught between many choices, all of them with potential, but none of them looking like the right one. He was trying to sort himself out, but with no luck. Talking with Hux had just distressed him even further instead of helping.]

I won't. And by the way, you forgot about the salad again. The vegetables are still lying there, half chopped on the countertop. While Hux sorted that out, Kylo would be dubiously peering at the pasta and sauce. The former was mostly a rubbery lump and destined to be extremely chewy. But even it had fared better than the red sauce, which had black burnt bits running all the way through it. Kylo tentatively poked at it with a fork. Well, he had better get it over with. He picked up a small bite and ate it. The taste was overwhelmingly of burnt sauce, and true to his prediction, the pasta was extremely overcooked.]

It's...edible. [So that was one point in Hux's favor.]

I'm surprised. I've never heard you so doubtful. [Then again, they never really had talked back in their own galaxy aside from arguments. Everything was an argument whether it was just trying to co-exist on one star destroyer or trying to coordinate their efforts to fight the Republic and the Resistance.]

I've always known what I wanted. I never had a moment of doubt. [Granted it had been a choice that had been presented to him as long as he could remember. Follow Tarkin's footsteps but never settle to be just a Grand Moff. The galaxy was his for the taking and he had never lost sight of it.

But...here there were complications. There was no galaxy to conquer and no Resistance to fight. And fighting with Kylo was now over just blankets at night. Hux had stopped trying to suffocate Kylo and he wasn't sure why that was.

He grabbed the bowl to put the vegetables, looking up with a smirk as he watched Kylo eat. He knew the meal was a disaster but it was worth it just to watch him try to choke it down.

He returned to the table with the salad- this time with the lettuce. He wouldn't eat the pasta or the sauce and instead just helped himself to the salad. ]

Well, there's something, I never knew I could make editable food.

Then you're fortunate. My life has been filled with nothing but doubts. [First, Ben had never known whether he was truly loved or not by his parents. Despite all the love they showed him, their neglect had allowed something dark to grow in his heart. Then he'd been set on the path of the Jedi, all the while wondering if he was doing what he truly wanted to. When he turned to the Dark Side, he thought that would silence the doubts forever. Instead, he found that he was as lost as he'd ever been. Nothing had ever truly made them leave no matter what he did.

Here, training with the Force users of old, he finally had the opportunity to seek out a different path. While he was resistant to change, he had found that doing so might be for the better. It might preserve what was left of his soul and sanity.]

I said it was edible. I didn't say it was good. You take a bite now. [He pushed the plate of pasta over towards Hux. One bite had been more than enough for him.]

Well, your parents and Leader Snoke aren't here. You can figure out what you want. [He pointed out thoughtfully. It was something he was having to figure out here.

Since the day he was born he had been set on the path of becoming more than Tarkin, someone to re-establish the glory of the Empire. It became his entire life, he had never even thought he could do anything different. It became his identity so now that he was away from all of that, he wasn't sure what was left.]

I wasn't expecting it to be good, you don't have to spare my feelings or anything ridiculous like that. [He looked down at the bowl, wrinkling his nose. It looked disgusting but his pride made him pick up the fork and take a bite. He grimaced but forced himself to swallow.] That is disgusting.

[He would never admit but he had a new respect for Kylo's talent in the kitchen now more than ever.]

If I knew what I wanted, I wouldn't have the doubts in the first place. [His eyes were stormy, thoughts of the past rising up behind them. He'd always had just one singular goal he could really think of in his life: he wanted power. Enough of it to know he was the best and that he never had to be afraid of anything ever again. He would do whatever it took to gain it. All this time, he'd thought it his path lay with Snoke. Being here, he wasn't so sure anymore.]

Don't worry. You'll do better next time. [Yep. He was already planning for there to be a next time with Hux in the kitchen. Maybe this meal had just been too ambitious for him. They could start off with something smaller. Surely, he couldn't mess up something simple as oatmeal, could he?]

You have your grandfather here, I'm sure he can help you figure it out. [Hux remarked as he pushed the bowl away. He hated to waste the food but no one could eat what he cooked without being sick eventually.

He shoved the salad bowl towards Kylo, at least they had that.]

There will be a next time? You saw what I did with the pasta. [He wasn't ashamed to admit that his cooking skills were not impressive.]

I hope so. [He could sense a great deal of turmoil in Anakin, much more than he would have suspected for the legendary man known as Darth Vader. It had been quite a surprise. He would have expected his idol to have it a little more together.]

Kylo pours a good amount of dressing on the salad, stabbing a fork into it. At least Hux hadn't been able to mess this up, so they wouldn't starve to death tonight.]

Of course there's going to be a next time. You're not going to get any better unless you practice. I think we'll try breakfast next. [If all else fails, he can at least make toast and cereal. Maybe eggs, if Kylo is feeling especially ambitious in Hux's skills.]

In the meanwhile, you have training to occupy you at least. [he pointed out as he watched Ren dump dressing on his salad, raising his eyebrows in silent but clear judgment.

He liked the taste of fresh fruits and vegetables since they were so rare for him so he couldn't understand why Kylo liked to drench his salad like that.]

Fine. But I don't want to hear you complain if my cooking makes you sick. [Hux remarked as he ate. The salad turned out decently so that was a start.] Are you going to have me make breakfast?

[He couldn't deny, at least to himself, that he liked how Kylo made eggs. But he wouldn't say that aloud, it seemed so silly to look forward to something like eggs in the morning.]

I'll be fine. I've digested worse than your cooking. Can't think of when it was right now, but it's definitely happened. [He wondered if the general might be messing things up on purpose to poison him, but Hux didn't seem to have put that much thought into this disaster of a meal ahead of time.]

We'll start you off with something small. I doubt even you could mess up toast. [Then again, seeing the results of this last culinary adventure had left Kylo with some doubts.]

Oh how reassuring. [He knew full well his cooking skills were almost non-existent. Perhaps it had to do with some subconscious refusal to learn because of who his mother had been but he didn't bring that up. He knew Kylo was aware he was a bastard but he had never mentioned who his mother was. It wasn't something he was eager to share.]

I'm sure I could handle toast, it doesn't look that complicated. [He had his doubts as well but he wouldn't back down from a challenge.] I did manage the salad.

[This was why they complimented each other so well. Kylo did the cooking and Hux cleaned everything up. Between the two of them, they made for a fully functioning adult. With how the two of them were stunted, it was the best that they could hope for.]

Good. Tomorrow, we shall try bacon and eggs. [He looks far too pleased as he looks Hux over. They'll be having these little experiments until Kylo is sure that Hux isn't going to starve should Kylo Ren end up completely incapacitated.]

If you're going to teach me how to cook, I'm going to teach you to do laundry and make the bed. If something happens to me, I would hate to think that you're just going to go around wearing dirty clothes that haven't been washed in days.

[He figured that even if Kylo was a slob he could at least learn basic skills as well. Even if he struggled to get Kylo to put dirty clothes in the laundry hamper he was sure that he could teach him how to use the washing machine.]

I know how to do laundry. I just choose not to. [Which really doesn't help his case. It's one thing to not know how to do something out of sheer ignorance. It's another not to do it out of laziness.] But I would like to learn how to make the bed the way you do. You could bounce a coin off of it.

You only think you do. I doubt you know how to do laundry without getting the clothes wrinkled. [Hux was a perfectionist even when it came to chores, he couldn't help it.]

I'll teach you then, it's not that complicated once you know how to do it. [Hux was surprised that Kylo wanted to learn to make a bed properly.] It just takes practice.

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