hadriel_logs | And what are the odds that I would fall again

Ikaruga was a little surprised by the message. It wasn't that Tyki wanted to spend time with her - they did so regularly. What surprised her more was that he wasn't simply sending her a message to confirm she was home and willing to entertain company before visiting shortly afterward, or to make plans for another day. There was more of an underlying sense of urgency to it all, and no further clarification.

Something was clearly on his mind. She could guess at one possible topic that might come up. She'd seen his replies to the Null's latest message, and she was well aware of what he thought of the gods. He also knew her well enough to know she was far more likely to admit to her true stance on any given issue in a one on one conversation than over the network.

They'd all forgotten their old lives entirely for a time - complete with their real family members. Tyki treasured his family, far more than some could have ever guessed. Perhaps he wanted to meet at the colosseum because he wanted to take some of his anger out on the monsters before talking to her. She'd succeeded in talking him down when he'd posted over the network about killing everyone before. He might have decided for a more socially appropriate outlet this time around.

The only way to find out for certain was to show up. He wasn't specific about when after nightfall, so she visited the orchard first, picking up a few pieces of fruit and packing them in the small bag she'd brought with her. Even in heels, she could move with stealth if she wanted to. At the moment, she didn't care about hiding herself. She caught sight of the tease monitoring the area. Odds were that he'd know she was here soon enough anyway.

He's waiting there for her right in the middle of the towering rocks and he's been there for as long as 'nightfall' was determined with that estranged light high above. His hands are in his pockets and he's lacking his usual coat that he always ways. In a white shirt and black slacks his hair is even messily pinned up against his head. He doesn't mind it today but he's clean and well rested. He's a lot of time to think.

There's a Tease on his shoulder which means some of them might have alerted him to her presence and he'll turn around when she begins to make those steps to close the gap between them. He's been waiting for this for a while and he has to make things clear. He recalls the kiss at the fake wedding and the flowers of the diner. He remembers a lot he shoulder that are false memories or played on sweetness of words. It's not anything special but it was definitely hidden thoughts constantly progressing in the back of his mind.

"Evening, my lady," he says in his usual calm yet cherry tone. It should clear the ominous air. If he could cook he might've made dinner but besides fish and chopping vegetables it wasn't much of a romantic dinner. He does have sandwiches on hand as he eats her often by himself for lunch. He just wasn't hungry earlier.

She's relieved to see that he's tidy and seems to be in good spirits. That means she won't have to de-escalate anything and talk him down from anything that he might regret later. Actual remorse would be unlikely for most things he might do while angry, but the social consequences would be unpleasant and she wants to help him avoid those. While she's always willing to provide a supportive ear when he needs it, she's had a few things on her mind lately that she'd like to talk about.

"Good evening, my lord," she replies pleasantly. "I trust all is well?"

It seems to be, and that's what has her even more curious about the suggested meeting.

It's a good sign that nothing is internally wrong in his mind. While he has a few things he wants to discuss and add clarity to he has never been more right in his mind in a long time since coming here.

"As well as things can be. I'm sure you've seen the debates and arguments posted just about everywhere," he says with a hinted annoyance. His hand reaches out for hers for once as if seeking comfort without having to walk with her. There's a rub of it with his other hand as he looks over it. It's not the first time he's handled it in the last week.

"Ah, yes. The wonders of the network, where people can publicly make fools of themselves and air out their dirty laundry for all to see without even having to leave their homes." She's long since gotten over being shocked that people would behave so improperly in public. Now and then she's even amused by some of the more tame improprieties, like Rosie's shipping chart.

She gives her hand over willingly. It's a familiar form of affection between the two of them by now.

"I was pleasantly surprised to discover that there are others who are interested in bringing a little more culture to the community."

His laugh is hollow if only for the fact that he recently has aired his dirty laundry all over the network and appeared shamefully. Yet he never had a reason to impress anyone he at least tried to make himself acceptable to the eye.

He snorts a little at the way she says it and rubs her hand a little more now that he has it trapped in both of his hands.

"Then you, like everyone else, have seen them."

Fond of him as she is, she's not going to mince words. She's just not going to single him out, because in the months she's been here, plenty of people have said and done things to give off a poor impression of them over the network. Nevermind talking about murder as Tyki had, Sato had straight up shown Shadow's corpse over the network a couple of months ago.

"I have, yes. I spent some time reading what people had to say to them, too."

He squeezes her hand a little tighter as he pulls her closer to him. He has another reason to be here right now and yet a lot hindered all on her response. Never in a long while did he see words more valuable.

"Then you know where I stand on the matter." He leans in and pulls her into his embrace. To anyone else it looks like lovers embracing but to him he merely wanted her closer so that his voice can dull to a whisper. "I offered my hand at these weapons but I told them I was undecided. I had to discuss it with someone else first."

She wraps her arms around him, resting her head against his chest as they speak. She knew she was the one he referred to when he asked the Null if it was possible to send someone to another world, but it's nice to know that her opinion matters enough to him that he'd talk to her first before making up his mind. Particularly in light of how much he innately hates gods, and how much these specific ones have earned his ire.

"I got the impression that they know as much about the Door as any of us do. I have no faith whatsoever in their ability to deliver on any promises to send us home. I also think they would be worse to live with than the gods while we waited for them to figure out how to send us home. If they ever managed or cared to try. They cannot replenish the food supply. They are intolerant of dissent. I acted willing to cooperate with them, but I have no intention of lifting a finger to help them."

His hand lifts against her hair lightly just to hold her near but he doesn't really mess with it much more than that. His head is low as he starts to sway a little and he'll make her dance with him just to set the mood. There's no music but he doesn't really need it. It's more for his comfort and to affirm himself in his decision.

"That's correct. They believe that if the gods can use the door then so can they. The gods seem to have magic and the null seem to have technology and science. Both are able to provide from what it seems.

But my lady that brings us back to the harden point. The gods won't send us home. They haven't even offered such a reward. We are still their power source so they can run and hide. They will not compromise with us nor send us to help. Waiting is an option but this is also an effective one." Not that he's entirely disagreeing with her. He doesn't believe them 100%

"There is another option. The scientist, Dr. Marian Tenebris, has been gradually setting up equipment here, with the intention of studying the energy readings when the Door opens and brings in more people a little later this month. I intend to be here when the Door opens as well. If the energy in question is magical, I will sense it, and otherwise, the technology she created should be able to get something of use."

They're much closer than is proper for a dance, and their conversation is more serious than dancing really warrants, but she doesn't mind. Were they to succeed in getting their hands on the Door and finding his world, this is exactly how she'd want to go through - holding one another close so that they didn't get separated while passing through dimensions.

"I choose to side with the people here rather than the gods or the Null. I intend to prevent Hope's death until we can take control of the Door and leave becuase his continued existence will ensure people here are provided with clean water and food. Until we have the opportunity to go home, I want to kill the Null. Killing these gods is not such an impressive feat, if the Null are confident that giving us their weapons will do the job. If people with no abilities other than good aim could do it...I have no interest."

It's a waste of their talents, as far as she's concerned, if people she could have defeated when she was only ten years old could manage this task. No matter how much Tyki may want to kill the gods.

"Killing the beings that drove a race of gods nearly to extinction, on the other hand...that would be a delightful challenge. How long has it been since either of us has enjoyed that kind of thrill?"

"And if that fails and this chance isn't taken then we are left at square one all over again. I know you know that I am willing to wait but the gods have gone too far for me to keep my politeness in check for long."

Yes, a dance might be with a gloved hand or two and never letting bodies touch. Right now it was entirely improper and something left to closed doors away from prying eyes. The gods could be watching and he wouldn't care.

"I choose to side with you, not with the people, the Nulls or the gods yet I have my doubts on what the people are able to accomplish. The gods will not let us go even if the Null win. The Null do not need us and the worst case scenario is that they'll eradicate us."

He snerks, "Do you believe that we'll ever get that chance to kill them? Fear will keep moving us and the Null will stay behind. Even if we were to dispatch the Null for them the gods have a chance of also not letting us go. Then they would be powerless. They have drank too deep of power to just let it go."

"The Null know no more than any of us do about the Door, and thus far they cannot even reach this place without Fear moving us. I don't consider their offer a true chance to leave, and as a personal rule, I never take on contracts where the client's ability to pay for services rendered is in question."

For all of their flaws, that's one of the things the gods have going for them. They have a past history of making deals with the residents of Hadriel, and on following through on those deals. They're also fairly good about ensuring the deals are equitable. They only ask for as much emotion as they need to replenish the power that they lose by completing someone's request. The other thing they have going for them is their vested interest in keeping the people here alive.

"To clarify, you are at the top of my list when it comes to siding with the people here. But there are some people I genuinely like, and there is no one here who I dislike enough to wish the gods and the Null on."

She's still curious about their dance to no melody, and about the meeting. This seems like a conversation they could have had in her home with a cup of tea so far, but the night is young.

"So...was there any particular reason you picked the collosseum for our meeting?"

"See, I always trusted my clients but then again that was my family. I knew I could. I cannot trust anyone but you, not anymore. Betraying that trust would cost far more than I am willing to understand yet I would harbor you no ill will. Other than my aggression."

He's always honest and perhaps he shouldn't be with her. He wants to be trusting because he likes her. He adores her. He wants her. He could spend an eternity with her and never get bored.

"Yes, but a god only gives what he or she is willing to sacrifice and only for something in exchange. That is why they'll never give us the door. It'll deplete their power. If I am to rely on the people that are likely to betray me then where am I then? Besides, any sane person that finds the Door is more likely to use it than share it. If it came down to a choice of them over all of us, most humans would pick themselves."

His fingers stroke into her hair gently and he is careful not to muse it unnecessarily, "I want to propose a courtship." Again, he's being straightforward. No tricks, no sabotage. Even if that version of Sans was simply an illusion, his words carried useless weight. He had listened.

He's placed a lot of trust in her, and she's offered him a great deal of trust as well. She won't reveal anything he's told her in confidence to others. One doesn't become successful in her line of work without the ability to keep a secret. Anything she'd say to others about him would be things that aren't really secret - such as him being a noble, or that he's a capable combatant.

Her eyebrows go up when he brings up courtship. She's wondered for a while where they stood - the line between friendship and romantic interest began blurring some time ago, and recent events only served to confuse things further. His invitation to have her come with him to his world, and her initial teasing about him proposing becoming more of a hypothetical discussion instead. Then they had their pretend wedding, and that kiss. Their fake lives only muddied the waters even more, since there's a lifetime of fake memories along with them.

She's silent for a moment before replying, "I accept." She pulls him just a little closer, halting their musicless dance in favour of a hug.

"There is one more thing you should know, regarding Hope." It's doubtful this will change his opinion much, but he should have a complete picture. "I spoke to him, and asked if it was possible to give a person regenerative abilities to extend their lifespan and make them immune to diseases. It would take enough power that he's currently unwilling, but he is capable and willing under less dire circumstances."

It's an indirect confession that she was thinking about her future with Tyki in the long term, even without knowing what he was planning.

He hadn't really been decided until after that whole issue with their family. The fake town had made the urge a lot worse. He knew what he wanted and had to rationalize a few things before hand. He had to come to term with things yet as always his resolve was one of the highest thing he had. Humans would die no matter who they were.

His dance stops if only for that hug and he holds her closer with his arms tightening, "I hate to bring this up but I think your father would be absolutely thrilled. Unfortunately I wouldn't give him a cent of our money."

His head tilts as he listens and he obeys silently with every one of her wordless commands. She was trying for him and yet as he said, a god would not give more than he would expend himself, "Less dire circumstances?"

"Hm. My mother would be thrilled. My father would be satisfied," she corrects affectionately. "He did not arrange the match himself, after all. My mother, on the other hand, has a large collection of romance novels, and after I left home, she told me once that she hoped I would find a husband who would make me truly happy, even if he wasn't someone she and my father chose."

Her relationship with her parents wasn't wonderful, but there was still some love. Frustrating as it was for her that her father had been so adamant about the match, and that he'd threatened to disown her for not doing her familial duty, they'd mended things enough that she visited. She's at peace with the way she left things.

"They are the last of their kind, desperately fleeing from genocidal machines who want to wipe them out, and their survival depends on people who dislike or outright despise them. Even from a completely objective standpoint, that is a fairly dire situation to be in."

The gods have earned most of that enmity, so she doesn't feel bad for them, but she can make herself take an objective look at the situation and see things from their perspective enough to figure out how to best bargain with them.

"But you see why I have a personal interest in keeping Hope alive, yes?"

He chuckles at her constantly correcting him. He loves it. "Right, right. I suppose I am use to fathers arranging things over other causes. Matchmaker, perhaps?" He's always curious.

Right now he'd love to keep his own place but he might ask her to move in or move in with her considering she had the bigger place. He did like his high up spire location. Though closer to Kanda to annoy him would be better. It all depended on where it was located on the map.

"I do understand, Ikaruga. Yet I cannot see any god continuing their services after you no longer feed them. If I were to take you home all of that would stop. Gods aren't that generous. Even the 'blessings' they bestow only last so long. Even if we were to get rid of the Null they would still be required to give their power without getting anything back."

"My father arranged my previous match for the sake of an alliance that would benefit the family politically and business-wise. To my mother's credit, she was not happy with the rude way my fiancee treated me at first, and she did insist that my father put a clause in the betrothal contract that the contract would be null and void and I would be left a house of my own if my fiancee were ever to become abusive. Unfortunately, she interpreted the possessive and controlling behaviour as him caring for me and left it at that."

Some possessiveness, she can handle. From Tyki, it's actually nice. It's led up to this moment, where they've agreed on an official courtship, and all that implies. She sincerely hopes they'll be able to go back to his world together one day, even knowing what she does about the Noah. Until they fully turn their power against humanity, she knows that she'll be loved and accepted for who she is, and live comfortably at his side.

"Hope admitted he was not sure of how far his power can reach...but I would rather take that chance and keep him alive than side with the Null. I forgot to mention it earlier, but I also spoke to Sorrow for a short time. I learned a few things about the Door. It was made by the gods' ancestors, and its function is to bring them emotion and chaos. None of them are experts on its operation, but Sorrow does know enough to reverse the process and said he would look into ways that people could be sent to worlds other than their own."

Tyki has a point, and she's not blindly trusting what the gods have said, but she also knows that the gods have kept their word in any bargains made. Then there's also the nature of the Door, which she wants to highlight. "If the Null learn the true nature of the Door, they may decide to destroy it rather than attempt to send any of us home."

So he cannot be completely disappointed in her parents in other words. It's not as if he actually minded a lot of it. It was the folly of humans that he did love. He took pity on them more than he should as a Noah. He actually hates them but he loves them. "I'll keep that in mind if I ever do meet them. This world can bring a lot of different people."

"My family lives together if you didn't get the hint of that when those memories of them were here. My brother does have his own house with his wife so it is a little different but when we gather we all gather where the Earl resides. I technically do not have a house of my own but that could be arranged. We have a lot of money." The attires are much different where he is. Less elegant and more powerful looking on ladies. It was far more Victorian of the London style despite living in Edo for a time.

"Yes, I understand that as well. At least they are offering, my Lady. I have been in this place for over a year and a half and do you know how much progress we have made with them on going home? Zero. Absolutely none. If the Null die I do not believe even then they would set us free."

Edited 2017-08-24 19:57 (UTC)

"I would like to have a house of our own. Close enough that we could visit often, but a place of our own for when we would like a quiet evening to ourselves."

Much as she likes what he's told her of his family, and what she experienced from that little preview, they're a very lively and impulsive bunch. Some of her happiest moments here have been the quiet and peaceful ones at his side, with no interruptions or need to speak. Then there's also the matter of not wanting to be walked in on while they're occupied in the bedroom. It seems more likely that it would happen at the Earl's home than if they had their own.

She releases him from her hug slowly and pulls back - not enough to be out of his arms entirely, but enough to look him in the eyes. It's important that they reach an agreement on what to do going forward. She reaches up to touch his cheek with one hand.

"About that...Sorrow revealed their plan to me. Should the Null no longer be a threat to them, Hope intends on reviving their former hosts. The ones who could choose to feel particular emotions at will, and with greater intensity than any of us are capable of feeling. Sorrow told me that if they were able to revive their former hosts, they would send home everyone who wants to leave, and he is willing to use what knowledge he does have of the Door to look into sending people to worlds other than their own."

She has no faith that the Null are capable of fulfilling their part of the bargain. The gods are capable and potentially willing.

"I want to kill the Null. For the thrill of battling against them, and for what we might gain. Will you help me?"

"That sounds nice, Lady Ikaruga."

He would want somewhere for himself. He couldn't help the notion of being alone in a quiet nook with somewhere to read a good book without interruption. A cup of tea or something light to chew on with her quiet company at his side. He couldn't ask for much more in a wife.

His thoughts are easily lost when she pulls back to look at him. He knows she's serious and he knows she needs him on his side right now. The opposite result would be him taking the Null's offer. It could be devastating for a lot of them. It could have major consequences on his part but none of that really mattered. It wasn't a game to him nor a reason to stay. It was just something he had to do. It's something he really wants to do. He'd rather be removed right now than have to suffer their damn emotions against his will.

"I will help you but I want you to understand something, my Lady. I will not stop anyone from trying to kill Hope. I won't protect him even for your happiness. Were I in between someone with their weapons I wouldn't move to lift a finger as they passed me by to kill him."

"I understand. Your hatred for the gods runs deep. All I ask is that when the Null bring their weapons, that you tell me where they told you to pick the weapons up, and that you watch my back while I am fighting, if it comes to that."

She won't ask him to do something that's anathema to him. Protecting a god goes against the very fiber of his being. It's why she's asking him to help her, and not Hope. Tyki is on her side, and she's on Tyki's side. Hope's survival just so happens to be on her agenda, because she has something to gain from it. Now that she knows Tyki won't attack Hope and Sorrow has told her what the gods' longer term goal is regarding their previous hosts, now she can negotiate with Hope in terms of killing Null off rather than supplying him with emotion. He'll be able to get all the emotion he needs when he can revive their previous hosts without fear that they'll just be killed off again.

Which reminds her...

"Are you willing to tell me about the rest of your abilities now, my lord? I want to be able to form a proper strategy against the Null. I have no doubt that they will come eventually. I'll share mine with you as well."

"They are far more intelligent than that. I doubt if I agree to take down Hope that they will not tell me where their weapons are. You may have to find someone else to give you that kind of information."

Because he won't stick his neck out for a god. Lying had nothing to do with anything but from what he could tell, the Null picked up easily on betrayal and resistance. He wouldn't stand in the way of a bullet for a god. He won't stop the Null from trying to kill them. He'll only kill a Null for the thrill of the battle. Betraying the Null was a suicide run for a god and he was not well with it.

He takes a step back from her because he shouldn't try his power on her yet he knows she trusts him. He lifts his hand into the air, "I'll show you my power but only properly. Allow me to use your body. I won't harm you. That is, if you trust me, my lady." He understands reservations. He had mentioned several times he would kill her in the end of their Noah plan and yet she still followed him.

The Null can be fooled. Hope told her as much, and the Null agreed to contact her. She simply made sure to act neutral, ask questions, and then act as though she'd thought things over and decided the Null were her best option. She contacted the gods in person only afterward, and she's not planning on having anything more than neutral interactions with the gods publicly until the Null make their move. She's only invested in their well being as far as it benefits her anyway, so her public neutrality is mostly genuine.

It's clear she and Tyki will never see fully eye to eye on the matter. He's likely even disappointed she didn't want to go and kill Hope together, but he at least accepts her reasons and has agreed not to actively try to harm Hope. For someone who hates gods as much as he does, that's enough. So she'll leave the issue as it is for now. She may try to coax the information about the weapons drop point out of him at a later date to see if he was given different information than she was, but she doesn't want to keep nitpicking over the details. They've reached an agreement about the important details and that's what matters.

A mischievous smile crosses her face at that particular choice of words. She doesn't know what he has in mind, but she's not going to let him phrase his request like that without a little bit of teasing. "Use my body? How very scandalous, darling. We're not even married yet."

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