Rise

[dreamsallotted]

Who: Cal and Seel; Seel and Jo; Seel and Pell
What: Seel comes back from the dead
Where: Hope's Temple; Hara House, Second Spiral, 1402
When: August 13th
Warnings: Talk of murder, death, drugs, emotional and verbal abuse. Will update as needed. 

[Rise and Shine] - For Cal

When Seel came too, he was lying someplace unfamiliar. He'd seen the temples but he'd never really investigated them. There was a first time for everything. He was confused when he first came too, and the memories came flooding back. What. The. Hell. He'd been attacked. Killed. For what? What the point? As far as he remembered, he'd never even met the boy. He did remember B coming up behind him, holding him tight and tilting his head up as he cut his throat. And then cutting it again to finish the job. And he remembered B licking his blood. 

Fuck.

Sitting up on the altar, he took a few moments, more than a few moments, to compose himself. He was not going to fall apart in some temple. He was a damn Gelaming and he was going to act like it. Of course, no one here cared. He was alone, even with two other hara here, future Gelaming, but not yet. The few friends he'd made here he felt he hadn't deserved, gotten through acts of kindness by others after he'd screwed up, or by memory brainwashing. 

So he called the one friend he had, which was really, really pathetic when he thought about it. He called the har who murdered his best friend, who he'd drugged, verbally and emotionally abused and left to rot in a tower for a couple decades.

Cal.


[Moving back] For Jo and Pell

Seel had finished moving his things back in. He was a little numb to say the least. Caught between solid numbness and wanting warm reassurance, he was fidity. Seel was also stressed and want a cigarette, but he'd given his to Cal when he'd woken back up. Quitting was a bitch all over again. He should never have started up. Part of his mind cajoled him, knowing he didn't have anything to cling to this time. There wasn't the promise of power, prestige, there wasn't even Thiede telling him to quit. Ag he wanted a fucking cigarette. He also wanted to go out and kill the fucker that killed him but that wasn't what we did in polite society. Not that this was one. He couldn't even play pretend anymore. So why the hell wasn't he out there? 

So, he played with his gun and sipped a drink. Cal was right. He'd gone soft. Thirty years in Forever reading reports and testifying before the Hegemony had dulled him. He was a goddamn bureaucrat now. He saw someone out of the corner of his eye. 

"What?"

Comments

[pyralisit]

Cal had been chain smoking for hours. It had been days--long enough that he was beginning to wonder if people came back from the dead after all. It didn't see like there should have been a reason to drag this out any longer than it had already gone on. What was this even supposed to be a punishment for? Nohar had done anything except try not to kill the humanity around them. It was already a fucking nightmare, and now the waiting.

He was startled out of his reverie at the call and he about fell out of the chair he'd been perched in, grateful once he stood up that there wasn't anyone around to see the less than graceful way he ended up standing. He was out the door before he even thought to respond.

Stay where you are.

[dreamsallotted]

Seel wasn't sure how long it had been. He wasn't even sure if it was night or day. Cal told him to stay where he was, and at the moment he took it literally, and stayed sitting on Hope's altar. He took out the box of cigarettes he had gotten from Fear, and played with them, holding and turning the box absentmindedly.

If he knew how fast Cal had run out he would have been grateful. It might have even made him a little sad at how their respective stories turned out.

Okay. There was nothing else to say. He wasn't sure if he could say anything else.

[knifecollecting]

"I-"

Jo freezes, trying to figure out why she feels defensive. Perhaps it was just the way the question had been asked. She was just walking through the house. She wasn't, or rather, shouldn't, be in trouble.

"Do you have bullets for that?" Sure, just go straight for the weapon and ignore the other pressing questions.

[dreamsallotted]

"Yup."

Sorry Jo. Seel was alternating between feeling warm and fuzzy and wanting a hug, and being downright defensive. Which he shouldn't have been, at least toward anyone currently in the house. There was only one person he needed to be defensive toward.

"You know how to use one?"

He wasn't sure how crazy that crazy fucker was. Actually, no, he was damn sure he was crazy. What kind of idiot drinks blood? He knew hara who randomly killed strangers, but they were typically humans, this had been the other way around. Had been.

Seel took a sip of his drink, putting the gun down."

[knifecollecting]

Jo stays where she is, not sure if the question means she's invited in to have a conversation or not.

"A gun? Yeah. Use 'em all the time back home." Or rather, she did use them before she died. She's not going to get into that with Seel.

"I'm good with one."

[dreamsallotted]

"Good. Make sure you get one here." He'd made that mistake. Seel had thought he'd be fine. That even without a weapon he was a har who could defend himself. Stupid. The gun might not have made a difference in his death, but it certainly made him feel better.

He looked at her. Most of the memories he had of her were false. But, she'd still cared and tried to help him.

"Do you want to sit down? I promise I wont shoot you."

[pyralisit]

Where was it, Hope's place? He doubted if Seel would know where he was, but that would have to do for a starting place. He could find Seel, he didn't doubt that. They'd known each other for too long. They could probably find each other blindfolded, as much as Sell might have disliked it.

Seel probably needed help, too, or he wouldn't have called for him. He'd have soldiered on alone if he had a choice. Sometimes it seemed like he was stubborn on purpose just to spite Cal for their youth.

At least he'd been right with his guess and there was Seel, sitting on Hope's altar looking like hell. He looked like he needed the cigarettes he was playing with instead of smoking.

"How are you feeling?"

[knifecollecting]

"Thanks." Jo nods, moving to sit across from Seel and get comfortable. She has a gun, she scavenged it from Dean's belongings when he disappeared, but she doesn't have much ammo for it and doesn't carry it much. She uses the weapons from Rage's temple more.

"I'd appreciate not being shot for sure."

[dreamsallotted]

The fact that Seel had called Cal instinctively twice now backed up Cal's theories. They could always find each other. Twice now Seel had a choice, and both times, he called Cal. They were a part of each other even if Seel hated it. Thought he regretted it. Couldn't sort out his own damn feelings.

How was he feeling. How the hell was he supposed to answer that? He stopped playing with the box and looked up at Cal, trying to formulate his own words and thoughts.

"Physically? I feel fine. Emotionally is something completely different." What was he doing? This wasn't Swift. This was Cal. He wasn't going to give you a cuddle and then play footsie under the covers.

He handed him the pack. "Here. I quit." Thiede would be relieved no doubt. Disappointed and relieved.

[dreamsallotted]

Seel played with his cup, trying to steer the conversation. How did it get stuck on guns? Oh right. He had one out. He needed someone to scoop up his brain and put it back in his head. Did dying do that to you?

"Thanks, for trying to help. Before. You were sweet. And so was the dessert."

[pyralisit]

There should have been a better question to ask. The fact that there wasn't said quite a bit by itself. At leas so long as they were tangled up in each other, Cal could at least feel like he almost understood what Seel was talking about. He hadn't managed to die yet, himself, though, so it still felt strange and distant. Yet another experience that Seel had that Cal couldn't relate to because it hadn't happened yet. He certainly didn't envy him this one.

He raised an eyebrow as Seel handed him the pack of cigarettes and he slid it into a pocket and offered him an empty hand to help him down from the altar.

"Are you sure? You look like you need one. Or a few."

[knifecollecting]

She looks at her hands for a moment before nodding.

"You're welcome. It didn't seem fair to me." But she still hadn't treated Cal like she should have.

[dreamsallotted]

"Yeah. I'm sure. Thiede doesn't want me smoking anyway." Thiede. He was like a crutch. The thing he clung to in order to get him through the hard times. It was ridiculous. Thiede wasn't even here. This entire situation was crazy.

Seel looked at Cal's empty hand with sad eyes, and took it, stepping down. The har stepped in closer, clinging. He didn't have a good excuse besides 'I died, hold me.' It was Cal. It never ended well, but there he was, wanting comfort from him.

[pyralisit]

Thiede. Of fucking course it was Thiede. Did he really need to have his hands that far down everyhar's throat that they couldn't even choose their own vices anymore? One more reason to add to the list of why he hated Thiede. That shady, manipulative...

He didn't even hesitate when Seel stepped up to him, throwing his arms around Seel and just holding him in silence for a few moments. If all he could do was be poor comfort, he'd do the best he could at that. He pressed his lips against Seel's temple softly, ran a hand through his hair, anything he could think of that might help. Hopefully it actually would.

[dreamsallotted]

Seel was sure that Thiede had his reasons. Now he knew what some of them were. The grissecon, Azriel. The fact that Cobweb wouldn't tolerate him smoking in Forever and Swift probably didn't find it that attractive either. But, Seel had a soft spot for Thiede, despite all the manipulation. Maybe that was a reason he'd chosen him. Who knew what his reasonings were. Thiede had his hand in so many damn pots that it was hard to keep track of. Seel certainly couldn't keep up. He doubted if even Pell, his Pell, could.

Seel sunk into Cal's arms, taking anything he offered. His breath hitching as he felt Cal's soft lips against his temple, his fingers through his hair, and for a moment he was back in that cellar. His own fingers dug into Cal, unwilling to let him go, his eyes wet, fighting to control himself or let it go.

[dreamsallotted]

"I'm grateful, even if it wasn't real. You could have stuck by Pell no matter what."

Despite the situation, and everything he'd been through, he gave her a small smile. Even brainwashed with false memories Pell and Cal still found each other. What had ever made him think he could separate them? They were halves of the same whole.

"You know not to go near that...har right? The new one. He's dangerous." He didn't want her getting hurt.

[pyralisit]

Thiede might have had reasons, but as far as Cal was concerned, most of them were bullshit. Just excuses to keep his leash pulled tight. Controlling every minute aspect of his victims' lives. Keeping them caged without having to use bars. He was goddamn menace. Not that anyhar else would believe Cal when he said it. Or they would, but they were too afraid to do anything about it.

He wanted to know what happened, but he wasn't stupid, either--it was a bad idea to ask that now. There would be time for that later. He didn't want to pull away, but he did a little so he could look into Seel's face. He kept his arms wrapped around him when he did.

"Can you move? We should head back home."

[dreamsallotted]

Seel didn't want too. He wanted to stay latched on to Cal like he was his fucking lifeline, but this wasn't the best place for it. And he needed to get a hold of himself. He let himself cling to him, letting Cal be strong and put together for a minute more. It had been a while since he felt truly unsafe. The Uigenna, the Unneah. He'd made a name for himself in keeping himself and his hara safe and secure. But they were playing by different rules here.

"Home?" He caught that. We. "You're letting me move back?" All it took was getting murdered.

[pyralisit]

Cal couldn't exactly blame him for clinging, either. He might not have known what dying was like, but he could at least understand that it was traumatic and Seel probably wasn't going to bounce back right away. He deserved a moment to break apart before he pulled himself back together. If nothing else, Cal could make sure that moment stayed private.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight for a long time. That would be hard to do if you didn't."

[dreamsallotted]

He knew it was probably the trauma talking, but he wanted to curl around Cal like a damn security blanket. He knew Cal was not Swift but he was a comfort and the way he was acting now was actually kind. Decent. Empathic. Maybe Hadriel had done him some good.

"Why would you do that?"

Seel had been horrible to him. The obvious answer was that Cal was a better har than Seel as, and forgave more easily. As grateful as he was, as much as he wanted to cling to him and ask 'you promise', part of him couldn't understand why.

"Thank you." It seemed like a small thing to say. What did you say to someone who saw your dead body, came instantly to come get you when you came back and wanted to stay by your side, despite the horrible things you've said to them?

[pyralisit]

"Because one body is more than enough. I'm sure you'd rather this be a private discussion--" or breakdown "--so we should probably move in that direction." And anyone else's opinion be damned. If they were in this much danger, they needed to stick together. And being forced to live separately over some ridiculous disagreement, even if it had been warranted, was, apparently, unsafe.

"You're welcome. Do you think you'll survive the trek in public?" Seel had an image he liked to maintain, after all, even if he needed something else right now.

[knifecollecting]

Jo has always seen marriage as something not to be interfered with. If it wasn't working, then it should be dealt with by both parties, not...ignored. Maybe she was old fashioned.

Seel's next statement distracts her and she looks up at him again.

"What new har?"

[dreamsallotted]

Seel nodded, because he didn't have much of a choice. He closed his eyes, taking a few minutes to center and collect himself for the brief trek. Cal was right. Seel had an image to maintain and he was ever so thankful Cal reminded him of it so he didn't break down here in a public place.

He nodded again, as if hearing Cal's words for the first time. He knew Cal could be sweet. Had he just forgotten?

"Let's go home then. I think as long as we don't stop for groceries I'll be okay." And then, they could have a private talk. And he wouldn't have to pretend anymore.

[dreamsallotted]

She didn't know. No one told her. Figures. Why tell someone who lives in the same house about a crazy new har who killed Seel and was probably flipping out right now. More than he already had been.

The marriage aspect, however, was one thing they agreed on. To Seel, marriage was forever. It was a bond, back in his world a bond made in blood, but it was different take on the same thing. They could be old fashioned together. Course, if they were back in his world, the idea of hara sleeping around wasn't exactly newsworthy. It was natural.

"The one who killed me. Pell and Cal helped him through althaia. I'm not sure what his name is. B. B something. He might come by here. Don't go near him unarmed." Seel certainly wasn't. He still wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of dying and coming back, but at least the breakdown he had with Cal in the privacy of the bedroom wasn't going any further. He could pretend.

[pyralisit]

"I wasn't planning on it," Really, Seel? Cal tried to keep his voice even, at least. He didn't want to make this any worse than it already was. He'd been waiting for days and Pell was probably annoyed with him, not to mention that there was now some idiot who'd gone and gotten himself incepted murdering Seel in the first place.

His whole goddamn life was just moving from one complicated story to the next.

This time he did pull away sine it would be hard to walk with their arms around each other like that, but he grabbed Seel's hand instead. At least they could have some kind of contact.

"Ready?"