hadriel_logs | Event Log: Dreamwalker the Second

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Event Log: Dreamwalker the Second

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for the Dreamwalker part 2 event
Where: In your dreams
When: October 14th-20th (the second log will go up on Oct 23rd, please keep the two weeks of the event separate!)
Warnings: All different kinds of dreams falling under the umbrella of Delight, Rage, Sorrow, and Hope.

This time, the weird stuff doesn't happen when you're awake- as a matter of fact, your waking hours are the normal ones. That's because you're forced to sleep by some unknown entity, getting more and more exhausted by the moment as night falls. Better make sure you're always around a soft pillow.

Once asleep, it doesn't get any less weird- your dreams will be influenced by one of the four gods that make up the first week. Something to make you smile, something to make you angry- or something that reminds you of your deepest regret or most vulnerable hope, they're all things that you're dreaming about now for some reason, no matter how hard you may try to pull away from them.

To make matters more complicated, there are others intruding on your dreams who definitely don't belong there, and while they may seem like manifestations at first, it becomes clear that these others are actually the consciousness of other members of Hadriel, getting some top quality exposure to your angriest, happiest, most sorrowful moments. Hope it doesn't get awkward when you see them tomorrow...

► This log covers October 14th-20th.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you die in dreams you don't die in real life, but if you somehow die in real life anyway, please let us know here.

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Cole had never seen Ostagar before--he hadn't been there and hadn't been able to get there. It was too late now, anyway, and there was nothing but ghosts left. At least in the real world. Usually he could tell dreams but in this pace they were different. There wasn't a Fade so there shouldn't be dreams but there still were. There always were. They made sure of that. Dreams were easy.

Even never having been there, it isn't that hard to tell where it is, what's going on. Even he knows the story. Everyone does. Even the ghosts like him. It would be impossible not to. The repercussions rang and reverberated through the whole world. There were still spirits there singing sadness.

At first he watches--there's nothing he can do to stop it, nothing a single person or even a spirit can do. It's too late to stop any of it and all he can do is pick up the pieces after. If there's anything left. It isn't until he sees the woman charge that he moves, appearing behind her to watch as she kills the monster. He shouldn't take that away from her.

He at least waits until it's dead before he speaks.

"Terror, torn and tearing, toyed and teased and tantalized. That's what they want, the rage. Don't give it to them."

It should be weird that she's on the field of battle instead of where she should be, in the tower. It's also weird that there's someone speaking to her, let alone that she can even hear him over the titanic clash all around them. But unless Cole directly engages, the darkspawn don't seem to even notice him. The same would hold true of Aren, but...well, that ever really a likely scenario for her.

Stabbing it a few extra times just because she can, the blood-splattered dwarf woman frowns as she turns around. That wound she thought healed has been torn open anew, and her hurt and fury has to go somewhere. Given a clearer head, she'll feel bad about it, but...right now, there's only pain masquerading as rage. "The king is dead! Duncan is dead! All because Loghain took his men and left! And I'm just supposed to stand around and watch it happen and...do nothing?"

There are so many darkspawn that need stabbing, so many. And a rapidly dwindling amount of Grey Wardens and common soldiers. This isn't a fight that's winnable by any stretch, no matter what she does.

"No. You should do something." He isn't going to be able to stop her anyway, and the monsters hurt people, even when they aren't real. Are they real? They hurt, and that's real enough. It doesn't matter, really, whether or not its a dream. If it even is. It's hard to tell.

"They want it to hurt so it's angry." He can't even say who he's talking about, but it sounds right. Someone wants something whether it's here or somewhere else. It doesn't matter, really. Either way, they shouldn't have it. He knows that much.

"Well, yeah, it fucking does hurt!" She scowls as she looks back and the scene blurs a little...before the scenario starts to play out again. This isn't something she can just stand and watch, so she tries to rush the ogre...only to face an invisible barrier, that prevents her from saving the king's life.

"So I'm just supposed to watch this over and over again? What the fuck?!?" She lashes out with her blades, but no matter what she do, she can't touch it. Whirling back around, she stares at the figure in the big hat. "What am I supposed to do, then?"

"Remember, maybe. It might always hurt but it hurts less if you try." If they want to try. Thy usually don't at first, sometimes they need help. And it's harder when they're looking right at what hurt them in the first place.

He looks around at the battle surrounding them, only half seeing the fighting. They should all be ghosts but they still torment people. Maybe that's all that ghosts are good for.

"Is this what happened?"

Remember....

Aren clenches her jaw, gripping her blades so tightly that her knuckles turn white. "...sorta. I was in the tower, not the battlefield. We were supposed to light the beacon, so we did. But it made no difference; Loghain left anyway. This place was overrun, and Cailan's corpse was left crucified on the bridge. They left him to rot."

The ogre draws closer to its target, its footsteps making the ground shake. Cailan turns around to face it. Aren growls and swipes again, for all that she might as well be striking air. Run, salroka. Just run. But it's already too late, as she'll witness yet again in a moment.

"Beaten, bruised, broken, burst apart in pieces, souls crushed in deadened dust. Callings and chaos. It isn't easy to remember. But those are important pieces. You shouldn't lose them but you shouldn't lose yourself in them." He isn't looking at her when he says it, but there's too much confusion in the fight around them. He can't make much sense of that either.

"It won't change anymore. You can't change it if it happened."

The ogre lifts up Cailan and roars in his face, causing the king to recoil. Aren can't bring herself to look away the ogre crushes the life out of him again, blood spraying everywhere. Her eyes sting with unshed tears of helpless anger, and she trembles from head to foot, wishing that she could throw herself at the creature and have any effect at all. At least Duncan will kill it soon.

"...so I just have to watch it over and over? If I can't change it, can I make it fucking stop?" She hasn't tried to leave, not when darkspawn are around to kill, but now she wonders if it would have the same effect as attacking the ogre.

"I don't know. Did you try?" He couldn't say what the rules were this time--they changed too often to tell. But there had to be a way to end it, didn't there? It would be cruel otherwise. But maybe that's the point. Some of them are crueler than others. Maybe they want the pain. In which case there's nothing anyone can do but pick up the pieces after.

"It might, but it might not too. It's too loud to see this time."

"Yeah, no shit!" The blasts and clash of steel are overwhelming...and yet they aren't enough to block Cole's voice. His words reach her even as she's forced to witness Duncan using his blades to climb up the ogre.

Aren can't see this again, can't witness Duncan fall...but as she stalks away, the battlefield inevitably draws her back. Trying again, only means she returns in time to see the ogre fall, and Duncan seriously wounded.

"...well, shit."

Of course it wouldn't be that easy. It could never be that easy. There's always some secret that they don't get to know until it's all over and then it would be so obvious it was a wonder they didn't figure it out on their own.

"They like playing, but the playing hurts. They eat our hearts and leave us living to grow them back."

Hot, angry tears trail down her face as Duncan stumbles around, and stares up...at the blazing beacon. "That's a damn accurate way to put it. If they want me to hate them, well, mission fucking accomplished." Kicking her right in her sore spot, one made worse by seeing the event for herself, the fall of the two first men who had ever been kind to her.

She takes a few steps...and everything blurs. When scene clears, they're standing in the hall where the Landsmeet is held. The nobles, and soldiers have cleared the center of the room, leaving that for Loghain...and for the Grey Warden. Alistair, Leliana, and the others observe from the sides as well, their gaze as anxious as Queen Anora's.

"Finally!" Aren narrows her eyes at the man, raising her blades. She wouldn't mind dueling him again.

"It's still the same, even when it's different." It's hard to ignore the hurt when he's so close to it, when she's right there and all she wants to do is feel it. Maybe she thinks it makes her more--maybe it even does. That part he can't tell. But he's seen enough to know that eventually the fire loses its fuel, and then all they're left with is the burns.

"It's finished, dark, dead, and done. Dwelling on dreams doesn't do anything. All you'll get is stuck."

Cole is right, of course. Stuck is exactly what happens. As Loghain waits, sword drawn, Aren charges him...and her blades pass right through. She swipes again, tosses a bomb, uses all those assassin techniques Zevran had taught her and...nothing. He remains standing. She lets out a roar of frustration.

"This isn't what happened! I killed the nug-humping son of a bitch! Why won't he just die?!?"

"Because he already did. You just won't let him." Would he really be here if she'd let it go? Maybe, but that doesn't seem like it would be the point. If it's supposed to hurt, why would they choose something that didn't?

He vanishes for a moment and appears again behind Loghain, watching, listening, his head tilted to one side.

"Why is he still here?"

Aren grits her teeth, her hands still gripping those blade handles tightly. "I only got to kill him once. That wasn't nearly enough." It was the only thing she couldn't budge on during the Landsmeet, with Alistair's support. Loghain had to die, that's all there was to it.

She glares at Loghain, sword and shied drawn, patiently awaiting her next move. "I don't know; I sure as hell didn't invite him! If I can't even touch him, but good is he here??"

"You did, though. Or he wouldn't be here. Why did you call him?" More than just to keep killing him, long after he was already dead. Living underneath the rage and the sorrow because no one knew how to let it go.

"He means something but I can't hear it. What does he mean?"

"I didn't!

...not on purpose." Aren's brow furrows, wondering if she did, all the same. Maybe? Dream rules aren't clear to her, and the fact that she's dreaming at all when it isn't strictly darkspawn-related visions is unnerving.

"He's a fucking traitor, that's what he means. He got Duncan killed, got the king killed, sent assassins after me and the whole damn kingdom almost got swallowed up by the Blight because of him. He has more blood on his hands than even I do."

"No, not that. What does he mean for you? Why is he here?" He was not so good with the words--the Fade was easier. So maybe that was his own fault for not being clearer, but he watches the woman closely, regardless. He can't help but feel like he shouldn't be here, but here he is, and here he can at least try to help.

"Why did you bring him?"

Aren huffs, taking a swipe at Loghain again just because. "Because I hate him! Isn't that enough?" She could list all his crimes again and then some, but something gives her pause and she stares at the kid with the big hat. "Why are you asking all this? Who are you?"

"You should hate him. But it hurts you to hold onto it too tightly." A poison with no easy antidote.

"Because you need to hear it." Because she should work through the problems herself, even if he had to direct the thoughts.

"I used to be Cole. You can call me that if you'd like."

"I don't! ...usually. But I never saw what he actually did, not with my own eyes like that. I only heard about it, until now." Seeing it herself, she could understand just how deep Alistair's own fury went, why he'd wanted to be the one to execute Loghain so badly. (However, he had to marry Anora so she did it instead.)

Her grip on those blades relaxes a little, the volume of her voice lowering just a bit. She still harbors plenty of rage in her, and having an invulnerable Loghain in front of her doesn't help in the slightest. But Cole's confuse her just enough to give pause. "'Used to be'? What's that supposed to mean?"

"He came because you wanted him to. Somewhere. But he's already done. You aren't." She still has a life to live that doesn't need to be colored by hatred.

"I was Cole, but I wasn't, too. You need a name, but I don't. Cole is fine. He won't mind if I'm Cole a while longer." Which both answers the question and doesn't. The words are difficult.

"'He'...right, okay." Yeah, Aren doesn't get it, but something tells her that continuing to ask will just make her more confused. The scene shifts slightly; their surroundings remain, as do the people, but now Anora and Alistair stand together, while Loghain's body is sprawled on the ground. He's been relieved of his head.

"I wanted a chance to save Duncan and Cailan, but I can't even have that." Hmph. She lightly kicks the body with a booted foot, knowing it's petty but not exactly caring. "At least I'm still breathing and he's not, but...fuck it, it's not fair to show me that if I couldn't do anything."

"It isn't always what you want." No one ever got everything they wanted. He knows that well enough. He's seen enough hurting and enough hurting others to have learned that lesson.

"It isn't fair, either. It never is. But it doesn't have to be."

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