Event Log: Dreamwalker the Second

[hadrielmods]

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for the Dreamwalker part 2 event
Where: In your dreams
When: October 14th-20th (the second log will go up on Oct 23rd, please keep the two weeks of the event separate!)
Warnings: All different kinds of dreams falling under the umbrella of Delight, Rage, Sorrow, and Hope.

This time, the weird stuff doesn't happen when you're awake- as a matter of fact, your waking hours are the normal ones. That's because you're forced to sleep by some unknown entity, getting more and more exhausted by the moment as night falls. Better make sure you're always around a soft pillow.

Once asleep, it doesn't get any less weird- your dreams will be influenced by one of the four gods that make up the first week. Something to make you smile, something to make you angry- or something that reminds you of your deepest regret or most vulnerable hope, they're all things that you're dreaming about now for some reason, no matter how hard you may try to pull away from them.

To make matters more complicated, there are others intruding on your dreams who definitely don't belong there, and while they may seem like manifestations at first, it becomes clear that these others are actually the consciousness of other members of Hadriel, getting some top quality exposure to your angriest, happiest, most sorrowful moments. Hope it doesn't get awkward when you see them tomorrow...

► This log covers October 14th-20th.
► Feel free to make your own logs as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you die in dreams you don't die in real life, but if you somehow die in real life anyway, please let us know here.

Comments

[sciencelizard]

[Let your actions be your apology.

She thinks back to the beginning of the year, Chara standing in front of her, intent in their eyes and knife in hand. How all she could think as the blade came down was that this was penance. This would make it better. This sacrifice would fix everything. She could stop begging for forgiveness from everyone who knew her, from everyone who knew this, from the world.

Really, all she had to do was forgive herself. But how else could she have ever made it up to them?

She sniffles again, takes her glasses off her face. Tries to get some of the dust and water off enough so they're not such a mess.]

I've... I've tried to do better, in Hadriel. To try and live when they couldn't. I just don't know if I'll ever be good enough to make up for it.

[She pauses, but doesn't rise from the floor.]

What if I make another mistake? When do I stop getting second chances? When d-do I stop deserving them?

[unknowable]

[He answers carefully.]

I don't think that's something I can say.

[After all, none of things that are weighing on her have affected him in any way. It's entirely possible - even likely - that if someone who was hurt by her was here, they would have a different opinion about all of this. Adam can only try to explain what he thinks, what he feels. He's aware he probably doesn't know the whole story.]

Everyone makes mistakes. I mean, that sounds like a cliche, but it's true. If you're still trying to make up for them - trying to fix the mistakes you make - then I'd say you still deserve second chances. And more.

[He shrugs, a little awkward.]

I just don't think giving up is anything but adding insult to injury. I don't know everything you've done, but - the fact that you're this torn up with guilt over it counts for something. For a lot. Some people hurt other people and never feel guilty at all.

[sciencelizard]

[She listens, quiet, letting his words wash over her. Some people don't ever feel guilty. They keep hurting and hurting and never once do better.

Isn't that what she said to Frisk? That after it all, at least they were trying?

She pulls herself to her feet, and the water that could be heard in the background seems to fade and disappear.]

I thought dying for this would make it better. But it didn't. No... no one even knew t-they were here.

[She wants to reach out and take his hand, take something small and physical, but she's too shy. So she grabs her own hands instead, looking down at her closed palms.]

I wanted to pretend it hadn't happened either. But I... guess I can't. Not if I really want to... I d-dunno. Do good. Be good.

[unknowable]

[Adam isn't very good at physical contact, at showing affection or support that way. He spent most of his life not receiving it, and so didn't really learn how to give it, and it's only recently that that's changed. But it's changed in a very decisive way, and now he knows how much a quiet show of support can mean to someone. He does not quite feel that he can take her hand - it seems intimate, and he doesn't know if she'd welcome it - but he does reach out and place a hand carefully on her shoulder.

It's a careful gesture, one that he thinks about before doing it. This doesn't come naturally to him, but he wishes it did. He hopes it helps, at least, even if only a little.]

I know I'm not in any position to absolve you of guilt, and I wouldn't want to anyway. That's your life and your history, and I don't know much about it. But to me, at least, you seem like you're trying hard to do the right thing. To do good.

[He doesn't know if he's expressing himself well.]

It matters a lot, just seeing that. Just seeing someone trying.

[sciencelizard]

[Alphys spent a long time down here, alone. Sure, she had her computer, her media, her interactions. But none of them knew who she really was, and that was on purpose. There was those quiet affirmations, where she could post anonymously on message boards about having a bad day and someone would try to cheer her up. But physically, she was always alone. Her and the Amalgamates. Her and her guilt.

So the touch is more than welcome. At this point, it's one of the only things that reminds her she's real.]

I guess I'll... try to keep trying, then. It's all I really, uhm, have.

[She unlaces her hands from each other, and gently, reaches over and lays the edge of her claws across his fingers. It's not really a handhold, not even a squeeze. But she's there.]

Thank you.

[unknowable]

[He relaxes just a tiny bit when she touches him, mostly because he was worried he wasn't doing the right thing. He still is worried about that - he doesn't know if what he's said has helped in any way. But she looks... better, maybe, at least in a more stable condition. Which is good.]

You don't need to thank me for anything. I'm just talking as if I know anything about this.

[Adam smiles, also just a tiny bit, self-deprecating.]

But I mean, if there ever is anything I can do to help you, I'll try.

[sciencelizard]

[He did. There's no way she could describe it to him, really, but he did. And she's more grateful than she knows how to say.]

I'll try, too. For you.

Thank you.

[She closes her eyes to smile, and when she opens them again, she's awake, the dream dissipated and over. But for once, she doesn't feel dread. Just contentment as she tries to roll over and go back to sleep.]