pellameno: (not looking at you)
Pell ([personal profile] pellameno) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs2017-10-19 01:13 pm
Entry tags:

[ closed ]

Who: Seel and Pell
What: Pell needs a good whack upside the head, hopefully Seel will oblige.
Where: hara house!
When: 10/19, during dreamwalks
Warnings: possible talk of death, torture, sex.

The dreams have Pell on edge.

His sleep has been suffering already -- kind as Jo is to let him stay in her room, she's not Cal, and they don't cuddle. And lately it seems no sooner than he nods off is he in someone else's head. Their dreams. Watching something horrible, more often than not. He remembers the last time this happened, shortly after he'd arrived in Hadriel, and knows it'll run its course, but for the time being... he's tired.

He tries to keep out of the house during the day, not wanting to face the others but not wanting to hide out in Jo's room all the time either. Sometimes he can be found in the living room, studying. Most of the time he's just out. Right now he's in the kitchen, putting away the produce he'd harvested that morning. Moving stiffly and clumsily.

Someone's footsteps approach and he shakes his head to clear the cobwebs a little. Seel. He can sense it, he doesn't have to turn around to know. And he strongly suspects he's in for a lecture.

"Do we have to do this now?" He sounds whiny, and he knows he does, he just doesn't wanna, Seel. Not even a little.
dreamsallotted: (Official)

[personal profile] dreamsallotted 2017-10-19 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Why did he care? Why didn't he care? Two of his friends (could he call Cal a friend? Seel honestly wasn't sure what Cal was, but for simplicity sake he was calling him a friend at the moment) were hurting.

"You didn't do anything Pell. It's not your fault. Ag, you always did have the weight of the world on your shoulders didn't you? You don't have to make up for anything. He never stopped trying to find you. It just wasn't the right time. Forces greater than you, etc etc." Seel waved a hand.

It wasn't Pell's fault. It was Seel's. And Thiede. Even without Seel playing apart Thiede would have found a way.

"I care before your a friend. Both of you." He might have felt a little green around the edges as he called Cal a friend. "And right now you're acting like strangers. I don't know the whole story, Pell. But it seems like he never stopped looking for you. Turned the whole damn world upside down. And you? You tried. You did the best you could in a bad situation."

Of course if you asked Seel that situation was of Pell's own making. "Avoiding each other is not the answer."
dreamsallotted: (amused 2)

[personal profile] dreamsallotted 2017-10-19 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
It was just like Seel had thought. Pell was worried because Cal had distanced himself from him, that he didn't want that Pell anymore. Cal, you idiot. Looking at Pell, it wasn't hard to see the scared human boy who Cal had just kidnapped away and spirited to Saltrock. Wondering if he'd done the right thing, or if he'd made a horrible, horrible mistake, fighting against forces he couldn't possibly control.

"You have limits Pell. You're not a god. You're a figurehead. There's only so much you can do with a million eyes looking your way. And only so much you can do against a force like Thiede. He wanted to keep you two apart. You couldn't do anything against that, just like you couldn't have stopped that bullet."

Seel paced, walking back and forth while he talked to Pell. "Swift and I were strangers when we first met. You and Cal have more of a foundation. He wants you Pell. Any you. You both are just too afraid to do anything about it."
Edited (spelling i can) 2017-10-19 19:12 (UTC)
dreamsallotted: (huh you think?)

[personal profile] dreamsallotted 2017-10-19 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
"So I've heard."

It's good that Pell admits it though. He didn't want to have to fish it out of him.

"You realize that's not true, right? He's still Cal. Everyhar changes. Everyhar grows ups. I'm not the same har you met in Saltrock, but I'm still Seel. Don't take these changes out on him, Pellaz. Get to know him again. Be grateful he's well. He hasn't been for a long time. Since before you knew him."

Seel stops himself, realizing he's treating Pell like a harling, but, that's what you got when you started to act like one.

"Besides, when was the last time you two rooned. Break down those barriers. It will help."
dreamsallotted: (stare)

[personal profile] dreamsallotted 2017-10-19 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
"That's right." Good, Pell had figured it out. And Seel for one didn't want to live with the two of them avoiding eachother another day. It was deeply unhealthy, especially given that the gods here made aruna unnecessary for survival. It was helpful when Pell had been alone. But together, it was a hindrance. Aruna was necessary because of the closeness it brought them, on multiple levels. Being able to go without it was dangerous.

"He's as afraid as you are. Staying away to avoid hurting you, afraid that you don't want him, that he's too different. It might be weird. I'm not sure how I'd react to seeing a younger or older Swift." Although a younger Swift would be awkward as they met when he was barely out of feybraiha. "But it would still be Swift." He shook his head. "I didn't think you were one to give in to fear, Pellaz."
dreamsallotted: (so much better than you)

[personal profile] dreamsallotted 2017-10-29 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
"Of course I'm right. I've known you for fourty years, Pell, Cal for fifty five. You still have Cal. I think that's the one thing you can always count on. And Cal loves you. Even right now, his avoidance of you is a form of love. The kind of love you two have, it doesn't just go away because someone grows up or changes."

Seel watched as Pell pulled at his hair and fidgited. He was so young. seel's Pell had learned to mask his signs of weakness. It was weird, refreshing, but weird. He wasn't sure he liked it or not. It was a reminder that this Pell was still so young.

"You can if you try. If you don't try, nothing can change, and you don't want that." Seel chose not to address Pell's 'rebuild here' notion. If nothing else, Cal returning and coming back showed him that things couldn't be change. But Pell was free to think that if he wanted too. If it made him feel better.

For now.