(open) i will never find a way to heal my soul

[puzzlingly]

Who: Atem and peeps. Open mostly, specially to anyone in the in the clinic.
What: Atem finally comes to after being attacked by Yukari, spends some time at the clinic being a massive grump, then goes home to grump a little more.
Where: Clinic / house 6-1
When: November 3rd- 14th
Warnings: Mentions of stitches and wounds ew, torture and blood. Other possible warnings in comments.


november 3rd | clinic | open to one trafalgar law

「He wakes. He wakes and all his being pushes him to scream, it is not possible for someone to withstand so much pain, so much cold. But he does not utter a sound. His body shivers from the cold, and he frantically looks around trying to get his bearings, trying to locate him, Yukari. He doesn't remember anything, just pain, and so much red, and the need to hurt that man as much as he possibly could, to stop him from going after someone else, then nothing, just nothing. He tries to sit up, failing completely, the ache down his chest forcing him to fall back onto the mattress and finally making him blurt out a pained cry.

It's been so long since he's felt this torment, this body is was not designed to endure so much punishment, it was a temporal vessel for his wandering soul. Why must he go through it all over again? Wasn't he done? Wasn't his time up? Why have they abandoned here...? Was he never good enough to move on, to go back home? -- Why is he here?!

Please end it, anyone, please just, end him.」

november 3rd - 12th | clinic | ota

「He should probably be sleeping instead of forcing himself to stay awake and even more so, forcing his dominant hand to play chess on his phone, or even to reply a few messages. Hell, he can barely hold the stupid phone, but he needs the distraction. Every time he goes to sleep, he sees his face, and then he remembers how stupid he was to give his trust away, again.

Meh, just meh...」

november 13rd - 14th | imported house 6-1 | open to bakura and anyone who asks idk (someone bring food to this child omg)

「Not being able to stay at the clinic any longer, because it is so damn depressing, Atem finally convinces them to let him go home, under the solemn promise that he would not do anything stupid. Like going outside and look for Yukari.

Being drained from the past days, he often finds himself simply sleeping, indulging into tiredness and allowing his vessel to regain its strength (not that he has many options controlling that...). But more than once, he finds himself bored to death and trying to get a hold of his cards, he can't. Having sliced through his fingers, trying to avoid Yukari's blade to go any further into his shoulder has made it impossible for now. It is so frustrating, so painful! 」

Dammit!

「It wouldn't be the first nor the last time during these days that he's absolutely tempted to toss his deck of cards to a close wall due sheer resentment, but he doesn't... Picking them up would be yet another pain in the ass.」

Comments

[lifetothefullest]

[Wow, even ruder, although Lance is more focused on being torn between wincing in sympathy and being pleased that Atem is genuinely laughing. He definitely understands the pain of trying to laugh--or move, or breath, or do anything else--with chest injuries, so he's empathetic to Atem's plight.]

I think you missed the part where I said I wasn't, therefore automatically absolving myself.

[But more seriously--]

I hate to say it, but it's probably going to suck for awhile. I should probably let you rest more, though; that'll help, good rest or not.

[puzzlingly]

No, I heard you, I think you're just being denial.

「He gives him a half nod. Lance is probably right, though, it's a shame because he was now enjoying the conversation. He, as much as he wanted to push people so they wouldn't worry, dearly appreciates having someone he likes around, it helps with everything.

Look who is the hypocrite now.」

I figured. You should probably do the same.

「A beat, and in a bit of a more serious note of his own.」

You do have someone you trust, don't you, Lance?

[lifetothefullest]

[Lance makes an exaggerated and purposeful face that's clearly 'you're wrong and it's absurd to even suggest that' at Atem's first comment, but then smiles a little and much more genuinely at his next. He's enjoying the conversation too, now that the tension has faded, but although leaving the discussion on a good note is definitely the best way to do so it still doesn't undo the more emotionally stressful earlier part of the conversation. And Atem's right that Lance can use the rest himself too, both mentally and physically.]

I will. I'll be around, though; I practically live here now.

[It's... Sort of a joke, at least? But he has been spending the cast majority of his time at the Clinic recently, with everything going on.

The last question isn't one he's expecting, and it briefly shows on his face, but although when he smiles again it's more subdued it's also still genuine.]

I do now, yes. Thank you.

[For caring at all, let alone enough to ask.]

[puzzlingly]

「Now, that's the Lance he wants to know more of, not that other guy who is all work and no fun.」

You and me both.

「And he returns the smile with a tired one of his own.」

Keep them close.