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hadriel_logs2017-11-03 09:25 am
puzzlingly) wrote in hadriel_logs2017-11-03 09:25 am
Entry tags:
(open) i will never find a way to heal my soul
Who: Atem and peeps. Open mostly, specially to anyone in the in the clinic.
What: Atem finally comes to after being attacked by Yukari, spends some time at the clinic being a massive grump, then goes home to grump a little more.
Where: Clinic / house 6-1
When: November 3rd- 14th
Warnings: Mentions of stitches and wounds ew, torture and blood. Other possible warnings in comments.
november 3rd | clinic | open to one trafalgar law
「He wakes. He wakes and all his being pushes him to scream, it is not possible for someone to withstand so much pain, so much cold. But he does not utter a sound. His body shivers from the cold, and he frantically looks around trying to get his bearings, trying to locate him, Yukari. He doesn't remember anything, just pain, and so much red, and the need to hurt that man as much as he possibly could, to stop him from going after someone else, then nothing, just nothing. He tries to sit up, failing completely, the ache down his chest forcing him to fall back onto the mattress and finally making him blurt out a pained cry.
It's been so long since he's felt this torment, this body is was not designed to endure so much punishment, it was a temporal vessel for his wandering soul. Why must he go through it all over again? Wasn't he done? Wasn't his time up? Why have they abandoned here...? Was he never good enough to move on, to go back home? -- Why is he here?!
Please end it, anyone, please just, end him.」
november 3rd - 12th | clinic | ota
「He should probably be sleeping instead of forcing himself to stay awake and even more so, forcing his dominant hand to play chess on his phone, or even to reply a few messages. Hell, he can barely hold the stupid phone, but he needs the distraction. Every time he goes to sleep, he sees his face, and then he remembers how stupid he was to give his trust away, again.
Meh, just meh...」
november 13rd - 14th | imported house 6-1 | open to bakura and anyone who asks idk (someone bring food to this child omg)
「Not being able to stay at the clinic any longer, because it is so damn depressing, Atem finally convinces them to let him go home, under the solemn promise that he would not do anything stupid. Like going outside and look for Yukari.
Being drained from the past days, he often finds himself simply sleeping, indulging into tiredness and allowing his vessel to regain its strength (not that he has many options controlling that...). But more than once, he finds himself bored to death and trying to get a hold of his cards, he can't. Having sliced through his fingers, trying to avoid Yukari's blade to go any further into his shoulder has made it impossible for now. It is so frustrating, so painful! 」
Dammit!
「It wouldn't be the first nor the last time during these days that he's absolutely tempted to toss his deck of cards to a close wall due sheer resentment, but he doesn't... Picking them up would be yet another pain in the ass.」
What: Atem finally comes to after being attacked by Yukari, spends some time at the clinic being a massive grump, then goes home to grump a little more.
Where: Clinic / house 6-1
When: November 3rd- 14th
Warnings: Mentions of stitches and wounds ew, torture and blood. Other possible warnings in comments.
november 3rd | clinic | open to one trafalgar law
「He wakes. He wakes and all his being pushes him to scream, it is not possible for someone to withstand so much pain, so much cold. But he does not utter a sound. His body shivers from the cold, and he frantically looks around trying to get his bearings, trying to locate him, Yukari. He doesn't remember anything, just pain, and so much red, and the need to hurt that man as much as he possibly could, to stop him from going after someone else, then nothing, just nothing. He tries to sit up, failing completely, the ache down his chest forcing him to fall back onto the mattress and finally making him blurt out a pained cry.
It's been so long since he's felt this torment, this body is was not designed to endure so much punishment, it was a temporal vessel for his wandering soul. Why must he go through it all over again? Wasn't he done? Wasn't his time up? Why have they abandoned here...? Was he never good enough to move on, to go back home? -- Why is he here?!
Please end it, anyone, please just, end him.」
november 3rd - 12th | clinic | ota
「He should probably be sleeping instead of forcing himself to stay awake and even more so, forcing his dominant hand to play chess on his phone, or even to reply a few messages. Hell, he can barely hold the stupid phone, but he needs the distraction. Every time he goes to sleep, he sees his face, and then he remembers how stupid he was to give his trust away, again.
Meh, just meh...」
november 13rd - 14th | imported house 6-1 | open to bakura and anyone who asks idk (someone bring food to this child omg)
「Not being able to stay at the clinic any longer, because it is so damn depressing, Atem finally convinces them to let him go home, under the solemn promise that he would not do anything stupid. Like going outside and look for Yukari.
Being drained from the past days, he often finds himself simply sleeping, indulging into tiredness and allowing his vessel to regain its strength (not that he has many options controlling that...). But more than once, he finds himself bored to death and trying to get a hold of his cards, he can't. Having sliced through his fingers, trying to avoid Yukari's blade to go any further into his shoulder has made it impossible for now. It is so frustrating, so painful! 」
Dammit!
「It wouldn't be the first nor the last time during these days that he's absolutely tempted to toss his deck of cards to a close wall due sheer resentment, but he doesn't... Picking them up would be yet another pain in the ass.」
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Atem mutters a thank you after Bakura is done, it might not be effusive but it sounds rather honest. Then, he reaches for his deck and the shirt, he puts it on with some effort but it's nothing too terrible. He doesn't shuffle his deck, he's shuffled it enough over the past days, but at least finding slightly easier to move his hand after it's been warmed enough from the cup. He still will not force it much.」
You ready?
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If you think you can stay awake through the whole match.
[After all, Atem looks tired. Not that the Ring Spirit particularly cares, to be honest. It's not like the game is going to mean anything, not really, and at least it's gotten the Pharaoh out of bed and moving around, which is much better than having him laying around moping and feeling sorry for himself. Bakura never allowed that in Ryou, and he's not going to allow it of his current housemate either. He has no patience for it.]
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Shut up, just start.
「He says as he gets a hand of cards.
and just assume things pleaseBefore they get too far into things, Atem mutters again.」Did you find anything else about the Null?
「Yes, he's bringing that conversation back, it's been a while. It also screams, yes, I'm ready to work with you...」
no subject
He hums quietly at the question, setting two cards face down and ending his turn. He could be snide and dismissive, but decides against it. With his luck it would send Atem back into his self pity cycle, and he doesn't want to deal with that.]
Not as much as I'd like. They're very closed-lipped, which doesn't surprise me but does make information gathering hard.
[He'd probably have to really cooperate with them to learn more, and Bakura's not going to enter a deal like that until he has more information on the other party. He'd already bargained his soul away once; he's not necessarily ready to do it again.]
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What about the idea you had? Is it feasible?
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[Bakura's deck has always relied on taking damage and making sacrifices for its success; he summons Dark Necrofear to the field by doing exactly that. He knows that Atem is likely to be expecting the Destiny Board gambit as well and while he does have the cards in his deck, he's not planning on using them in this duel. But what does surprise him is that he's actually enjoying himself.]
According to the Null, brain dead still counts as dead, and though they didn't say as much, I got the impression that they'd be somehow checking or inspecting the body. By removing the soul, the body is brain dead. So yes, it would work.
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Do you want to try it?
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[He props one elbow on the table, regarding his opponent carefully and trying to decide his next move — both in the card game and in the conversation.]
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「Just forgot how it felt. Quite literally. And even if the idea behind it is tempting, it is not his main goal...」
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[That means that he doesn't quite believe Atem — not completely, at any rate. He probably never will, either. There's too many years of mistrust between them to be so simply overcome and even though he'd originally broached the idea of working together, he's under no illusion that it will in any way be easy or pleasant.]
Then what are you after? I told you, it's no fun if you just let me pull your soul out of your body.
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You don't have to believe me, even if it was mostly you who has made me bleed the most. 「Until Yukari happened. He's too tired to care about censoring these details to him.」
The godkiller.
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[It's a vicious statement and perhaps even a little unfair, but Bakura cares little enough about that. To have Atem suddenly want to cooperate raises enough suspicion even though Bakura had been the one to initially broach the idea.]
I'd argue that outside help or a weapon isn't needed to kill these so-called gods. I would test Diabound against any one of them. But the energies needed for a Shadow Game here are tremendous, and I don't know how much of that is due to this not being our home. [He pauses carefully, considering.] There's too little information about this so-called godkiller: what it is, how it works, and how it could be turned against us. It may be a trap even more than it's a weapon.
[He sighs after a moment, quietly.] The Null are creatures of technology, yes? Too bad the Door hasn't brought Kaiba here; he'd be useful.
no subject
Still, Atem listens (idly) at what Bakura has to say as he stares at his cards, accepting that, he might be right. He, (idly, again) wonders how it would have been if Bakura had been a friend instead of an enemy, he was, is, incredibly resourceful, a good strategist, a smart guy, dedicated... Egypt could have flourished into a golden age with his advice...
Gods, he's so tired he's imagining alternate realities, wow.
Atem stirs from his stupor once he catches that name... He perks up a little, even. Good to know he hasn't been the only one who's thought the very same.」
I'd rather not have more people I know coming here. But... yeah, he would have been...
no subject
You're tired. [It's stated flatly, and not as a question. Atem is clearly struggling to stay awake and focused on their game, and he supposes that all the activity really has worn down the Pharaoh, considering it's the most he's tried to do since the injury.] We should shelve this conversation until later.
no subject
HAHAHA... He's tired alright.」
Hmm, are you afraid I kick your ass?
no subject
But Bakura lays down his hand, standing and moving over to the stove to heat the kettle once more. A cup of tea is appealing, and he's sure that Atem's has gone cold by now as well. Not that he cares, but he knows the heat of the mug is good for the hand injury, and he'll not be accused of being detrimental to Atem's recovery.]
Seriously, just take a look at yourself.
no subject
Yeah, I have, and I'm not dying, sorry to disappoint you. Keep playing, Bakura.
「He makes his move, and waits for Bakura to come back meanwhile he leans on the chair's back. It is a mistake, he can feel himself fading fast and nearly unable to keep his eyes open.」
no subject
You're not, and more's the pity. Figures that you'd be the equivalent of a cockroach: impossible.
[But here's a fresh pot of tea poured into two mugs and really Pharaoh have you even looked at yourself? Falling asleep in the chair, looking a mess of bandages. Bakura laughs and thumps the teapot down on the table a little louder than necessary, just to see if Atem jumps from the noise.
He picks up his hand again and sets two cards face down.]
So. You're after the godkiller. Why?
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The noise and the laugh make him jump alright, he blinks rapidly, bringing whatever hand he can to his face, rubbing his eyes.」
Why not? I'd like to have some advantage over them.
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[A satisfied smirk crosses Bakura's face as Atem jumps. He settles himself back into his set, hands curled around the warm porcelain of the mug. It's amusing to see Atem fighting a losing battle to his own tiredness while stubbornly refusing to admit it, and he's going to count it as a victory for himself.
Hell, getting Atem up and out of bed was a victory.]
Look at it this way: they're not our allies. Yet they've got something that's powerful enough to take out one of these fake gods, their enemies, and they're not just using it directly? There's some kind of trick involved, and they're looking for someone stupid enough to be the canon fodder.
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Have you always been this eloquent?
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[Really, they haven't talked much outside of games — either here or back home. Why should they? They're not friends, and even Ryou had always been on the fringes of Yugi's friend group: sometimes included, sometimes not. And Bakura truly doubts that Atem would have honestly listened to what he had to say anyway. Even now it surprises him that Atem's listening to his words and ideas and not just dismissing the sound of his voice, and he chalks it up to the exhaustion from the injuries.]
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「Yes, no? Kind of? Gods know he tried once, but it was too late.」
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[It's the same attitude that had shut down his first attempt to have a conversation with Atem about the Null. People don't change overnight and Bakura attributes Atem's lassitude now more to pain and exhaustion than any desire to actually treat him as anything other than an enemy.]
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「Honestly? Bakura is reading him like an open book, not that Atem hasn't ever been anything but. This is who he is, he's not making any special effort to bother Bakura, he's too tired for that, maybe only his primal walls acting up against someone who's always be seen as the enemy, indeed.」
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