(open) i will never find a way to heal my soul

[puzzlingly]

Who: Atem and peeps. Open mostly, specially to anyone in the in the clinic.
What: Atem finally comes to after being attacked by Yukari, spends some time at the clinic being a massive grump, then goes home to grump a little more.
Where: Clinic / house 6-1
When: November 3rd- 14th
Warnings: Mentions of stitches and wounds ew, torture and blood. Other possible warnings in comments.


november 3rd | clinic | open to one trafalgar law

「He wakes. He wakes and all his being pushes him to scream, it is not possible for someone to withstand so much pain, so much cold. But he does not utter a sound. His body shivers from the cold, and he frantically looks around trying to get his bearings, trying to locate him, Yukari. He doesn't remember anything, just pain, and so much red, and the need to hurt that man as much as he possibly could, to stop him from going after someone else, then nothing, just nothing. He tries to sit up, failing completely, the ache down his chest forcing him to fall back onto the mattress and finally making him blurt out a pained cry.

It's been so long since he's felt this torment, this body is was not designed to endure so much punishment, it was a temporal vessel for his wandering soul. Why must he go through it all over again? Wasn't he done? Wasn't his time up? Why have they abandoned here...? Was he never good enough to move on, to go back home? -- Why is he here?!

Please end it, anyone, please just, end him.」

november 3rd - 12th | clinic | ota

「He should probably be sleeping instead of forcing himself to stay awake and even more so, forcing his dominant hand to play chess on his phone, or even to reply a few messages. Hell, he can barely hold the stupid phone, but he needs the distraction. Every time he goes to sleep, he sees his face, and then he remembers how stupid he was to give his trust away, again.

Meh, just meh...」

november 13rd - 14th | imported house 6-1 | open to bakura and anyone who asks idk (someone bring food to this child omg)

「Not being able to stay at the clinic any longer, because it is so damn depressing, Atem finally convinces them to let him go home, under the solemn promise that he would not do anything stupid. Like going outside and look for Yukari.

Being drained from the past days, he often finds himself simply sleeping, indulging into tiredness and allowing his vessel to regain its strength (not that he has many options controlling that...). But more than once, he finds himself bored to death and trying to get a hold of his cards, he can't. Having sliced through his fingers, trying to avoid Yukari's blade to go any further into his shoulder has made it impossible for now. It is so frustrating, so painful! 」

Dammit!

「It wouldn't be the first nor the last time during these days that he's absolutely tempted to toss his deck of cards to a close wall due sheer resentment, but he doesn't... Picking them up would be yet another pain in the ass.」

Comments

[puzzlingly]

「It's been awhile since he's heard that tone. It makes Atem look up at Akira, his mind not quite there as he thinks of his friend Jounouchi, always being one of the few that would confront him when being an idiot, when he would be feeling sorry about himself. Not that Atem would accept he is being one in the open.

That goofy grin though, Atem reciprocates it.」

I will be fine.

「Physically.」

Thank you, Akira-kun.

[jocoeur]

( there's a nod. akira, too, is sure that atem will probably be fine... physically. but just laying around in bed all day, that wasn't what healed the soul. what he may need is... )

So... have time for a game, then? Or did you have other big plans for the day? ( he's kidding. like he would let you go anywhere after seeing you like this. )

[puzzlingly]

「Well, if Akira wanted to make him smile a little wider, that's exactly what he should have said from the start.」

Umm... I think I can always find some space in my busy agenda for you—But I'm afraid I don't have my cards with me.

「Unfortunately or fortunately, he is still not sure.」

[jocoeur]

Well in that case... ( he takes a look around, as though to make sure no one else is listening. satisfied, he leans in towards his now co-conspirator, looking rather serious and dropping the volume in his voice as he suggests... )

Why don't we talk... strategy, instead? ( yes, he means duel monsters strategy.
yes, he is a nerd. )

[puzzlingly]

... I don't think you'd be able to keep up with me, my friend.

「Not trying to discourage him, just... he's a bigger nerd. But he can already tell a lot from the little he's spoken to him.」

I know little about you—there is no better way to learn about someone through a duel, their weaknesses and their strengths,
what drives them—you've shown me you've got the heart of a true duelist, I can also tell you're dedicated and loyal, but why don't you tell more?

[jocoeur]

Atem-kun, you wound me.

( see? he's clutching at his shirt and everything with the false dramatics. more than offended though, that comment will probably just make him more determined.

relaxing his pose, he leans back a little on the bed though, considering the king's words. )

Hmm. ( he adjusts his glasses at the side, pushing up on one of the arms. could he really tell those things through the duel they'd had? he wondered if hifumi had felt the same way when they played shogi... )

Wouldn't it be boring to hear about a high schooler? ( of course, he's anything but a normal one. )

[puzzlingly]

「He gives a little chuckle at that — Akira definitely has so much potential.」

Hey, I was a high schooler for a while.

「Hah, bet you didn't know that!」

I can't believe what I'm saying it but I kind of miss it now...

[jocoeur]

Oh? So even the king of games was subjected to the high school life, hm? that hand that adjusted his specs moves downward just slightly to pinch at his chin, chuckling in kind. )

Funny how easy a simple high school life seems once you get wrapped up into all this, isn't it?

[puzzlingly]

「HAHA EASY? sure between punishing bullies and math classes... Yeah, he misses that kind of easy!」

Yeah. We used to stay after classes to play, it was fun. Once, Jounouchi-kun--「He stops abruptly. Oh no... he did not expect to be caught remembering his friends, oosp.」 Hmm... well, he... got too enthusiastic in a quick duel between classes and the professor confiscated our decks. That sort of thing.

[jocoeur]

( tilting his head with interest as atem paused, akira listened intently to the story, having to chortle at the thought of a teacher taking away two students' desks just for playing a card game.

he had to suppose... there were shitty teachers in all sorts of different worlds. funny of some things stayed the same... )

At least you had your friend to suffer through the punishment together, right? Heh.

[puzzlingly]

Heh, yeah. I had great friends then. 「Wait, that sounds wrong, he does now too, right? It's not the same, he knows it, but he's got friends here too.」 What about you?

[jocoeur]

( although akira picks up on that wording... he doesn't press the issue. he, too, knew it could be different... difficult, to adjust to this place without your trusted comrades. your friends from home. )

Hnhm. ( it's a chuckle, as he seems to reminisce. ) It was the same for me. Maybe not with card games but— my friends and I found ourselves on the teachers' black list quite a few times. Even the student council president was on our tail for awhile. ( before she joined them, at least. ) Even the principal. ( before he... well... )

But none of it was so bad, since... we were always in it alongside each other. ( and there's a pause— ) Actually before Ryuji... I don't think anyone even wanted to take a chance talking to me, let alone be seen with me.

[puzzlingly]

「Hmm, that sounds a little familiar. Is it how it it all the time for high schoolers?」

What changed?

「He's truly curious, since, apparently, things changed for Yugi when he came around. He claims that he didn't have friends and it was his wish to the Millennium Puzzle, but Atem knew it wasn't such, all that Yugi needed was a little push, not some ancient magic what made him make friends.」

[jocoeur]

Changed? Well... ( he considers it— ) Nothing, really. I think I just realized... I didn't care what everyone else thought about me. It didn't matter what they whispered behind my back or even said to my face because...

If even one person could see through all that, and give me a chance— that was all I needed. ( and akira closes his eyes to smile at that, his simple truth. ) Ryuji had a bad reputation with the teachers too so, I guess you could say... from the first day I transferred to Shujin before we even knew it, we were in it together.

[puzzlingly]

「The smile is a little contagious. Atem doesn't smile at him, more than, for him. That's a great story.」

I'm glad for you, Akira.

「For finding a friend, for being himself and stop caring what others said.」

[jocoeur]

( when he opens his eyes again, he tops it off with a wink. )

Not to mention, when most of the other students are afraid of you, you can use that to your advantage too, right? Sort of like, making use of the cards in your hand, instead of all the ones you wished for instead.

[puzzlingly]

「Why would anyone be afraid of this sweet kid...?」

Don't tell me you're some kind of bully. I would have to punish you for your deeds.

「He's not even kidding.」

[jocoeur]

That's right. The worst kind, too.

( what? akira...
he pushes his glasses up on his nose, so that the reflection of the light hides his eyes.
is he... telling the truth? )

The kind... that punishes the bullies.

[puzzlingly]

「If it is a joke or not, it doesn't stop him from laughing, some would agree thay laugher heals or something, not so much in this case. It hurts quite a bit to do so, eh, what you gonna do.」

Is that so?

[jocoeur]

Of course.

( as he leans back again, the glare subsides, revealing a smile that makes it way up to brighten the grey of them. sorry if it hurts atem, but he's happy to see you laugh. ) But I should leave you be now. After all, you let me rest when our positions were reversed.

( with that, he lifts himself from the bed, placing his hands in his pockets full of the supplies he had come here for in the first place. )

But I hope.. the next time we meet, it isn't in this place again, all right?

[puzzlingly]

I will try, friend.

「To rest, not to be so damn gullible again, and definitely not be around the clinic anytime soon.」

Thanks, Akira.

「Just for sticking around for a while, it brightened his day.」