hadriel_logs | I think I'll stay here

Entry tags:

I think I'll stay here

Who: Gansey (

mintly), Ronan (

greywaren), Adam (

unknowable), Noah (

casperdisaster), and whoever else!
What: Claiming a house, getting settled in, oh god why are we here
Where: House 1303
When: 10/10-ish
Warnings: Confused teenagers, mental trauma, Ronan's dirty mouth

[It's not the first time they've been pulled into an unwelcoming, dangerous land, so maybe it's easier for these boys to acclimate. Anyway, no one's been eaten by a bear, and they've managed to both find each other and find a house to live in. There might be no food or electricity, but there'll be a roof over their heads, and that's something.

They still need to explore a bit, settle in, claim rooms, and take care of cuts and bruises caused by their unfortunate arrival (and bears, and little girls with swords), but at least now they've got a home base to do it in.

The Raven boys can be found at 1303 in the first spiral of houses. If you would like to drop by and say hello or interact with Gansey, Ronan, Adam, or Noah, feel free to tag in!]

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Well.

[Ronan sighs and tosses his jacket onto a nearby spiraled countertop, taking the opportunity to stretch his shoulders a little as they file into the house to check it out. It doesn't work quite as well as he'd hoped- the stab wound from earlier cracks and Ronan winces, but otherwise ignores the dried blood on his chest as he surveys the apartment. It seems safe enough- no collapsed structures, plenty of rooms, surrounded by enough of the other houses not to be a lone target. The door locks, the space is dusty from disuse and it seems at least adequately furnished. What more could they ask for?

He glances back toward the others as Chainsaw finds a perch on a chair in the living room, making eye-contact with Gansey and nodding toward the spiral staircase toward the end of the room. Multiple floors, also a good thing.]

Monmouth, take three? I mean, we're never going back to the first one, and apparently the line on the second hates us so much that it spit us into another reality.

[He shrugs, tests the give of one of the kitchen cabinets with his foot, listening to the creak of wood as he applies a little pressure.]

And free for the taking, too. What a fucking bargain.

Edited 2015-10-13 03:52 (UTC)

[He follows Ronan into the house, looking around himself. Observant as ever, Adam does not miss Ronan's wince, but he briefly sets that aside to make sure there's nothing overly strange here. No threats, that is.

It isn't like anything at home, or even where they were before, but there's furniture and quite a few rooms and another floor. The kitchen is decently outfitted too, though at a glance he can't really be sure what the appliances do. Without power, it doesn't really matter. That's something they can worry about later. Right now, shelter is the most important thing, then food and water.]

It's better than nothing. At least we'll have a roof over our heads.

[And for now, that's the most ringing endorsement Adam can give. He looks over at Gansey and Noah.]

If you're both all right with it, we can choose rooms.

[He looks at Ronan then, direct.]

What happened to you?

[Noah sort of trails in after the others, pacing the rooms as he looks at everything curiously, the soft curves of the walls instead of the square or rectangular rooms he's more used to. Everything here seems built on curves and more 'nature' shapes though, like they grew rather than being built. He traces a hand along a wall, following the others into the kitchen at a sedate pace.]

This is good. I like this one.

[It's wedged more or less nicely between other houses which makes Noah feel a little safer, even if looking out at the wide roads that lead to the housing spirals make him long for his car again.

He doesn't say anything about the blood on Ronan's shirt, but he does give a sigh and a worried look. Adam and Gansey will cover the fussing.]

Could you be just slightly less negative, Ronan? We have things to do back at the first one.

[gansey just looks disquieted, agreeing with adam's judgment that at least it was a roof over their heads, even if it felt a bit like being inside a seashell. he watches noah examine the wall for a moment before his gaze sets back on ronan.]

We're sheltered, at least. And what did happen to you, Lynch? Must you introduce yourself to every new location by bleeding on it?

[the words are peevish, but the tone is just concerned.]

[Ronan shrugs, even if it causes him a little pain to do so. He hadn't exactly wanted everyone to start fawning over his injuries, but better here than on the road somewhere. He's in the process of checking out the doors, shoving them open forcefully on the off-chance that there's something inside that needs to be startled before it can be a threat.

The first two are empty bedrooms that look out on the same balcony. Hm.]

Got in a fight. It's not a big deal.

[It isn't, probably, and he's dismissive as he searches through the rest of the bottom floor. Laundry room. Bathroom. Nothing too bad.

He glances sharply back toward Gansey, even so. Slightly less negative is not something that really exists in Ronan's demeanor. He's not... openly challenging Gansey, so much as he is just arguing, hot under the collar and frustrated, like he has been since his arrival here.]

We're not going back. [It's heavy, final.] You know that.

We don't know anything.

[He says it with some steady certainty. Really, Adam isn't so sure that Ronan is wrong. Whatever they did to the ley line - they probably shouldn't have. Adam knows that realistically he had no actual choice, he knows that when he has to do something that saying no doesn't get him anywhere. He's Cabeswater's tool. Good judgement on the subject of meddling with sinister ley lines doesn't come into the job description anywhere.

But he's not ready to admit outright that there's no way back, even if he's not sure there is. And certainly Gansey, of all people, deserves to have some hope that they'll get home.]

We don't even know where we are. It's a little early to be deciding we're stuck forever. Now sit down and let me look at your shoulder.

[He shrugs the bag off his shoulder, looks at Noah and then at Gansey.]

At least it looks like there might be enough rooms for all of us.

[Noah watches the exchange like a tennis match. It hadn't actually occurred to him until Ronan says it that there might be no going home now. Ronan isn't always right but he doesn't say things he doesn't believe, and thinking it over...

It wasn't like they were pulled from home to here. They were pulled from home to the train then from Harborview to here. Would whatever power that brought them here even know how to get them home, or are they now lost like the main characters of Sliders, stuck in random world roulettes trying to find their home by chance?

He looks up when Adam addresses him and Gansey. He doesn't want to get in the way.]

... I'll look upstairs.

[If the downstairs is empty, the upstairs probably is too, right? Noah heads to the stairs with that.]

[gansey gives ronan a glare that would be poisonous if it wasn't exhausted.]

I don't know anything of the sort. But I find it difficult to believe that Cabeswater would abandon its two darlings...wherever we are...on a permanent basis.

[he watches noah go, torn between the need to know what was wrong with one of his best friends, comforting the second, and helping the third with his likely-to-be-difficult patient. this is all his fault. instead of doing anything at all he sighs and sits on the table, legs swinging in a manner that manages somehow to be quite agitated. he rubs at one of his ears, the motion practically a tic at this point.]

[Ronan turns toward Gansey and now his expression turns challenging, his shoulders tense and fists tight as he watches him. Adam's request echoes in his head and he snarls as he strips off his shirt angrily in short, jerky movements. It's easy to see where the wound is- a small incision on his right pectoral, a little below his collarbone. It's dark with blood, and there are streaks of it over his skin and sticking to his shirt from where he just let it sit while he dealt with more important things.

Like this though, shirt off, bloodstreaked, he looks almost more animal than human and he rounds on Gansey like a predator, his eyes dark with frustration and fury. He'd been doing well enough to keep it under lock and key until now, but Ronan's boiling point is notoriously low and he can't stave off his anger anymore, not when Gansey seems to be deliberately needling him.

His tattoo is dark and sharp against his skin, the very image of rage. He doesn't yell- he can't yell at Gansey- but it's a near thing.]

You think Cabeswater is stronger than the line that can bend reality?

[He lifts his arm, motioning wildly toward the house around him. The cut squeezes and trickles out a fresh droplet of blood.]

If Cabeswater wanted us, it would have saved us last time. It would be saving us now. Either it's not strong enough to bring us home or it wrote us off. [He lets his arm drop after the display and gives a soft scoff, his voice lowering a little.] Fuck it. We're two worlds away with no way home.

[He watches Ronan turn on Gansey as if it's somehow Gansey's fault, as if he was the one who caused this, who brought them here. But Gansey was only doing what Adam told him to. Following Adam's plan, Adam's stupid ideas, Adam's externally imposed need to fix the line.]

Stop it. This whole thing is because I had to mess with the line. Cabeswater is still here with me, it hasn't written us off, it's just - not that sort of thing. It's not going to save us, because why should it? That's not how it works.

[He doesn't know how to explain, not really. Cabeswater is so deeply unlike any living thing, it just doesn't think in a way that even Adam can understand. Especially since time at home is stopped - in Harborview, Adam had been told that, and he thinks it must be the same here. Why should Cabeswater try to save them if, from its perspective, it doesn't need to? It doesn't need its tool for anything right now, and while it loves Ronan, it's still somewhat in contact with him.]

It doesn't... I don't think it matters to Cabeswater that we're here. Maybe it's not strong enough, but I don't think it would even occur to it to try. But that doesn't mean we're stuck forever.

[He looks at Ronan.]

Anyway, put the blame where it belongs. I'm the one you should be yelling at.

[gansey is focused on ronan, if only because he knows better than to take his eyes off ronan when he's like this. something either stupid or dangerous could happen, but either way, it would be violent. he's not sure pinning ronan with his stare will help, but it's better than nothing.

but that doesn't mean he's not listening to adam.]

As though you had any choice in the matter, Parrish. You were going mad. We were all going mad, it was tainting Ronan's dreams. It didn't matter at that point whether it was a trap, things were going to hell anyway. I'm the one who offended it and got us sent to a fresh one.

[he rubs his other ear.]

Look. I know I promised that we'd get back home. I meant it. We're going to get back home. Cabeswater is still with Adam, we're not impossibly far. What we are is away from that damned line, and the rest we're going to have to figure out. But we will get home. We have to, to find Glendower and finish it. That's not the kind of thing that just stops.

[Ronan doesn't move under Gansey's stare, but that doesn't make him any less dangerous. And Gansey- he swore that he'd get them home, Adam told him that he'd try to think of a way out of it and, granted, all of that was before they realized the true extent of their situation, but it doesn't make their promises any less to him.

And he knows, he knows that they can't do anything- and maybe that's part of why he's angry now, at Gansey, at everything.]

Don't fucking lie to me, Gansey. Don't you dare promise me something that you can't deliver on.

[He's shaking. Ronan's faith in Gansey, in his promises, in his quests, is absolute. It always has been. But he doesn't feel that faith now- he feels the Barns slipping through his fingers again, he feels justifications, pointless blind optimism, the insufferable attitude of someone who wants things to be okay but can't ensure that they ever will be.

He knows Gansey loves him. He knows that Gansey's heart is breaking to not deliver on his promise. He knows that Adam blames himself, that Adam probably doesn't think they can get back either, but won't side against Gansey when Ronan is so aggressive about it.

None of it really matters right now.]

You both fucked with the line. You saved us, that's- that's fine, thanks, but I'm allowed to be pissed about the fact that we're further from home than we've ever been. So fuck this.

[He's a prisoner in his own body, with nothing to lash out against, so Ronan turns and slams his hand against one of the doors, scuffing it. It's fast, over before he really realizes that he's moving, and Ronan looks toward Adam for a split second for his reaction- a hair of cautiousness among the violence- before turning his attention back toward Gansey. It's easier, now that he's moved, bled a little anger out in the motion of it. It's easier to breathe, to realize dimly that this isn't the sort of thing that gets resolved, just the sort of thing that you move on from.]

...just- whatever. Pick out bedrooms and keep going, right? It's not like we have another choice.

[He doesn't flinch when Ronan moves, or when his fist slams into the door. It's harder when he knows he's part of the reason for Ronan's anger - hard not to remember all the other times violence was done because of something he'd messed up - but this isn't those times, and Ronan isn't his father. The mere fact that Ronan glances at him afterward, as if to make sure he's all right, is enough to prove that.

But either way, Adam wouldn't flinch. He hasn't been afraid of Ronan's violence being directed towards him for months now.]

Survival is our only choice. Maybe there's a way back, maybe there isn't, it's too soon to say. We don't even really know where we are. But there's no point in just - giving up.

[Not that Adam has ever thought that was really an option for any of them. But perhaps sometimes a reminder is necessary. He glances at Gansey, looks away. He could lie and simply agree, say they will get home, but he doesn't really think that and he doesn't have the energy for it.

Maybe it's not impossible. But maybe is a lot, right now. All Adam can bring himself to do is hedge his bets, not quite choose a side, place himself somewhere in the middle between Gansey's determined optimism and Ronan's furious pessimism.]

You can be pissed about whatever you want, no one's ever been able to stop you from doing that.

[And Adam fucked up, and he knows that, and while most of Ronan's anger is directed at Gansey, that doesn't change anything. In the end, Adam is perfectly capable of being angry at himself. He's very good at it.]

But yeah, this is all we can do, short of laying down and giving up. You don't get to pick a room, though. You get that one, because you just fucked up the door.

[It is an entirely serious statement. Your temper tantrum just picked your room for you, Ronan.]

[bless adam for being logical, for remaining neutral. even gansey doesn't really believe what he's saying. the chances of them getting home without some kind of outside intervention are probably close to nil. but he can't stand the idea of ronan giving up. he's seen too much of ronan's blood and pain and fear. he worries about adam mentally breaking down, about hating himself for having no answer to an unanswerable problem, but he doesn't worry that adam will give up. he is, first and foremost, a survivor. ronan just wanted to go home, and as soon as he could, he was snatched away again. gansey doesn't know what ronan will do if he truly believes that he'll never see the barns again.

still, it's a slap across the face, leaving him hot and stinging. he shakes his head.]

Nobody's even going to try and stop you from being pissed, have no fear. Sit your ass down and let Adam patch you up, Ronan. I'm going upstairs to find a room, I guess.

[he doesn't wait for either of them to respond before he's turning on his heel and heading out of the room and up the stairs, his shoulders and back stiff.]

[Upstairs all the doors have been opened. Every single door that can be opened is in fact open (except to the one out to the deck, because that's letting a draft in). Noah had to make sure nothing was hiding in any of them. He's in one of the rooms, laying down on a bed that could comfortably fit two and a half Noahs, so soft that he's sunk more than halfway into what passes for the mattress.

Well, okay, he began struggling to sit up when he heard Gansey coming up the stairs but he's still kind of in the process of that. This bed will take some maneuvering.]

Um... everything okay?

[everything is not okay, that's clear from the look on gansey's face. he solves the problem of noah trying to get up, though, by taking off his shoes and then settling into the bed himself, rolling so that his face is smushed partially by noah's shoulder and partially by the mattress, and noah is smushed partially by gansey.]

Of course not. So it goes. Is this your way of claiming this room as your own?

[Yeah Noah kinda already knew the answer when he asked, really. He gives a little oof when Gansey joins him and he falls back onto the mattress, easily squashed into it with how much give there is. He brings an arm up to stroke lightly at Gansey's hair.]

Mmmhmm. The other mattress is firmer. I like the marshmallowness of the bed.

You would want to sleep on a marshmallow.

[he manages to make that sound fond, just like the sound he makes when noah starts petting his hair is meant to be a frustrated huff and comes out more like a comforted sigh. he wraps his arm around noah's chest to play with the ends of his hair. ]

I'll take the firmer mattress, but this one isn't so bad.

[Ronan doesn't say anything to Gansey. He doesn't try to, doesn't think that he can, and before he knows it, he's watching Gansey's back as he moves back up toward the stairs to follow Noah up to the second floor. And then he's gone, and Ronan's angers slips away with him- not entirely, but it's deflated against the mountain of other things that he's feeling.

He takes a breath and watches the stairs, listens to the footsteps as they trail across the ceiling, before finally he opens the door that he damaged earlier and stomps into what he supposes is his room now.

If he were shutting everyone else out, he'd slam the door and make it clear that nobody should disturb him. As it is, he leaves it open behind him, even though he gives no indication that he wants to be followed, and instead just shoves himself down on the bed and stares up at the unfamiliar ceiling. Adam will find supplies and come in or he won't. Ronan can deal with his injury himself if he needs to, though he knows logically that Adam would do a far better job in stitching him up. It doesn't matter.

He listens to the sounds of Gansey moving about upstairs until they stop, tries to listen for Adam, but he's always been so quiet that it's impossible to track him through the house. Light is streaming in through the balcony window, and Ronan turns his head to look at it, his entire body and taut and contemplative, a stark contrast to the bristling creature that he was a few moments ago.]

[Noah laughs softly.]

Glad you like it, since you'll be sleeping in it half the time. The other one is okay too. There's a balcony with a pretty good view too. It was probably really nice when everything here was new.

Oh, are we making up a schedule of which room we're sleeping in?

[he's teasing, of course, and he turns his face from the pillow muffling his words enough to give noah a chaste, grateful kiss on the neck, more a press of dry lips than anything else.]

We have a balcony? That will be nice, even if everything here isn't new. Fresh air and all.

[he's desperately trying to find good things about this place, anything to salve the fact that he completely fucked everything up.]

[Noah gives a soft and happy sigh, continuing to stroke Gansey's hair. He can't do much for Adam or Ronan right now, but at least Gansey's calmed down, and... maybe they can help each other.

Noah is deeply emotionally invested in his friends' relationships.]

Yeah, there's a bathroom upstairs too so we don't have to risk wandering downstairs in the dark either. Aaaaaand while it's all the way in my bag, I also still have my berry vodka.

[He watches Gansey flee upstairs, watches Ronan stalk into the other room. Adam supposes this is the best outcome that could be expected. He doesn't like seeing Ronan and Gansey fight, doesn't like seeing any of them fight, but there wasn't any way to avoid it. An explosion was inevitable, and there was nothing Adam could do to keep it from happening. No one got injured, at least. It could be worse.

They might never get home. He knows that, and he knows that it'll weigh heavier on Ronan than on the rest of them. He's seen Ronan at the Barns, he knows what it means to him. Adam has never had a home like that. He doesn't even really know where his home is anymore. If he had something like the Barns to return to, he would probably explode, too.

He goes to the kitchen, finds water, and retrieves bandages and other supplies from his bag. There's really nothing he can do right now except this. Regardless of what Ronan or Gansey might say, Adam knows that their being here is ultimately his fault, and while he can feel pricked by injustice since he had no choice, that doesn't change the reality of it. What else can he do, but try to make up for it?

He goes to Ronan's room, noting the open door, and doesn't pause as he crosses the threshold. His voice is quiet.]

Sit up. Let's clean off the blood before we get a bandage on that.

So we're living in the relative lap of weird alien cave luxury, is what you're saying, just without any basic necessities.

[gansey is terribly grateful for noah's presence, for his joking and his dumb marshmallow bed and his scent and his fingers in gansey's hair. he makes things more bearable, makes the hopelessness recede to levels gansey feels like he can possibly handle.]

I think we should save your vodka for happier occasions. Or really, really bad ones. Does this count?

[He's not surprised that Adam eventually winds up stepping into the room. He wouldn't have been surprised if Adam had left, but the fact that he's here is- tolerable, at the very least. Ronan doesn't look at him when he walks through the door, doesn't respond immediately when Adam speaks.

He knows that Adam can't really empathize with why he wants to get back so badly. None of them do- they understand his reasons, sure, but being cut off from the Barns feels like being cut off from his very soul, and he doesn't think that any of the others can really understand the magnitude of it. It makes him- cruel, maybe?- to be so angry, but he doesn't know how else to be. He thinks about all the times he was in Monmouth, staring at the ceiling like this, when the Barns was only a half hour drive away. He thinks about now, when he can't reach the Barns if he had all the time in the world, and it snarls something inside of him, makes him hate every inaction, every hesitation, every time he relented when Gansey said no.

Adam wants him to move. Adam hadn't really taken sides, but Ronan knows that he blames himself in all of this mess, and that's unfair, even if his actions did ultimately bring them here. But he can't- Ronan is in no place to reassure anyone of anything, and he's definitely not able to defer any of Adam's self-loathing, so he simply follows the commands and heaves himself up with a long exhale. It takes him a moment, but eventually he scoots back a little on the bed and tilts his neck a little so that the injury is a little easier to access. And it's not- bad, it wasn't deep enough to puncture a lung and not much wider than the width of Arya's sword, but it's bleeding pretty badly and will probably need a little tending to if they want to avoid infection.

He doesn't look at Adam. Not right now.]

You don't have to.

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