hadriel_logs | Event Log: Flu Season

Entry tags:

Event Log: Flu Season

Who: All characters
What: The event log for the Flu Season event
Where: All over the city
When: March 20th-March 30th
Warnings: Gross sneezing, sick people, and paranoia

It starts with a cough, a sneeze, a sore throat - something small and simple, easily ignored. But then your symptoms get worse. It's probably been awhile since you've been sick, that sort of thing doesn't usually happen here. You might be able to raid the shops for some tissues and tea before it gets too bad, and hopefully you've got a friend to help out until you get better. Surely it'll be over soon, right?

Until the fever sets in, and you start to understand why your friend is really there. They don't want to take care of you. They want to make sure this is the last anyone will ever see of you. They want to learn all your secrets. They want to steal your most precious possession. You know they're plotting against you, you know they're keeping something from you. What will you do to find out what it is?

Then, as the sickness fades, you realize it was all in your mind. Let's hope you didn't do or say anything too awful. But that friend of yours... they seem to have picked up your cough. Maybe you should help them out?

► This log covers March 20th-March 30th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If your paranoia ends in murder, please let us know here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It's not working yet, his words arent't landing, but that's okay. It's alright. Taako isn't running, either. Maybe he wants to believe it, right? Kravitz just has to give him proof.

He shakes his head, zeroing in on the part that is clearly giving Taako pause.]

No. It matters. I said it to you then, Taako. That I am not perfect, and that I don't wish perfection from you, either. You felt that it was the truth, didn't you? I know you did. Please remember that.

Edited 2018-04-25 02:46 (UTC)

[He swallows, and Kravitz can feel the tip of the Umbra Staff shaking. If it's his hands, the growing ache in his arm, or both, that's hard to say.]

So, that was-- that was different. That was before you saw all of it. There's a fuckin'-- there's a breaking point with me, alright, I know there is. What was it, huh? 'Cuz uh, wouldn't be surprised!

[And hm, isn't it interesting another part of the way fear is manifesting is Kravitz leaving him. Is Kravitz deciding he's too much. Hm. How about that.]

[His grip tightens, holding the staff steady, clinging onto it in lieu of being able to hold onto Taako. His other hand is still raised, waiting, hanging in the air between them.]

Taako... [His voice breaks, cracking under the pressure of all he needs to say. He just wants to reach him.] There is no breaking point. I just want to be here. I want to be here for all of you. Every part. Please let me. Please.

[Kravitz clears his throat, feels it shake a tear from the dip beside his eye.]

You have made my every decision worthwhile, simply by nature of the fact that they led me to you. I won't throw this away because it's not easy.

Will you?

[Taako keeps looking at him, tries to stay like a statue, but Kravitz is still finding a way to hold him up- the grip he has on the staff stops him from trembling, gives him something to hold onto. It's disarming, it's disorienting, the way these sort of moves from Kravitz can shake him to his core. The crack of his voice. The water in his eyes.

Why does he care? Why does Taako want to believe he really does, that he's not lying, that he has-- something, anything, anything--

He breaks eye contact with Kravitz for the first time, wrenching the Umbra Staff from his grip and pulling it into his arms. He should run. He thinks he should run. But he doesn't, keeping the staff pressed close into his chest, looking down towards the ground.]

I can't... you. Why are...

[A hand creeps up from his chest to tangle in his hair, like he's fighting his own mind as the headache creeps forward over the artificial emotion still rocking through him.]

You're just trying to get me to go with you. So you can-- do something. So you can get your way.

[Why are you being... so nice to me?]

[The umbrella wrenches out his grip, and although Kravitz should be fucking glad- it's a weapon, pointed at him, deadly- all he can feel is a pang of sadness, instead. It was all he had to hang onto. All that was physically connecting them. He would rather choke, it seems, than breathe without Taako. It doesn't come as any sort of surprise.

He aches to step forward, mend this distance, but Kravitz knows it's not what Taako needs right now.]

You know why. You know. I love you so much.

[You can do it, he thinks. Fight it.]

I'm right here. We don't have to go anywhere- I don't want anything. Just you.

[There's a part of him that's smarter than this, that's analytical and logical and can follow that he never gets sick, that it makes no sense that it came on so suddenly, and that this is fake. This is something he can push through. But Taako's always been a man barely in control of his own feelings and rapidly shoving them down until they burst, and he certainly feels like he's leaking at the seams. It's an overload, like a load of junk data pushed into his head that overrides any sense, any logic.

But Kravitz says I love you so much and he feels like he's about to break into tears.

How could he mean that? How could he ever really want this? Want Taako threatening his life, yelling at him, making him cry. What does Taako ever bring him but this weight, this hurt that's plagued him for so long?

Why the fuck does Kravitz keep finding ways to care about him?

He still feels barely restrained, panic locking his limbs, his thoughts, the air from his throat. But he finally speaks, chokes out the words. This isn't real. This isn't real this isn't real it isn't happening--]

Krav... what the fuck is going on?

[It feels like everything freezes. His panic, the desperate atmosphere, his voice in his throat- this is good. This is something. Kravitz clings to it, hoping the universe will just grant him this one thing.]

I think... I suspect the gods. [No-] Liches. [He practically spits the word, expression softening again the moment he looks back to Taako.]

They mean to cause you- and others, I would wager- distress, to feed themselves. I know it's not easy to fight, I... but you can trust me. I can stay with you, until it passes.

[He feels like he's being strangled. His heart won't slow down, his thoughts are foggy and inconsistent, and he can't stop the pulse of fear running under it all. Unconsciously, he's raised a hand to his adam's apple, pressing fingers there just to ensure there isn't a hand, a rope, something he can't see. Ironic, he's talking to the Grim Reaper and he's feeling the ghost of a knife at his neck. Palpable in that symbolism, huh.

Taako sucks in a breath, tries to keep speaking.]

God, fuck them, I'm so tired of-- this, this crap, fuck.

[He's also just tired. It's been days since he left the house. But it's awfully hard when your main mode of rest is meditation to do that when you're scared you're going to be attacked every second. And he wants to go with Kravitz- wants Kravitz to make this okay- but there are fears he can't quell right now, that Kravitz will take him and he'll never make it out again. Would he do that? What if he had to? What if he was being forced? He can't know for sure. Something in him just can't.]

It's been like three fucking days, how long is this shit supposed to keep going?

[Right now, every word out of Taako feels like a small victory. A baby step in the right direction. He wants to hope he's doing and saying the right things; what Taako needs to hear. That's tough to be sure of though, especially when he isn't 100% Taako right now.

Kravitz tries not to second guess himself- he feels like that wouldn't go down well, either.]

I know- I know, they are truly well beyond tiresome at this point. Fear and Sorrow in particular have overstepped tiresome, skipped past aggravating, and landed squarely in 'complete pains in the ass'.

[He smiles a lopsided sort of smile, trying to reach for Taako in a way he knows to have worked before- humor. But he's Kravitz, and this is the man he loves, and he can't hold the smile for very long. Instead, his expression grows tender, concerned.]

I'm unsure. [He doesn't want to say what they both know: that this brand of fuckery has gone on longer than a few days before, and could again.] But you will come out the other side of this, Taako. And myself, and Lup- everyone. We'll all be here. You are safer than you feel. I wish I could do anything more to assure you of that.

[He will make these gods suffer twofold for everything they've put him through.]

[Somehow, the gentle way he's handling him is one part the best option for this, and one part absolutely terrifying. Because it's working- Taako wants to go with him. He wants to stop feeling this way, he wants to feel safe and secure and less of this fucking mess consuming his head. But at the same time, every step he takes towards that admission makes the sickness worse. Makes him feel like he's being taken over by Kravitz, as oppose to the liches and the emotion. It's terrible. It's fucking terrible and the emotions won't stop wrecking him so fully he feels like he can barely breathe.]

It's not-- It's not you, it's... this, it's all of this, it's--

[Me, he thinks, it's me continuing to be afraid and closed off and not knowing how to fight something that takes root in your head and can do so in seconds. He wants to crack himself open, to grab these feelings by the neck and rip them out of his soft tissue no matter the pain. But he can't. He can't.

He tries to take a step and wobbles, puts the Umbra Staff from his chest to the ground in a steadying motion. He hasn't stopped to rest in days, and it's catching up to him, now that the adrenaline has stopped coursing so roughly through him.]

I can't fuckin'-- do this, Krav. I d... I don't know what to do.

[What he "should" be able to feel or what is "possible" hardly matters at the moment when Kravitz knows he can feel his heart breaking. Taako deserves better than this. Better than the fear and confusion painted on his face, and far better than anything Kravitz is managing to offer him right now, that's for sure.

On the other hand, he's not going to just give up because of some petty self worth perception issues.

He holds out a hand to Taako once more, still not deterred, hopeful and gentle and firm.]

Just breathe. That's all you have to do. Breathe, and take my hand. We won't go anywhere you don't want to.

[He smiles at Taako.]

If it brings you any comfort, we both know you could kick my ass if you wished to.

[He's being so kind. He's approaching Taako in a way only Lup ever really has, with a hand outstretched, with jokes and a smile and a way into his heart. His hand is up in his hair, trying to steady himself as the world seems to move around him. He feels like he could collapse, with only the fear keeping him going.

He isn't... this. He doesn't want to be this. He doesn't want to be the person these liches have forced him to become.

Taako looks at Kravitz, and for once, doesn't do anything to mask the fear in his eyes.]

... I don't want to.

[I don't want to hurt you, he thinks. I've never wanted to.

He raises the tip of the Umbra Staff and plants it down in front of him, letting him walk a step or two to meet it. Closer to Kravitz. Closer to home. His mind is screaming what ifs, the fear nearly paralyzing, but for once he'll fight down his urges.

He's trying to trust. He wants to trust. How fucking weird is that, huh?]

Get me out of here.

[Gods, but he's so ready to do exactly what Taako says.]

Of course.

[It's a big step for anyone, but he knows how much bigger it is for Taako. The effort it takes. He feels relieved, obviously, but he thinks maybe there's a tinge of pride in there, too.

As usual, he meets Taako in the middle, taking a slow, careful step forward himself. He's finally close enough to just stretch a little further-]

Here it comes. My big cold gay hand.

[It's a warning, disguised as a joke, before he gently weaves his fingers through Taako's.

He doesn't immediately open a portal, because that requires summoning his scythe, and he wants to take a moment to make sure Taako is still with him before taking That particular step.]

[He's breathing through his nose, jaw set, steps feeling crisscrossing and sloppy. Elves may not need to sleep, but all beings need rest, and he hasn't stopped being scared long enough to meditate since he climbed out his bedroom window and made a run for it. He's fighting his own issues here, too, but also his body struggling to stay upright. Taako barely registers as Kravitz, and despite himself, he takes it. It's cool, he realizes.

He's real, then. The gods never get that detail right. He's real, and here, and loves him, and that's terrifying.

Kravitz closes the gap, Taako taking a step until he's leaning on his chest, quiet except for the sound of his breathing.

He squeezes his hand. Mush, boyfriend mobile. Even now, his steps feel shaky, using his free hand to lean on the Umbra Staff.]

... c'mon.

[He nudges his shoulder, trying to communicate urgency in subtlety.]

[He gets the message, loud and clear. The gentlest 'hurry the fuck up' in the world.

Krav summons his scythe without waiting a moment longer, his other hand still gripping Taako's. It leads through to Kravitz's apartment- he hopes it will be a good mix of familiar and safe, but likely far quieter than the horny house. ...Barring any unexpected guests. He prays that there are none, before remembering that his Queen can't hear him. No one can, here.

The moment they're through and Kravitz can close the portal and lose the scythe, he does so. Deciding it's a good idea- at least for now- to continue giving Taako warning before he does anything, he speaks up:]

I think that's quite enough walking for you. If you'll permit me?

[He's already halfway to picking Taako up, stooping down and tucking a ready arm behind his knees. The bed is hardly far away, but Taako is shaking. He wants to hold him.]

[He's glad it's not his room. That would only serve to remind him that he can't find Lup, only remembering she's just on a short trip every once in a while. Kravitz' home is safe. Kravitz is... home.

He lets himself be pulled through, steps sloppy and hand still tight. But once they're alone, he's already slumped against Kravitz' chest, and he just nods into his collarbone, not speaking.

Once his feet are off the ground, he hooks the Umbra Staff off an arm and tucks his head into the crook of Kravitz' neck, shielding himself from the rest of the world.

He's safe. He's safe. He has to remember that. Kravitz is here and it's going to be okay.]

... 'Mm tired.

[Take him to bed and don't leave. Maybe ever. It's hard to say.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Event Log: Flu Season

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject