Event Log: Senses Fail

[hadrielmods]

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for the Senses Fail event
Where: All over the city
When: May 14th-May 20th
Warnings: None

You wake up on the 14th, and something is different. Maybe it's something small - you can't smell anything, or your hearing on one side seems to be on the fritz. Or it could be something large and impossible to miss - you've gone completely blind, or you seem to be missing a leg. You've lost something, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to fix it.

Will you ever get it back? Probably, but it's impossible to be sure. And even if you're thoroughly convinced that this is temporary, that still means you have to figure out how to live like this for the next week. Even small things can be huge difficulties. Your sense of taste doesn't seem that important, until you accidentally eat something that'll make you sick. And sure, maybe you can figure out how to live without one hand, but what about when you wake up three days from now and you've also lost your magic?

Do your best to keep yourself calm, but remember: it can always get worse.

► This log covers May 14th-May 20th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If your lost sense turns out to have been essential to your survival, please let us know here.

Comments

alphys | ota (cw: depression thoughts)

[sciencelizard]

i. [14th] i need a laugh track played in the background so the silence could be drowned out

[Alphys wakes up on the morning of the 14th, and feels nothing at all.

This isn't horribly strange. There are some days Alphys wakes up in a daze, feeling bad about her life, that everything is worthless and she has no place here. But this is... different. Something feels utterly hollow, in a way that isn't just a consuming sadness. She pulls herself out of bed, changes her clothes, goes into the kitchen for breakfast.

To most people, this isn't strange. But to Alphys, this usually takes much more time- reading the network in bed, maybe getting distracted with an episode of a show, thinking about her worries for the city. This is strange. This is something she doesn't know how to quantify.

She steps out of her apartment into the sun, and looks at it, and when that doesn't work, holds her hand at her chest with her palm up expectantly.

And when nothing appears, she knows she'd be horribly, horribly afraid if she could feel anything at all. The Gods might lose out on her for a week- but the implications, the thoughts of this week, those will haunt her for years. So now she stands here, just staring at her hand, trying to think of what to do.]

ii. [15th onwards] it's like I've been conditioned, brain washed to be ashamed / if aliens existed here, i bet they'd feel the same

[She tries to keep busy.

In fact, she's actually better at doing things than usual, when she's not hindered by anxiety and depression clawing at her brain; she goes to the lab, churns through papers, organizing everything in her vicinity in a way so unlike her. Usually, she doesn't have the energy to do any of this, can't push past the nervousness to just get started. Now, everything is immaculate in a day or two, and the real issue sets in.

She's actually kind of bored.

Alphys can be found throughout the city- in the park and the lab sketching designs for something intricate, or in the Coliseum taking readings with some handheld device. She'll greet people, try to mimic her old self, but something's just not there.

Don't worry, everyone. She'd be as worried as you, if she could be.]

[ooc: Alphys' plotting comment is here, for further clarification on what's goin' on with her!]

16th

[unnature]

[Not only is Avisheh's intelligence gone, her sharp wit and perfect memory, but she is in a state of perpetually drunk to deal with it. She carries a bottle of cider -- unspiced, but she can't figure out why it tastes different from home -- and stumbles around, leaning on her cane moreso than usual for support. Normally, her cane is insurance, but now it's simply a lifeline.

Oh, the park. Parks are nice. Maybe she'll feel less awful if she touches some grass. They say going outside cures depression, or whatever, and Avisheh doesn't think twice about that stray thought, whether it was sarcastic or horrifyingly not.

She spots a lizard person -- how nice, a unique individual, and apparently a creative one, as they seem to be sketching something.]

Heyyy.

[Avisheh points with her bottle at the notebook in Alphys' claws.]

D'you draw that? It's-- It's good. What is it?

[sciencelizard]

[Normally, she'd worry about strangers approaching her while she worked. It's why she tends to isolate herself while she does concepts, or if anything needs to get done at all- it's better for people not to question her. But right now, it doesn't feel like anything. Avisheh approaches and Alphys doesn't even feel the natural apprehension that should come with an interaction.]

Oh... yeah, I'm uhm. I was messing with some d-designs. New robots. I haven't built one in a while.

[unnature]

[Avisheh takes a swig of cider.]

Ah. An architect. No, not the word. A... robot-maker. Engineer! Hey, if you're a lizard, what shape do you make robots in?

[This is the worst first impression of all time, but at least Alphys isn't in a position to be offended.]

[sciencelizard]

[Honestly, this will probably give off a better impression of Alphys than she actually is. At least this time she isn't crumbling under the weight of social pressure, just patiently waiting for the other person to finish.]

Uh, engineer, yeah-- well, roboticist if you w-want to be technical.

[She doesn't think she wants to be technical.]

But uh, all shapes. Whatever suits it, I guess. Though I've only ever made one robot fully, and his form was designed to look like a human. Or well, the s-second one.

[unnature]

What robot are you designing right now? Hey, you should make a robot that screams.

[Wait, Avisheh spoke with Law about talking to some of the scientists here about working more closely with the clinic.]

Have you ever done, uh... medical... bio... you know, whatever? Medical stuff?

[She taps her plastic-and-metal legs with her cane, to try and give more context.]

ii

[completelycrazy]

[Newt has been avoiding the lab for his own sanity. He can't work, so what's the point?

But eventually, yeah, boredom sets in. He's restless. Maybe he can find something to do with the, like, zero motor skills he currently has in his hands. Ugh, this event is so fucking stupid.

The lab looks... weird, though. It's so clean, especially Alphys's desk. It's weird to actually see the desk instead of a vague desk-shaped mass of papers. Now, though, everything's all nice and neat. Organized. Papers tucked into folders and stacked in designated piles. It's creepy, honestly. It's like Hermann's blown through here.

In order to abscond from feelings, Newt heads out again, puttering somewhat aimlessly around town until he ends up in the coliseum.

Which is where he finds Alphys. Hm. He heads over, hands in his pockets.]

Hey. Saw you did some spring cleaning in the lab. You think you'll get any worthwhile readings this time of month? [He gestures. He figures she's probably scouting for Door info.]

[sciencelizard]

[She absolutely is. The problem with not having strong emotions is everything feels hollow when she isn't doing something. She tried watching a show on her computer, but there was something intimately wrong about looking at Mew Mew without feeling a surge of happiness. So she figures let's go the other way- without a fear of failure, she can just try some things she was afraid would be pointless. Opportunity, or something.

Usually, when Newt would approach, her whole body would react; a raise of her spines, a height in her shoulders, an involuntary smile. She doesn't know how to mimic these innate reactions, so all she can manage for him is a smile, albiet a bit strained.]

Well, we h-haven't gotten baseline readings in a while, or magical residuals, so I was thinking it was time to redo that info.

[She looks up at him, still sort of trying to pantomime her usual enthusiasm.]

What about you? Were you looking for me?

ii. the 16th

[so_dark_a_road]

[ Curufin runs into Alphys in the Lab. She seems to be making some kind of an engineering drawing, and he's curious. ]

What are you working on, Dr. Alphys? If I may ask.

[ But he sees immediately that something is off. Normally she displays her vitality and interest in life with her body language, the swiftness and focus of her motions, the quick animated way she makes eye contact and the emotional way she speaks. Something that should be there is not there, and Curufin is immediately worried. ]

Strange things have been happening, these last few days. Are you all right?

[sciencelizard]

[She really doesn't want to worry anyone. It feels so wrong to not be herself, not have her emotions so at the forefront of who she is. But people keep coming by, so she tries to fake it with smiles and waves. Still, the unconcious ways she interacts are lost, and operating them makes her feel like she's working her own body like a rickety puppet. She hopes this doesn't go on very long- or as much as she can hope.]

I was just t-thinking about some concepts... I don't have much to do right now. Especially with the city oddly out of whack, you know? It makes it hard to experiment.

[so_dark_a_road]

[ Poor puppeteer of a rickety puppet! She doesn't deserve this. The gods are dicks. ]

Yes, I see what you mean! Almost everybody has some loss to deal with, and it's throwing a monkey wrench into everything we do, all our tasks and responsibilities.

[ He isn't sure what to ask. She's obviously uncomfortable, and he knows her well enough to know she doesn't like to worry people. He looks at her with sympathy. ]

[sciencelizard]

[The gods are absolutely dicks. She nods in response to him, looking up and pressing a smile just because she thinks its what she should look like.]

What about you? Have you been alright?

[Talking about him is safe, at least. Doesn't have to make mention of what she's doing, or what's going on.]

[so_dark_a_road]

[ And she may not have the emotions she needs at the moment, but she does have good intuition about what they would be if she had them! ]

I'm all right. [ Which is true today, but it wasn't true yesterday. ] My relatives didn't fare as well, though. Maglor lost his voice, Celebrimbor lost his hearing, Maedhros lost his sight and his hearing, and Fingon lost his hands. [ He shakes his head. ] Fear didn't get much from them, though. They were mostly just irritated. No tears or screams. They just made a lot of wry jokes.

15th

[sneaklizard]

[ Another run, right? Another fucked up uncalled for change in the people that never asked for it.

The first day, it had been annoying. Carey, sporting new bruised spots where she'd bumped into various objects throughout the day, new muscle soreness where even the basic exercises had gone wrong. Calling out her morning training sessions with her friend because she couldn't even show him how to do the basic attacks she'd gotten down perfectly for years.

But, going through the day, she noticed. Some people were acting different. Some had more visual changes, when others spoke of vaguer concepts. Some just seemed to be act off in some way.

So, today, she's just walking off the frustration, hoping she'll keep from hurting herself accidentally with her newfound clumsiness.

Spotting Alphys out, doin' some doodlin', she's just happy to see a friend, walking over with a gentle smile on her face.]

Heya.

[sciencelizard]

[Off is absolutely the word for it. Alphys may look whole, but her reactions to Carey seem stiff and mechanical. There's no usual reaction of anxiety or apprehension at an interaction, no body language of greetings or activity as Carey makes herself known. She forces herself to smile as Carey appears, though it's halfhearted.

Or well, fullhearted. She's okay at hiding her emotions, but she's never needed to really force them.]

Hey. Are you alright?

[She points to a bruise on the other woman's arm, obviously not thinking about if it might be an uncomfortable topic.]

[sneaklizard]

Huh- [ She glances at her arm, raising it a bit to check. It's hard to tell with scales, but there's definitely a bump there.]

Oh, yeah, huh. I'm okay, just been a little, a little clumsy, I guess. Been a weird couple of days.

Mind if I sit? [ As she's already making her way to take a seat next to Alphys.]

[sciencelizard]

[Out of everyone, Alphys is probably the most experienced in the city with recognizing bumps and bruises on scales. She isn't the most coordinated person basically ever, so it's not so unusual. She shuffles over on the bench to let Carey sit, looking back at what she was working on. Usually, she'd try to hide it, or be ashamed, but she's been robbed of such fear.]

It has been strange. I mean, the gods do this all the time, so... I guess we should be more used to it by now. But every t-time is a little different.

i.

[hasitsthorns]

[ Rose knows her roommate's habits. Just as Alphys is likely familiar with her routine by now, she's grown accustomed to sharing a space with the lizard. It's a little atypical. Not anything extremely concerning but she knows there's more time phone scrolling and Anime watching in the mornings than this one.

To be fair, things are a bit quieter on Rose's end than usual. Uncharacteristically quiet. To get Alphys' attention over breakfast, she actually drops a piece of silverware. Loudly. When the lizard looks up at the noise, Rose will be instead staring her own. Not intensely, but questioning. What's up? the expression seems to say.

She can sense that something is wrong. ]

[sciencelizard]

[Seeing Rosie in the morning should be a comfort- the thought that there are still other people around, the world continuing to turn, even if she's having... well, a lack of a crisis. She should be having a crisis. But she can't, and that should be more worrying, and--

The silverware drops her out of it, as she tilts her head up sharply, looking at Rosie quietly.]

Uh... h-hey. What's up?

[Her voice is fine, her expression alright. But the heart just isn't there.]

[hasitsthorns]

[ 'What's up?' Alphys asks and Rose only continues to dead pan stare the lizard woman down. After a moment, she stands up and finds the nearest writing utensil. She finds a (not used) napkin to write on.

Scribble, scribble. The blond passes it over after a few flicks of her wrist and it reads: ]

What's up with you?

[sciencelizard]

[She looks down at the paper, back up to Rosie, tilts her head a bit.]

It's... kind of hard to explain. Can you not speak?

[Alphys reaches up, hand curling in against her mouth as she thinks for a moment.]

Did the Gods do something?

15th

[onlyanautomaton]

[Oscar sets out for the laboratory once more, hoping not just to find the scientist he had been wanting to meet there yesterday, but to see her in good health. He quietly enters the building and comes to a stop after only a few steps to take note of the immediately apparent changes to his surroundings. Someone has come by since his last visit yesterday morning and taken the time to meticulously organize the contents of the room. Technical drawings and detailed written notes have been tidied away into folders. Tools have been returned to their rightful places. This may even be the first time he has spied more than an inch of clear work space on the bench tops.

At the center of it all is the person he was hoping to see; judging by her appearance alone, she seems to be well. Her whole attention is focused on the intricate designs in front of her. The sight is one that Oscar finds comforting in its familiarity. He moves closer, his internal gear mechanisms clicking and whirring softly with each step, then halts before her. He keeps his handless limbs at his sides.]

Greetings, Dr. Alphys.

[sciencelizard]

[The hardest part about living as she is now is it's hard to approximate her physicality. Alphys shows life in her whole body, from perks in her spines to gestures of her tail. Now she just feels like a puppeteer trying to badly move a puppet with a few snapped strings. It's distancing. Uncomfortable.

Her eyes dart up when someone speaks, and she raises her head, trying to place if she's seen them before. It's fine if she hasn't. She doesn't have the fear to worry.]

Oh, uh-- h-hello there. Did someone send you here for me?

[onlyanautomaton]

[Apart from their momentary exchange over the network during the Null's invasion, Oscar has not had the pleasure of holding a conversation with Dr. Alphys. He doesn't sense anything odd about her movements, though her absence at the laboratory yesterday is something he has noted as being out of the ordinary.]

I was told by Nick Valentine that I should come to you for a potential solution to my problem.

[After a minor hesitation, he shows her the ends of his arms, the cuffs of his sleeves hanging loosely from them.]

[sciencelizard]

[She blinks once or twice when he raises his sleeves, mind putting together the problem fairly quickly.]

Oh. Well, t-that's awfully inconvenient, taking both of them like that.

[She knows she should be more sympathetic here, but-- it's difficult, when she doesn't feel a thing, to muster the proper emotional responses. But this is more of a business proposal, so...]

What kind of attatchments did you have before? Humanlike hands? Do you want something different?