hadriel_logs | [closed] and since we've one place to go

[Peter makes one of those unsure EEHHHH MMNNNNHHHGGG noises. Maybe Pratt's right? He is from Montana where there's like, bears and shit and like, nature.]

I-- I mean, maybe? But they also might get pissed off and trample us. They didn't seem too concerned about other dead mammoths while they were stampeding through the city. But, I can agree that they would make nice rugs.

The idea is to make them stampede away from us.

[He's pacing again, watching the mammoths and how they react to him. He's pretty sure he could get one of them away from the rest, but he'd probably get squashed in the process. Is it worth it?]

What's your plan? To run at them yelling and hope they get scared away?

I was actually thinking I might try to steer one into the others and kinda chase 'em off that way?

[Which means totally riding one but hey.]

How are you going to get one to run at the others? Their instinct is to clump up together as a herd, so if one runs at them they're going to hang out and wait for it to join them.

[Please don't ride the mammoths.]

Good point.

[Well Peter's out of ideas. Give him a moment to come up with another one hmmmm]

Maybe I could throw one...

[Peter please]

Throw one?

[Oh he's smiling now. He has an idea. An awful idea. Pratt has a wonderful, awful idea.]

Would having a handle to grab onto help?

[He hefts the shovel up, holding it by the middle of the handle and stalking closer to the mammoths. Remember how he was sharpening it? So it would go right through someone's sternum?

Think fast Peter, because in one swift motion he hurls it at one of the closer mammoths embedding the shovel right in between its eyes. It's not dead, but it's sure not happy and not going to be doing well in a few short moments.

There's about ten seconds before chaos is about to break out. Make your move.]

Y'know, I don't really think that-- Ohhh you've done it oh OHHHH LOOK AT THAT EW oh man. Oooh jeez. Ohhh man that's a lot of blood, good shot though. That was-- mmm, just, man, lot of blood. Okay, I'll be back.

[While he was. Making all those mouth noises, he was shrugging out of his coat, pulling his mask into place, and making sure his web shooters were unobstructed. Now he's charging right at the shovel mammoth, hitting it with his webbing so he can just pull himself over to it faster. Then he hefts it up and just hurls it into the group in an attempt to make them scatter and GUYS THIS IS KINDA FUCKED UP???

I mean the mammoths have no goddamn idea of what to make of their mammothy brother suddenly bowling balling into them so now they're all confused as shit. If that was part of the plan then GOOD JOB TEAM]

[He grins, that was a damn good shot.]

Well it's a big mammoth, so there's a lot of blood in there. That now needs to get out through a narrow gap.

[he's pretty casual about this, watching the mammoth stand there before it realizes something terrible has happened.]

I made you a handle anyway to-- Right. Just goop your way over there then.

[And now they're both talking to the air because Peter is off mammoth bowling. The terrified herd scatters in all directions, the ones that head towards Pratt are in for a nasty surprise because he has his knife out now and is more than willing to use it. He's darted around dangerous creatures a lot: horses, deer, cattle - so he knows what to do to not get trampled.]

Dammit.

[ The shoveled mammoth is getting up and trying to run off with his shovel. Sure it's going to die, but it can run pretty far in the next twenty minutes before it succumbs and he doesn't want to chase it. Cue Pratt leaping at the damn thing with a knife.]

It's not goop, it's webs!

[Peter bleeds often enough to know how bleeding works, Deputy. Not that that's a good thing but shhh.

He's gonna do Pratt a solid and web one of the shovel-mammoth's legs to the ground so that it can't escape, then turns his attention back to making sure that none of the rest of the herd decides to start peeling off towards their camp. So now he's just body slamming mammoths and making them turn that way, it's pretty effective. DON'T GET SQUISHED PRATT.]

That doesn't make it any better! In fact --

[As Pratt dodges around a mammoth to go get his shovel back.]

That almost makes it weirder!

[He ignores most of the other mammoths, because they're not actively trying to trample him, but getting away from the rampant chaos around. Plunging his knife into the mammoths neck he jerks downward, standing to the side of the arterial bloodflow that sprays everywhere. He darts backwards, waiting for it to go down or to see if he needs to do it again. This is a pretty big creature afterall.]

I didn't even think this knife would cut through their hide. Nice.

[See Peter's over here trying not to actually HURT the mammoths and Pratt's over here CUTTING THEIR BLOOD OUT. Goodness.]

You brought a knife to a mammoth fight and you didn't even know it would work!? Come on, man!

How else am I going to test it out?

[Come on man, use some common sense. Pratt darts to the side as the mammoth tries to charge him, now with somewhat of a reach because there's four feet of shovel handle sticking out of its face.]

The shovel worked fine. I've got this.

I-- Okay, I can't argue with that. But if you get trampled, I'm gonna be real upset!

[He won't let Pratt get trampled, but right now he's a little preoccupied with rolling one of the mammoths into one of it's buddies like a gigantic mammoth snowball]

More food for the rest of you on the trip home.

[But he grins as if that's the cheeriest thing he's said.]

I think this plan might be working. They're running off anyway.

[To avoid becoming katamari'd up by their brethren.]

You mean the mammoth, right? Please tell me you mean the mammoth.

[STOP TRYNA TELL PETER TO EAT YOU]

As long as this is working, I'm just gonna keep rollin' with it.

[he's not even the least bit sorry for that pun. He even pauses in his mammoth rolling to shoot Pratt a pair of finger guns EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY]

I meant there'd be more MRE's but sure you can eat the mammoth too.

[He pauses, thinking about that, because right now is a great time to be thinking about things that aren't the mammoths charging around. ]

I know I told you you could eat me, but I actually thought about it some more and you definitely shouldn't eat me.

Unless you want to hallucinate. And not in a fun way.

[Yep. Casual convo as he watches the shoveled mammoth finally keel over. He steps up to it to stab it in the throat again, trying to make this quicker so it doesn't slowly and painfully bleed out.]

You're real proud of that one aren't you?

[Peter stops what he's doing and just stares. From behind buggy spider mask eyes but still.]

I mean, yeah, pretty proud of that one, but now I have some... concerns? Why would eating you make me hallucinate?

...That's got to be one of the weirdest questions I've ever asked another human being.

[He's just. Gonna follow this fucked up line of questioning in an attempt to distract himself from that mammoth murder going on.]

[Pratt doesn't see that stare because he's kneeling down to start skinning the mammoth.]

See? I was right. They're all running off.

[Well they're running anyway, though not necessarily in the directions they wanted. But it's a start. ]

I'm not sure it would, but it might. Who knows what it'll do honestly.

[Which totally answers the question completely.]

[AW GROSS MAN HE'S JUST GOING AT IT EUUUUUUGHHH NO Peter is so not watching that. He pushes his mask back up and just watches the other mammoths retreat because it's less bloody and horrible.]

Remember those concerned I mentioned? Yeah, that answer didn't really help them go away, just throwing that out there.

[This is how you get a rug Peter. It's not like the critter dies and its skin just falls off all neat and clean. It's gross, bloody, smelly work, but at least Pratt knows what he's doing so it's going pretty quick.]

Yeah? That's too bad.

[in other words: he ain't explaining.]

Think anyone might want to eat this? I can drag it back to the camp but I don't really want to butcher it.

[CITY BOY WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS OKAY and also Pratt is playing mind games with him but the mammoth is so gross that he's not going to press the issue right now UGH GOD THE BLOOD.]

Uh. God. Maybe? I know I don't feel like eating right now. Maybe André the Giant will butcher it for you?

[That's Maine now that's his new name]

[Look at that, a nice skin all spread out on the ground and waiting to be rugified.]

Maybe I'll leave it here then, don't really want to smell it being gutted.

Have you called him that to his face? Because I think he might punch you into the moon if you do.

[BLUGHAUGH anyway peter will not protest leaving it here because EW OKAY]

I have not, and please don't repeat that to him because if anyone could punch me to the moon, it's probably that guy. I like him, I don't really want him to want to murder me.

[he neatly folds up the soon to be rug and starts to carry it back to the camp. He'll spread it out and get it drying and tanned.]

He seems like the kind of person you definitely don't want as an enemy. If it's any consolation the rest of us will be pretty pissed if he actually does chuck you into space.

[HE'S SO CALM ABOUT CARRYING SKIN AROUND OH GOD HOW Peter was not meant for nature can you tell]

That's... sweet? I think? I'm not gonna give him a reason to punch me into space though. I mean, on purpose.

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