[closed] and since we've one place to go

[nonscriptum]

Who: Nathan Drake, Elena Fisher, Agent Washington, Agent Maine, Kyna Midha, Staci Pratt, Poe Dameron, Taako Taaco, Lup Taaco, Peter Parker
What: Nate leads a polar expedition out to the mountains.
Where: Out on the tundra; at an undisclosed excavation site in the foothills.
When: February 1-14
Warnings: PG-13+ for swearing, descriptions of dead bodies/science torture. :(




[source]

WELCOME TO SNOW HELL

the journey | the door | the bunker | the lab

Comments

[pocketspa]

[YOU ARE SAFE NOW, MY CHILD, OWE HIM YOUR LIFE

Taako giggles, a lifting airy laugh of someone who knew exactly what was about to happen but is no less overjoyed by the result.]

So, tell me I'm better than Lup. Go on. Do it.

[itsnotaonesie]

[I MEAN

Hang on let Peter swallow the BEST BITE OF FOOD HE'S HAD SINCE HE ARRIVED IN GARBAGETOWN]

Okay.

Okay.

Until Lup comes along and makes a magic food that can rival this one, I will say that in this moment, you are better than Lup. Fair?

[pocketspa]

[He laughs, reaching out for a slice of his creation himself.]

Then you're gonna be holding that thought for a looooong time, my dude. She may be a good chef but she's the more uh, the burning part. Me, I'm the guy who can make anything into somethin'. Just be happy these things had enough edible shit in it for me not to use the big guns.

[itsnotaonesie]

[you know what taako you EARNED that magic pizza eat that shit]

I mean, you say that, but now you just got me all curious about just what these big guns are.

[pocketspa]

[Damn right!! He snickers as Peter asks though, taking a moment to savor what he's made before he answers.]

I mean, imagine if you were like, making a hot dog, and you put the dog and the bun in your hand, and when you closed it and opened it it was like, chicken cordon bleu. Or you made a sandwich out of snow and then it was a sandwich. Possibilities are endless, my dude.

[itsnotaonesie]

...So basically, that means that we brought a magic food wizard with us, one that can make food out of snow, but we're still living off of MREs.

[Taako. Buddy bro. Have you been holding out on us my dude.]

[pocketspa]

[you're damn right he has]

Mmmm, sounds like it.

[He just gives Peter a sly little smile and a shrug, like he's fucking Willy Wonka and this entire trip has been his tube of technicolor hell.]

But nobody asked, so.

[itsnotaonesie]

Hey, if I knew that food wizards even existed, I would have been all over that! Are you kidding me right now.

[The nerve of this elf asshole holy shit!!!!!!]

[pocketspa]

[He's the worst man in existence. It's why he's Nathan Drake's bestie.]

Look, you wanna be mad at someone be mad at Natey-boy. He's the one who invited me on this whole thing and like, he's learning magic from me, so he to-tally knew all of this. Isn't it like, expedition leader's point to get all the info everywhere or somethin'? Just saying

[itsnotaonesie]

You know what. At this point, I just blame everyone but me.

[How dare literally all of you!]

[pocketspa]

[He just giggles.]

Weeeeell, happy to be of service. Keep buttering me up and I'll keep your growing boy bod fed.

[Taako reaches forward and pokes at his tummy, for no other reason than it's fun and he's a menace.]

I mean, don't make me use all my slots on this or I won't also be able to blast the shit out of monsters, but y'know, tradeoffs.

[itsnotaonesie]

[Peter arches an eyebrow, but just lets Taako poke him. His tummy is more solid muscle than it is Pillsbury Dough Boy so I can't say how satisfying poking it will be?? But hey man whatever makes you happy.]

You know what, you keep my growing boy bod well fed and I'll fist fight all the monsters for you.

[That's a fair trade, right?]

[pocketspa]

[He actually isn't expecting it not to be squishy, so he giggles when it happens and Peter speaks, still grinning.]

Awww, strong boy, huh? Makes my life easier. You wanna run out there and get bitten, makes my life easier. 'Mm not a healer though so keep that shit in mind. Just come runnin' when you find something too big to kill and I'll disintegrate it for ya.

[He winks like it's a joke, when it decidedly isn't.]