hadriel_logs | Event Log: Speak Your Truth

Who: Everyone in the city
What: The event log for the Speak Your Truth
Where: All over the city
When: April 3rd-April 9th
Warnings: None

There's a secret burning in your chest. It's hot behind your ribcage, and you need to let it out or else it might consume you- but who would you tell? Who could even begin to understand what you need to say? Your closest friend? Your significant other? Maybe even someone you don't get along with very well? It's hard to know who to trust and who will even understand, but in a strange way, neither of those things seem to matter- all you can think of is what will cause someone the most pain.

Maybe you're trying to get it out in the open so you can put it behind you. Maybe you just need to come clean because the guilt is eating you alive. Maybe you just really want to hurt someone- regardless of the reason, you're aching to tell someone else your darkest secrets.

Will they understand? There's only one way to find out, and it won't be pleasant for either party involved. Good luck, Hadriel!

► This log covers April 3rd-April 9th.
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If your secret gets a bit bloody, please let us know here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'll drink it however, to be honest.
... But if you're in a generous mood, put as much sugar as you want in there.

[What can he say? He's secretly five years old.

Michael makes his way outside, away from where he's been hermitting to stay away from people. Normally he'd probably refuse the company, but this is Sal, and Sal always listens to him, so he should probably return the favor. Finally he finds Sal and the coffee cart through the thick underbush that's started to cover the city.]

Hey, uh, how's it going?

[Now that's an order Sal will know how to make with confidence.]

gotcha

[He'll get to work on that and be very generous with the sugar. He's not sure exactly how five year old Michael is so he at least tries to avoid making it to "tooth achingly sweet" levels of sugar.

By the time Michael arrives his coffee is ready.]

Hey. [He holds up the newly made coffee with plenty of sugar to offer Michael. He kind of wanted to...pace himself, or something. He's not really sure. It's weird to deal with this level of manipulation over his own emotions. But when Michael asks that question Sal feels like he's going to spill his guts like an upturned cup of coffee.] It's — it's going. I'm glad we're off the frozen over hell, to be honest.

[Michael takes the coffee and takes a sip.]

Perfect. Barely tastes like coffee, but doesn't taste like pure sugar.

[The way coffee should be.]

I'm liking this place better, too. I'm fine with winter, but not permanently.

[He waits what he thinks is an acceptable length of time.]

What, uh, what did you want to talk about?

[Sal smiles when Michael seems to like his sugary concoction. But after a moment that smile turns into a frown which manifests in the way he lowers his head a bit. Despite asking Michael to come here he still has this urge to push back whatever it is he wants to say while simultaneously wanting to let it out in some hideous, emotional game of tug-o-war.

Eventually the side of him that wants to spill everything wins over.]

I'm...I don't know. I guess I'm just really not sure how to deal with anything anymore. Someone really close to me left a while ago and I found out from a friend who left and came back that he didn't even remember Hadriel while he was back home. And some days I tell myself to just make everything here count, but other days I wonder what the point of it all is? And honestly, the thought that Tyki is home right now and doesn't even remember who I am...I know it's selfish but...it makes me really upset.

And I just...I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if we're all going to be okay at the end of this or if I'm even going to be around tomorrow. Or if my friends are going to be around tomorrow. I'm worried about people here and people at home and...

[After a moment he catches himself, embarrassed by that jumble of suppressed emotions he just dumped on to Michael.]

...Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to unload all of that on you.

[God, yeah, wow, that sure was a lot. Michael takes a moment to digest what he's hearing. He's never been great at bedside manner, which makes it a good thing that he works with the dead. But he's still going to try.]

Don't feel bad for saying all that, it's all pretty valid stuff.

[He hesitates for a second, but the event pushes him forward.]

A while back, Harlan disappeared. He went home, and there was nothing I could do about it. It messed me up pretty bad. I was terrified he wouldn't come back, but at the same time, I felt guilty for wishing this place on him again. I mean, isn't going home what we're trying to do here? And he wouldn't remember, so it's not like he'd miss me.

[He manages to stop himself for like, half a beat, but the words just keep coming.]

He came back a few days later, and ever since then, I just- I mean, we have a plan, we're going to try and be together after this, but there's always a chance that plan won't work, that we'll forget about each other and just live our lives as if we never existed. And that scares me probably more than anything, but at the same time I know that what's happening here and now, it matters. Maybe we will forget, but I mean... Everyone dies eventually, right? Everything ends. I'm just going to try and make the best of it while it's here.

[He finally manages to stop, and then sighs, running a hand through his hair.]

That- Sorry. That's probably not even that helpful. It doesn't even cover all of what you said. And... I'm sorry about your friend.

[Ah, right. Harlan had mentioned that he went back home at some point. He figured it would be hard on Michael so that's no surprise but Sal still hurts for him hearing him express as much now.]

No, no...that...it actually really is helpful. I've always said we should live the best lives we can in case it's the only ones we get. It's good to be reminded of that every now and again — when things get rough. I guess sometimes I get so overwhelmed I forget.

[He supposes, at the very least, that if everyone does forget everything then he won't have to feel sad about it. It's not actually a comfort. In fact, the thought further depresses him, because he would rather feel sad and miss his friends and hold on fast to the memories he made here than to have their existence wiped away from his mind. But it's...something...to think that that also means his friends won't be sad. That Tyki is just doing his thing at home and hopefully he's doing fine. And Dante too.]

You know, if anyone can figure out how to beat out the rules of multi-dimensional travel it's Harlan.

[Michael gives Sal a small smile.]

I hope so. I guess we've just gotta spend our time here figuring out how to make sure we don't forget. Maybe if we beat the Null, the gods'll give us our memories as a parting gift.

[Assuming they let them leave.]

You, uh, said you were worried about people back home, too. Did you leave some important situation behind?

Maybe they will.

[Sal sounds a little more hopeful about that. He kind of...trusts them? Some more than others, for sure, but there's a little glimmer of hope that they won't be shit out of luck in that department. That maybe there's still one thing that can be done about their memories.

He wants to hesitate at that question, but he doesn't.]

I did. It's just one of those things where you don't completely know what's going on...just that it's bad. Like, pretty bad. I spend half my time here trying to figure out what's happening at home and it's pretty distracting.

Event Log: Speak Your Truth

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