hadriel_logs | Event Log: Speak Your Truth

Who: Everyone in the city
What: The event log for the Speak Your Truth
Where: All over the city
When: April 3rd-April 9th
Warnings: None

There's a secret burning in your chest. It's hot behind your ribcage, and you need to let it out or else it might consume you- but who would you tell? Who could even begin to understand what you need to say? Your closest friend? Your significant other? Maybe even someone you don't get along with very well? It's hard to know who to trust and who will even understand, but in a strange way, neither of those things seem to matter- all you can think of is what will cause someone the most pain.

Maybe you're trying to get it out in the open so you can put it behind you. Maybe you just need to come clean because the guilt is eating you alive. Maybe you just really want to hurt someone- regardless of the reason, you're aching to tell someone else your darkest secrets.

Will they understand? There's only one way to find out, and it won't be pleasant for either party involved. Good luck, Hadriel!

► This log covers April 3rd-April 9th.
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If your secret gets a bit bloody, please let us know here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Drake wraps both arms around Ephemera, holds him there. Listens. And when he hears that Chica and Hunter beat the shit out of "Magpie," his voice is low and vehement, almost satisfied. Almost. Because it's not enough, but it has to be. ]

Good. I'm glad they did -- and I'm glad you had them.

[ He keeps holding on. ]

You know I'd never... if I do anything that reminds you of him just let me know. I know it wasn't your choice to tell me now, but if there's something I should avoid, I will.

[ There's no hesitation. Ephemera closes his good eye and just breathes. There's comfort in their proximity, in being held. There were years where Ephemera never touched anyone without violence but now there's Drake, who accepts that and doesn't care. Drake who's always been patient and kind and - fuck.

Ephemera loves him so much. ]

You're nothing like him. Nothing.

[ That's a relief to hear. Drake lets out a breath, but there's that strange feeling settling over him again. That pressure to say something, and he doesn't actually know what would come out of his mouth if he gave in to it. But after what Ephemera just confessed, the amount of trust involved there... maybe he just needs to let go and have faith. The other man could've just fought the impulse the whole event, and he didn't. ]

God, I'd hope not. But I think I've got to tell you something, too.

[ He gives Ephemera a little squeeze. ]

Are you okay to hear it? Or should I hold off?

Seems like it's going around.

[ He lifts his head a little, trying to give Drake a little smile, some reassurance that this thing wasn't completely awful. It hurt and it will probably hurt for a while afterward, but there was a sense of relief too. Like right after getting a bone set, when the ache was still kicking in but the persistent wrong feeling was gone.

It's a start. And he didn't lie. He told the truth and it hurt, yeah, it hurt like hell, but it was real.

Ephemera nods slowly. He likes being held. Feels safer that way, in the aftermath. ]

Yeah. I'm - I think I'll be okay, now.

[ Drake smiles back, and it comes a little more easily than Ephemera's seemed to. He's been out dealing with this all day, after all, and nothing imploded on him... he'd rather not hold it back. But when he opens his mouth again, it comes out much more harshly than he'd thought it was going to. ]

I can't live like this.

[ Yeah that was bad. Let him try again. ]

Not us, we're fine. It's me. How I am, it's... more than just being sick of it. I'm staying this way to protect people better but it's also a huge risk every time something goes wrong with the gods, or I make a wrong call, I don't even think of myself as a person half the time... and it's a miracle I haven't infected you yet. So this might be the worst timing ever, I might just be setting myself up to die horribly, but I can't keep going this way.

[ That gets a reaction, Ephemera's shoulders going tense before Drake has a chance to explain. He breathes and he listens, because Drake listened to him through all of that shit, and because the two of them don't work unless they work together.

Ephemera is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he nods. ]

All right. What'd we need to do?

[ He feels Ephemera tense up and gives an apologetic squeeze, because it really did come out alarmingly. ]

I guess I talk to Hope? See if he can do it at all, how much work it would take on my end. I think Lup had to inspire hope in like a half dozen people, so that'd take some thought.

[ And then because he doesn't want Ephemera to worry, he'll puzzle through a bit more of it out loud. ]

...it's not the end of the world if he can't, either. I'm not about to off myself or anything, I just want a light at the end of the zombie tunnel. I want to not have to worry about it anymore, either here or if we can go somewhere else together.

[ It's a bit easier to think of it like a logistics issue. There's a problem and it needs to be solved one way or another. So what do they have and what do they need in order to make that happen? Ephemera tips his head back, thinking. Drake's going through it logically, too. Considering prior events, what the gods have done before and what might be done again. Circumstances have made that trickier lately, but that's nothing new. ]

They should be able to do it, >small>[ Ephemera says after a moment. ] After Lup -- man, I still don't know shit about magic. But I know Kyna and Washington. I think they'd help, if I asked.

You're not going it alone. Whatever happens.

[ Drake goes quiet again, thinking, a soft smile on his face at the thought of Ephemera and his friends wanting to help. ]

I might have to do the inspiring myself, and it might not work as well if people show up expecting me to be trying to make them feel hopeful. I'm not sure how to go about it, to be honest. This is why I always make deals with Love.

But I know I'm not alone. I've never been alone as long as you were around. I can ask if other people can try, too, on my behalf?

Gods, man.

[ It's still pretty fucking weird that this is their life right now. Ephemera tries to roll with it as best he can, but still. Ephemera nods, thoughtful. ]

Good. It's important you know that. And yeah, see if the gods will spring for it.

[ Take every advantage, and all that. ]

Gods.

[ Drake agrees with a little huff of... not disbelief, but amazement that this is their lives. This is their normal. But if he can make this happen, it doesn't have to be. Not forever. They could have a future somewhere else... together. It's a risk, but it seems worth taking. Even if it also still feels selfish, if he's gone back and forth on it for ages now because of that. Maybe he's allowed to be. Maybe this confession was the kick he needed to actually do it.

He presses his forehead against Ephemera's, ignoring that they're sitting on the kitchen floor for a moment longer, and finds himself feeling hopeful. That must be a good sign, right? ]

I can't remember the last time I said thank you, so I'm just gonna say it again. For never giving up on me.

[ That gets a little smile and Ephemera closes his good eye, exhaling. There was a time he'd assumed something like this would never happen to him, not after his squad. They'd been family, his notion of love - everything that mattered. And then he'd been the aftermath, standing alone. There'd been nothing left except the rage and he'd fully expected to burn along with his targets. There'd been comfort in the symmetry of it all.

But then, of course, there was Drake.

Ephemera knows he doesn't always get it right. He makes promises when their world is all uncertainty. But he has this moment, the two of them sharing space and intimate touch. And that's enough, in the end. ]

Right back at you.

Event Log: Speak Your Truth

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