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hadriel_logs2019-04-27 10:40 pm
volitaunt) wrote in hadriel_logs2019-04-27 10:40 pm
Entry tags:
[closed] And we want everything to end, just like Nostradamus said
Who: Poe Dameron and Nathan Drake
What: Two nerdy boys exploring the jungle, also angst and bonding.
Where: The jungle around Hadriel
When: Backdated to after the new arrivals
Warnings: None at the moment. Angst, possible thoughts of torture and mental violation.
[ He thought about just sending Nate a message, canceling their plans, taking--ha ha--a rain check on their jungle adventures. Keep things light and at a distance and just not expose himself to other people until he was more sure of himself, more sure of his emotional self-control. (Like he's ever had much of that.)
He didn't cancel, though. He didn't cancel, even after the first night of sleeping with John's familiar breathing in the dark. He pulled out his phone at least three times in the dark, selected his way to Nate's inbox, and then put it away.
Because as long as John was in their apartment, Poe wanted excuses to get out.
It's not just about John. Poe's pretty sure of that. There's been something hovering at a dangerous distance for a while now, a shadow that he's been able to ignore, because even more than Riverview, Hadriel is just one damn thing after another.
And it's familiar. It's too familiar. The unstoppable force, the hilariously small numbers standing against it, the people who need protecting and don't have a hope of real safety.
Its dead teenagers looking for another world to go home to, it's friends being attacked and tortured by monsters who seem determined to follow him and Finn from universe to universe, it's being a food source for creatures powerful enough to ruin their lives and too weak to save them.
But whatever held it back evaporated when he saw John Sheppard standing in the rain when he should have been at home.
Whatever held it back disappeared when Poe started to wonder again, again, again, if he and Finn and Rey will ever find their way home. Rey he has more hope for. She's only once removed from where they started. But him and Finn?
He's so deep in his own head he doesn't really notice Nate until he's right on top of him, and he has to stumble back a step to avoid just... walking into the guy. ]
Sorry! I was, uh. I was thinking.
What: Two nerdy boys exploring the jungle, also angst and bonding.
Where: The jungle around Hadriel
When: Backdated to after the new arrivals
Warnings: None at the moment. Angst, possible thoughts of torture and mental violation.
[ He thought about just sending Nate a message, canceling their plans, taking--ha ha--a rain check on their jungle adventures. Keep things light and at a distance and just not expose himself to other people until he was more sure of himself, more sure of his emotional self-control. (Like he's ever had much of that.)
He didn't cancel, though. He didn't cancel, even after the first night of sleeping with John's familiar breathing in the dark. He pulled out his phone at least three times in the dark, selected his way to Nate's inbox, and then put it away.
Because as long as John was in their apartment, Poe wanted excuses to get out.
It's not just about John. Poe's pretty sure of that. There's been something hovering at a dangerous distance for a while now, a shadow that he's been able to ignore, because even more than Riverview, Hadriel is just one damn thing after another.
And it's familiar. It's too familiar. The unstoppable force, the hilariously small numbers standing against it, the people who need protecting and don't have a hope of real safety.
Its dead teenagers looking for another world to go home to, it's friends being attacked and tortured by monsters who seem determined to follow him and Finn from universe to universe, it's being a food source for creatures powerful enough to ruin their lives and too weak to save them.
But whatever held it back evaporated when he saw John Sheppard standing in the rain when he should have been at home.
Whatever held it back disappeared when Poe started to wonder again, again, again, if he and Finn and Rey will ever find their way home. Rey he has more hope for. She's only once removed from where they started. But him and Finn?
He's so deep in his own head he doesn't really notice Nate until he's right on top of him, and he has to stumble back a step to avoid just... walking into the guy. ]
Sorry! I was, uh. I was thinking.
no subject
Their vulnerability isn't a nagging thorn in their collective side, but a massive eyesore. An open wound begging for the nearest asshole to reach for the salt. Despite the city's attempts at adaptation in the vines and plants that have begun to grow over the perimeter, Nate isn't convinced that camouflage will be enough.
Things have changed since they got here, more than the physical location, more than the weather. Nate would have a hard time describing it as anything but the electrical charge that hangs in the air, dense and humid, before a storm. Anticipation, now that they all know what the stakes really are.
He's drifting in thoughts of his own when Poe nearly bumps into him. ]
Hey.
[ He quirks a smile, crooked and forgiving. Everything okay? is too loaded a question to ask, because it's clear that something is weighing on him. ]
You ready for a hike with 90% humidity?
no subject
The thing is, there isn't a lot he can do, and that's part of the problem. The shelters they're building in the city, the weak camouflage, the science or magic projects going on that he can't do anything to assist with. He's at loose ends, and it's going to drive him insane. ]
Yeah. [ SUCH ENTHUSIASM WOW. ]
no subject
To a point. ]
Yeah, I thought we could take a walk, fight a jaguar with our bare hands, lick some poisonous frogs...
[ He continues conversationally, giving Poe a pointed look. ]
You know. Normal stuff.
no subject
He punches Nate lightly on the shoulder. Which is arguably not a fair response, but it is the response Nate gets. ]
I swore that would never work on me and you made me liar.
no subject
[ Nate overacts a wince from the punch, swaying to one side wearing something between a grimace and a grin as he rubs his shoulder. ]
That sounds like a you problem. Gonna join me in the present, now, or what?
no subject
Thank Shara Bey for that one. Her son inherited her build and her hair. ]
Just thinking about the new people, what they're walking into.
[ It's not a lie, presactly. Of course it's not the whole truth, but he doesn't feel like unloading all of that right now. ]
Head out to the north, sweep east?
no subject
We're always walking into something.
[ He reminds Poe, not unkindly. As if the universe sought to emphasize his statement, Nate turns and promptly runs into a tree.
He takes an embarrassing moment to pretend he didn't just shoulder-check a banyan before clearing his throat and gesturing between the draping vines. ]
After you, Doctor Livingstone.
no subject
He claps Nate on the shoulder as he walks past. ] No idea who that is. But I do know there are better ways to leave an impression.
[ HAR DEE HAR HAR.
Poe breathes in the thick, damp air of the jungle, feeling a mixture of relief and homesickness as they get a little further into the foliage. When they leave Hadriel far enough behind, he can almost imagine that this really is home. That he'll come out the other end of the jungle to his father will be at their door calling him in for dinner.
That too easily leads back to dark places, lonely and dangerous places, and he focuses on climbing over a slick tumble of stones that line a tiny waterfall instead.
He shoves a clump of vines aside and holds it back long enough for Nate to grab it for himself. ] You and Sam ever do things like this? Hiking, that kind of thing? My dad and I did it all the time.
no subject
[ As the foremost expert in running into shit, Nate isn't basking in humiliation for long. He follows, and fortunately they say nothing more about it.
Since they arrived in this new locale Nate has made the most of the time they have, understanding the terrain and grateful that it doesn't change itself, grateful that he has the opportunity to make maps that might actually be of use to them. The hours outside have done wonders for his mood as well, in spite of the impending disaster they're all coming up on. Nate doesn't know whether it's denial or acceptance, or somewhere in between.
He grasps the vines firmly, getting his footing. ]
Not really?
[ Nate can't remember hiking for the sake of hiking except when he had free time on his own. ]
We'd explore places, sure, but mostly we were just concerned about where the next meal was coming from, what the next big score was gonna be. Spent a lot of time outside, but...I don't think we hiked in the "traditional" sense.
no subject
If there was a word that twisted together lucky and sad, it would probably be something close to that.
Poe pauses to pull a clump of leaves close to his face and just breathes in that delicious green smell. ]
What did you do for fun?
no subject
He isn't sure what he wants to share. Busking gives off the impression that he and Sam were needy - they were, but it leaves a sour taste in his mouth, that it might garner pity. ]
I'd draw. Visit new cities and climb buildings. Did a lot of reading and research.
[ Nate pauses at the edge of a large rock, shooting Poe a grin over his shoulder. ]
I wanted to be an explorer. Taught myself languages so I could travel. Meet people, see amazing places.
no subject
Never had the patience to draw. To be good at it, anyway. I was always building things, working with machines. I memorized the blueprints or had droids scan them for me. Climbing tall things, though, that we have in common.
[ He climbs up to join Nate. ]
I joined the Navy for a lot of the same reasons. See the galaxy, learn about new places. New skies.
[ He joined because of his mom, really. His backup career was going to be with interplanetary racing rings if the Navy hadn't worked out, but what he really wanted to do was serve the government she had helped create. ]
Your brother go with you?
no subject
It doesn't surprise him that Poe was looking to get out, become more well-rounded. They've talked about it before, albeit not at great length. ]
Uh- no.
[ Maybe a couple of years ago this would have been harder to talk about. Before he learned that his brother was alive. Nate suddenly becomes very interested in a cluster of vines dangling at his right. ]
No, he- I actually thought he was dead, for about fifteen years. Really only learned he wasn't a couple weeks before I came here.
no subject
Oh.
[ Poe slides down the other side of the rock, trying to think of how to reply to that. ]
Uh. Well. Congratulations?
no subject
It's fine.
[ Wait, that's a lie. ]
I mean, it's not fine - the only reason he got to me is because the guy who broke him out of prison is this...notoriously brutal crime lord who wants him to find this treasure we'd been looking for once, when we were younger. They call the guy "the Butcher of Panama." Gave Sam three months to get the job done. It's what we were doing before I showed up in Hadriel.
no subject
Well. There's something to look forward to when you get home.
[ Poe keeps climbing along, this time up a small hill alongside a second stream, slipping a few times and getting his ankles muddy along the way. The mess is... weirdly comforting. ]
What is it you do anyhow? You're a treasure hunter? Is Elena one too?
no subject
He plods through the stream without making much effort at avoiding the water. ]
Used to be. I do marine salvage. It's using diving equipment to pull stuff up from underwater. [ Totally thrilling, totally fun stuff, like cargo boxes that have fallen off of semi trucks, chock-full of treasures like copper wire. ] Elena's a writer, but she used to be a journalist. Foreign correspondent.
[ A lot of used to bes in this explanation, huh? Nate pulls a vague grimace. ]
Been trying to stay legal. Had a long career of not being legal, so old habits are hard to break.
no subject
Why'd you quit?