[Even what little distance is between them feels like too much right now. Adam doesn't want to press anything on to Ronan, doesn't want him to feel trapped or forced into anything, but he also doesn't think he'll be able to relax if they aren't in contact somehow.
And, more than that, he wants to hold on to Ronan. He wants to feel him, to know that he's real, that he's not going anywhere. That whatever else might have happened, Ronan survived. Adam hasn't lost him, not yet, hopefully not ever. Not because of the demon or because of what he did or because of - any of a number of things.
He reaches out, catches Ronan's arm, pulls him closer. His hand slides up, fingers curling around the base of Ronan's skull, the back of his neck, leading him gently so that Ronan can lay his head on Adam's shoulder if he wants to. Only if he wants to. Otherwise, Adam will move back, give him space on the pillow, let him have what distance he needs.
But he can't let go completely. Maybe it's selfish, but he needs to hold on to Ronan somehow, some little piece of comfort for himself, even while he wants to give everything else to Ronan. Adam slips an arm around his waist, resting his palm against Ronan's back. He wants to hold Ronan there - honestly, he wants to cling to him as if Ronan might disappear at any second - but he forces himself not to. He just rests his hand there, instead, giving him enough slack to move away if he wants.
It's a struggle between Adam's selfish need to hold tightly to him and his desire to give Ronan whatever space he needs, but in the end, Ronan's needs will win out. Adam wants, more than anything, to be there for him, and if that means backing off, he will.]
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And, more than that, he wants to hold on to Ronan. He wants to feel him, to know that he's real, that he's not going anywhere. That whatever else might have happened, Ronan survived. Adam hasn't lost him, not yet, hopefully not ever. Not because of the demon or because of what he did or because of - any of a number of things.
He reaches out, catches Ronan's arm, pulls him closer. His hand slides up, fingers curling around the base of Ronan's skull, the back of his neck, leading him gently so that Ronan can lay his head on Adam's shoulder if he wants to. Only if he wants to. Otherwise, Adam will move back, give him space on the pillow, let him have what distance he needs.
But he can't let go completely. Maybe it's selfish, but he needs to hold on to Ronan somehow, some little piece of comfort for himself, even while he wants to give everything else to Ronan. Adam slips an arm around his waist, resting his palm against Ronan's back. He wants to hold Ronan there - honestly, he wants to cling to him as if Ronan might disappear at any second - but he forces himself not to. He just rests his hand there, instead, giving him enough slack to move away if he wants.
It's a struggle between Adam's selfish need to hold tightly to him and his desire to give Ronan whatever space he needs, but in the end, Ronan's needs will win out. Adam wants, more than anything, to be there for him, and if that means backing off, he will.]