unknowable: (could call my heart its home)
Aᴅᴀᴍ Pᴀʀʀɪsʜ ([personal profile] unknowable) wrote in [community profile] hadriel_logs2016-06-10 08:13 pm

gold light shining on so many things

Who: The Raven boys and Blue ([personal profile] quaerit, [personal profile] ampliat, [personal profile] greywaren, [personal profile] unknowable, [personal profile] casperdisaster) + anyone else who drops in!
What: Gansey, Blue, Adam, and Ronan disappeared for a few days and return having suffered a both traumatic and pleasant canon update
Where: House 1303 and around Hadriel
When: 6/10-ish
Warnings: Swearing, the effects of trauma, heightened teenage emotions, probably kissing (that hopefully will not kill anyone), definitely TRK spoilers



[Feel free to make your own starter and tag others, and for non-canonmates dropping by to welcome CR back - feel free to tag in anywhere that isn't specifically closed to someone!]
quaerit: sᴄᴏᴜᴛsɪxᴛᴇᴇɴ.ᴄᴏᴍ. (e c c e n t r i c i t y)

[personal profile] quaerit 2016-07-22 06:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ Gansey knows it's a loss. It's the very loss they had all been trying to prevent, that he had been trying to prevent. He had wanted to stop the demon before it could destroy the forest. Before it could destroy Ronan and all that he'd made.

He'd been successful in part, but not in the whole. He can feel the remnant of the forest inside him, giving understanding where before there had been questions. He can feel time slipping - like it always has, like it always will, because Cabeswater has always been a part of his timeline, in a way. It's just been made real now.
]

You were its hands and eyes. You sacrificed yourself to it. You knew its power.

[ Adam had known it. He'd known the forest, and because of that, Gansey knows this means a loss for him. It means the shattering of one bond to preserve another. Even if that had been - or would be, Adam's choice, it's not an easy one. ]

I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted it. I still...can't really believe that I'm talking to you, after it all. I was ready to die.

[ He'd been ready to accept death. He hadn't wanted to, but he'd been willing to. It's jarring, after coming to that place, that he's now moved outside of it. He makes himself breathe. ]

I can't even tell you how long I've been afraid of that. I can't believe it's over, but...Adam, I'm so sorry for Cabeswater. If I could have saved it, you know that I would.
quaerit: sᴄᴏᴜᴛsɪxᴛᴇᴇɴ.ᴄᴏᴍ. (Default)

[personal profile] quaerit 2016-08-04 02:55 am (UTC)(link)

[ They had asked, and Cabeswater had given. Gansey remembers them talking about the forest, agreeing that they felt responsibility to it, and setting out to save it. Instead of that, it had saved Gansey. The Demon had eaten so much of it away, but it had given from what it had left.

There’s a lot of grief that comes with that. But Cabeswater is a part of Gansey now. In a way, it always was; he just hadn’t known it, hadn’t had access to that knowledge. In a way, it’s a part of all of them; Ronan had given it shape, Adam had given it agency. Both Gansey and Blue had been grown from it, in their different ways. No wonder it had meant so much, to all of them. Somewhere, its consciousness still exists, waiting to live again. It’s part of them, but bigger than all of them. ]

It’s never really gone. I can still feel it, Adam.

[ He means that to be a comfort, but he doesn’t know if it is. He sinks into his friend’s arms all the same, and lets himself be reassured by the solidity, by the warmth. After a moment his chin leans against Adam’s shoulder. ]

I think I can stop running now. It’s okay. [ Pulling back, he gives Adam a little smile. ] You were right. You saved me after all.

quaerit: sᴄᴏᴜᴛsɪxᴛᴇᴇɴ.ᴄᴏᴍ. (l i s t e n i n g)

[personal profile] quaerit 2016-08-06 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ At that, Gansey manages to smile. ]

No. No, I think we've had quite enough sacrifices for one year. I want to live.

I want to move on from this.

[ When he says 'this', he doesn't just mean dying. He doesn't just mean the sacrifice, or Cabeswater, or any of that. He means the quest as a whole. He means Glendower. It hadn't ended the way he wanted it to, and everything that happened afterwards was an overly dramatic mess.

But now it's done. He had been wrong; there is life for him after Glendower, and he intends to make the most of it.
]

Granted it's difficult to do that while we're here, but. This is a new beginning. I want it to be. This isn't something I want to waste.
quaerit: sᴄᴏᴜᴛsɪxᴛᴇᴇɴ.ᴄᴏᴍ. (Default)

[personal profile] quaerit 2016-08-12 04:42 am (UTC)(link)

[ If Gansey could have chosen, he would not have started his new beginning here in this place. There’s been so much danger around all of them for so long. He had been dreaming of a normal life, for maybe the first time ever; a life where he wasn’t on a quest, where he wasn’t seeking, where he might be able to travel with Henry and Blue, and go to toga parties, and do things that normal kids his age got to do.

Instead he’s here. But Adam is right. It’s a lot better than it could have been. ]

We’ll find a way out of here. We have to, we know that it’s possible. We just need to make sure that it sticks. After everything, Adam, I’m not going to spend my life here. None of us are.

[ It’s not about needing to go back and finish something. It’s about having a life to live, and getting back to it. ]

We are going home.

quaerit: sᴄᴏᴜᴛsɪxᴛᴇᴇɴ.ᴄᴏᴍ. (g l a z e d)

[personal profile] quaerit 2016-08-20 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ Gansey nods, affirming that in himself. This won’t be forever. This will be as long as this lasts, but they didn’t go through what they’d just gone through to end up trapped in another cave. Gansey has a life to live, and he intends on living it.

Resolving himself to that, he looks around. The place looks exactly the same. Potentially more messy than they’d left it, although that kind of thing can be hard to tell in a house full of boys. ]

More or less. I’ll have to find my journal again.

[ It should be here; he doesn’t think he had his messenger bag on him when he left. ]

We need to get our heads around this again. Maybe go and scavenge. I can’t actually believe we’re back to that reality.
quaerit: sᴄᴏᴜᴛsɪxᴛᴇᴇɴ.ᴄᴏᴍ. (l i s t e n i n g)

[personal profile] quaerit 2016-08-24 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
[ Gansey nods. Yes, they should probably do that. They need to re-orient themselves, because this place is never exactly easy for anyone. He needs to get his head away from everything that's happened the last few days - away from everything that happened last night - and focus himself again.

He doesn't really want to. There's a part of him that wants to sit on the sofa as just dwell on it all, until it becomes a part of his psyche that he can understand.

That wouldn't be helpful. He runs his hand through his hair.
]

Yes. We probably should, that would be...

We should do that. I'll find that journal. ]

And get changed, maybe. He's still wearing Henry's sweater. ]