( log eight | open and closed | your voice, so much i miss you )

[dedikated]

Who: Kate & Anyone but a few people specifically ( Faith, Glacius, Sam )
What: Post-revival / Catchall log for the rest of Oct!
Where: Hope's Temple | The City | The Bar | The Clinic etc.
When: from the 15th onwards!
Warnings: Angst. Death mentions. Lots of yelling. Probably other things.

( starters in the comments! if you wanna wildcard, just start a top level )

Comments

[dedikated]

Kate's lips quirk at the description. Well, no one ever drank a Long Island to stay sober, did they? She swirls the glass in her hand, half-full (or is that empty?) as it is, watching the liquid swell and crash against the glass.

Should she be this okay with dying? With coming back? Everyone else seemed to have stayed alive, which was the point of it all, right? And the discussions that have been had-

They were needed, regardless of the pain. That's what she believes.

(Needs to believe. She can't think about the other things. There isn't time for that.)

"Aye. It-" well. "Didn't hurt. In one piece. No one else died." Still able to drink alcohol. Which is important. "Could be worse, right?" she asks that more to her drink than Rosie.

[hasitsthorns]

Fortunately and unfortunately, Rose's physiology doesn't allow her to get inebriated as quickly as other people. She wishes she could still stomach enough alcohol to actually get drunk, but... As it is, she's going through all this bullshit the equivalent of stone cold sober.

"You did though," Rose says. "That's still important, you know." Take it from the woman who's wanted to die. Who has tried to die. Who failed and saw how important she was to the people around her, how important she was despite thinking the opposite for almost her entire life. It's staggering.

"At least you died for a better cause." Rose was just selfish. The one time she was selfish, it was the most devastating way possible. Kind of puts into context why she still puts everyone before her today. "Glad it wasn't, like, dying dying. The ultimate sacrifice and all that jazz."

[dedikated]

That would suck, although dealing with all this bullshit hungover is probably worse, in the short-term, at least. So that's one positive to take away from it all? Kate's eyes don't slip away from her glass, although they're less focused then before, sliding into some far off stare for a moment too long.

So everyone keeps telling her. It's strange to think about it, having spent so many years convinced that her only real purpose was to live to protect others. To eventually die protecting them. In a way, perhaps it'd be easier to have been dying dying, what she expected. Not having to deal with any of this- the questions, the concern, the arguments. Maybe eventually discovering whether all those old stories about an afterlife held any truth to them-

Maybe she'd finally see her family again.

"S'pose it could always be that." She manages a smile, a quirk of her lips. It could be worse. And for the most part she's glad to have this chance-

it's just. Difficult. In ways she doesn't want to think about.

[hasitsthorns]

Well, Rose knows what the afterlife is... and she also knows it isn't for her. It's for human souls, not demon ones. Where demon souls go isn't something she wants to think about.

"Well, like I said, I'm glad it wasn't." For what it's worth. Probably not a lot since she doesn't actually know Kate well, but still couldn't help but want to, well. Help.

"Still, dying blows. I'm sorry."

[dedikated]

"You died?" It sounds like such an odd question to be asked so casually, but months in a place like this changes the gravity of it all. Dying in a place like this changes the gravity of it all.

She sips her drink slowly. Is that jaded, to consider death differently now? Too complacent?

[hasitsthorns]

"Three times, actually." She's just gonna knock back that entire long island, by the way.

"Once in my home world, twice in Haven." Her first death was supposed to be permanent but then she'd woken up in Haven. At the time, she'd been entirely fine with the deal. Then Super Boy crushed her skull. In his defense, she'd tried to tear out his throat. She was a lot less okay with that. The last time was also supposed to be permanent, but... Then she'd woken up in Hadriel.

Part of her wonders if these aren't just different layers of Hell. Then she drinks so she doesn't think about that too much.

"Haven't bit it here yet. Hoping not to, honestly. It gets kind of... tiring."

[dedikated]

That is pretty damn impressive. Remind Kate to invite you drinking sometime, Rosiegirl.

She waits until Rosie is done speaking to say anything. Dying once had been enough of an experience, even if - so far - she feels fine about it. The pain of reviving - physically, that is - was enough to deter her from wanting to die again any time soon.

(Not that she wanted to die in the first place, but at the time it seemed like the best solution.)

"More times than anyone should die." Death should be a permanent thing, really. Kind of the point of the whole thing, isn't it?

[hasitsthorns]

She'd like that, actually.

"Yeah. Some people might think I'm going for a record," she says with a huff of laughter. The one time Rose had meant to die she hadn't... then realized she didn't. She wanted to live, she wanted to do better.

It's hard to keep that in mind sometimes. But she's at least been actively avoiding death in Hadriel if only because she doesn't want to face the fact she might be more upset another revival more than anything else.

"But I mean, I've been there. So. Y'know. I don't mind talking about it, if it helps. And if you don't wanna' talk about it, I don't mind just sitting here talking about anything else because sometimes that helps too."

[dedikated]

It'll have to happen, then.

"Anything but," she answers automatically. There's been more than enough talk of her death, more than enough dissection of it, simply by being around the people she's closest to here.

Having a moment to forget that it happened, that those people were genuinely hurt by something she didn't even think about, would be best.

She gestures to the bartender for a refill as she drains the last of her glass.

[hasitsthorns]

"Anything but it is!" Since, hey, Rose has been there. Sometimes the best thing to do is to not talk about it. ... At least not immediately. Letting things fester too long becomes toxic, it poisons the person to the point that they can't be cured. Rose knows this too.

"So what do you do for fun in the cave?" That seems like a safe topic.

[dedikated]

Her lips quirk in something that's not quite a smile, but is silent gratitude for the small talk instead.

Taking a sip of her new drink, Kate shrugs and swivels slightly on her stool to look at Rose a bit better. "I run, mostly. Come here sometimes." Maybe too often, but still. "What about you?"

[hasitsthorns]

"Well, I used to play guitar. A wave of her not-hand indicates why that's a problem; her still intact one continues holding onto the drink. "Now I just sing, mostly, and try to help out where I can. Been spending a lot of time in orchard."

It's peaceful there. It gives her a reprieve from the insanity that can be Hadriel some days. The insanity that the realization of 'this is my life now' brings.

"My packmate used to run. I should get back into it. If you don't mind someone tagging along?"

[dedikated]

Yeah. That might be a problem. Maybe. But Kate gets needing peace, even if she doesn't find it in stillness, for the most part. Strolling through the orchard does nothing to get her out of her head, unlike running. Even the dead air of this place goes fast enough that it beats all the noises out of her brain.

Kate rolls her shoulders in a shrug. "Not opposed to heights, are you?" Because, well, most of her running involves the rooftops and ruins of this place.

[hasitsthorns]

Protecting the orchard gives Rose a sense of purpose, if nothing else. Just like with Haven, she has to find something to keep herself useful or else existential dread set in.

"Not at all, actually." Just as long as she's in control of herself at said heights. Being stabbed and kicked out of a highrise? Not a fun time. Though that'd been a... unique situation.

[dedikated]

Not like there's much else to do, and even without the things that drive both of them to distract themselves - Kate with the clinic as much as running around the city, and Rose with the orchard -, staying here for so long without anything to do must drive anyone mad.

Kate grins, a brief little thing, and takes a sip of her drink. "Can give it a go, then." She needs more people to challenge to rooftop races.

[hasitsthorns]

It's nice. Routine is nice. Rose needs something to help keep her feeling useful, like she has a purpose... If she loses that, she starts to lose everything she's worked for since the end of Haven. She starts to lose the point of everything, including her own existence.

It's not a fun time.

She promised Hiruma she wouldn't let it come to that though, but she can't do it alone. So even though Kate doesn't realize it, she's helping. However small, she's making sure Rose doesn't hit rock bottom again.

"Alright! I'll do my best to keep up."

[dedikated]

At that, Kate lifts her glass in a brief toast. It's agreed, then. They can start running together, and Kate can have more running partners. If she's lucky, maybe Rose will even be able to give her more of a challenge than Faith does.

(That's not a bad thing, Faith can hit far harder than Kate ever could. They just have different strengths.)

"Sounds good."