Flick's idea of a good time is doing chores

[saltrock_imp]

Who: Flick and Ulaume
What: Flick and Lor talk
Where: Hara house (1402)
When: January 2
Warnings: talk of rape

Flick wanted nothing more than to throw open all the windows and do a good spring cleaning. Scrub everything down, wash the now perfectly fine windows (thanks so much Lor) and finish up with cooking a good meal. That way when Cal and Pell got finished rooning each others brains out in the next room they'd have something to eat. At least they went into their room. It was considerate, not rooning each other in the middle of the floor. Not that Flick would have minded too much but he wanted to mop the floor and if they were busy on it he'd have to go back and finish that spot later.

As it was, Flick was dressed in a shirt and a skirt, a broom in hand with a mop resting on a nearby wall as backup. It seems the Sarock was having some problems relaxing. Or perhaps to Flick, this was relaxing. 

Comments

[sarestes]

Hey, he wasn't in his right mind... and helped replace them once he regained his senses. It's the least he could do. He didn't go so far as to help anyone else out with their windows, though.

One can be relaxed while doing chores, and after days of this strange new scenery and emotional manipulation... cleaning still has to be done. No one's stupid enough to let Ulaume help with the cooking if there's any other possible option, so he's doing his part now.

Well. He was. He's had a good run of actually being productive, before he gets distracted. (Blame the two idiots in their room, inspiring feelings.)

Graceful hands run up Flick's sides, suddenly. Hello hello.

[saltrock_imp]

Flick jumped slightly, his muscles tensing for a second before they relaxed and he leaned into his chesnari. He leaned his head against Lor's shoulders, breathing in the scent of him. He probably should be irritated, but Ulaume had helped and they probably could use a break. Especially considering how damned distracted Cal and Pell were being at the moment. He could hear them, he could feel them, the walls weren't doing do much.

Flick's breath caught in his chest and he looked around for some place to put the broom because he was not going to let it clatter to the floor.

[sarestes]

Hah. Oh, Flick, always so careful. He takes the broom away from the smaller har, gently, and then tosses it to the floor. Go on, make some noise. Cal and Pell won't even notice. They're far, far too busy, making their own noise.

"I'm sick of cleaning."

[saltrock_imp]

Cal probably wouldn't notice when they were done making noise. He'd just step over the damn thing. That is if they ever emerged from their roon. Then probably their post-roon cigarette. The smaller har sighed as the broom clattered to the floor. Oh well, he could probably use a break. Lor had been very good too.

"You are, are you?" Flick smirked at the other har, like he had no idea what Ulaume had in mind.

"And what would you like to do instead?"

[sarestes]

"Anything."

Seriously, cleaning does suck. It's an endless, thankless task, because something is always filthy. But yes, he does have one specific something on his mind. His hands return to Flick's sides, chin resting on Flick's shoulder for the moment. Mm, warm.

[saltrock_imp]

Flick let himself surrender to Ulaume's touch. Despite his assertion that he was up for anything, he had a pretty good idea what his chesnari was interested in doing. He turned around so he was facing Lor, arms wrapped around his neck.

"Lor?" He had to do this. Right? It would be so much easier to just lose himself in Ulaume and talk about it later. But later was not a good idea. He'd told Cal. What possessed him to do that?

"Do you remember...." Okay, no, that was not the way he was going to start this. Of course Ulaume remembered. He took a deep breath, not wanting to deal with this at all. Couldn't they just roon on the kitchen table?

" I did something. Probably stupid."

[sarestes]

Yes, couldn't they? He's groaning mentally and not quite shielding his mind from Flick. You have to have A Moment now, really? When he's starting to get warmed up?

One last nuzzle into Flick's neck and then he takes the bait. He'll ask. "What kind of 'something stupid'?"

[saltrock_imp]

Flick shuddered, wanting so badly to succumb to Lor's touch. Later, I promise.

" I told Cal, what happened that night. With the Uigenna. I want to tell you." Okay, he didn't, he wanted to forget but he made the mistake of telling Cal and now he was going to tell Pell and the least he could do was tell his chesnari.

[sarestes]

Wordless confusion swells, like a gigantic question mark in his mind. What, why, what. Bad time to be poking around in Ulaume's thoughts, probably.

"What? He's one of them! That's--" Stupid. Just stupid. "Did he ask?"

Does he have to punch someone in the face?

[saltrock_imp]

"No, no, he didn't ask. He was actually, kind of nice about it.I thought, it was so stupid, I don't know what I was thinking. It was when this place looked so nice and I was relaxed. I was actually relaxed enough that I almost rooned him. I....got scared." Of Cal, which was really the smart move, right?

Flick took a step back from Ulaume's thoughts but not from Ulaume. "I know. I'm sorry."

[sarestes]

"'Kind of nice about it'." he repeats, ice as the North Pole. It's clear to anyone able to touch his mind that all this rage is once again directed towards Cal. Shocking.

"You should be sorry, you're the one that's going to regret it. You know Cal can't be trusted! He--" Right, that sentence isn't going to be finished, and he cuts himself off from Flick before the other har can catch a glimpse of whatever dark thoughts lurk there.

[saltrock_imp]

Flick swallowed as Ulaume cut him off, feeling, what was Lor feeling? In his place, Flick would have felt fear, but Lor wasn't feeling afraid. He was feeling pissed off. Intense rage. He took a step back.

"Lor?" Okay, now Flick was the one feeling nervous. He didn't know what happened between Ulaume and Cal, only that of course he'd been there when Pell and Cal visited the Kakkahaar camp. Sure, Cal had some disparaging things to say about both him and Lianvis but since Cal was also crazy at the time, Flick tended not to give what he said any thought.

"You're scaring me. What's going on?" He knew the darkness lived inside Lor but thankfully, he'd never had to witness it.

[sarestes]

"Uigenna. It's what he is. If he was playing nice, it's because it was an act. He's not going to give you any sympathy."

Huff. He's not quite sure what his point is. Cal knows now. What he'll do with the information, Ulaume doesn't know. Ignore it, at best. Lock it away to use against someone at the worst possible time? Probably. And can he do anything about it? Not really. Ugh.

"...what did happen?"

[saltrock_imp]

"I know," Flick knew. He knew Cal was Uigenna, that it has tainted him, made him do horrible things. Why had he told him? "But, Pell, he's nice to Pell. Pell isnt the type to make a mistake like that. Care for a horrible har." He believed that too, but wasn't sure how to reconcile it.

Flick took a breath. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell Lor now that he had gotten this far. No, he had to tell. It was too hard to keep it inside.

"I was taken to the rest of the camp. First it was Wraxilan, then another, then another. I don't know how many. I tried to ask Aruhani for help. He didn't." Flick's voice took on a bitter quality too it. "It was pelki and he made me enjoy it."

[sarestes]

"You don't know that--"

He's interrupting, quite loudly, until Flick goes on and tells the truth. There's a moment of silence, that stretches on long enough to make it obvious he's stunned. Furious, too. Then he inhales, sharply.

"...you hid that from me. For years." He's not even angry at Flick's secret--that's not where the anger is coming from. No, all he can do is pity Flick, and wonder why.

[saltrock_imp]

Shit. Shit. Shit shit shit. Was it too late to take it back? Pretend it never happened and that Flick never told Cal and Lor and he could push it into the back of his mind and let it fester again. Anything other than this.

Flick couldn't even look at him. He had trouble looking at himself. Knowing what Aruhani made him do, knowing that he had made the Dehar from the darkest part of him.

"I just wanted to forget it, Lor. Like Orien. It's a bad story. It clings to you and I can't get it out."

That wasn't an excuse. He should have told. But at the time, it had all been too traumatic and then, the longer he waited, the more it festered.

"What was I supposed to tell you? That I asked for help at the Dehar I thought was my patron betrayed me? That I did horrible things?"

[sarestes]

He's still close enough to Flick to cling to him from behind, so he does this a second time. Gods, what is he supposed to say? There's no rationalizing this kind of thing, which is option number two, and option number one would be throttling all of those hara. Also not going to happen.

And this isn't about Cal anymore. Cal... is a problem for later.

"You did horrible things? No, you had horrible things done to you. There's a difference."

[saltrock_imp]

Throttling all the Uigenna would involve going back, not something either of them wanted. They both ran for a reason. He put his hands over Ulaume's, holding him where he clung, taking the warmth and comfort he offered.

Flick shook his head. "No. " It wasn't just about the pelki, that would be too easy. "You don't get it." Or was it Flick who wasn't understanding? "I asked Aruhani for help, and his idea of help was to make me enjoy it. I wanted it, I craved it. I did things I never thought I would, never thought myself capable of."

[sarestes]

What's he supposed to say? Why now, after nearly a decade, maybe longer?

"I've never seen any of that in you."

So. It didn't mean Flick wanted to do those things.

[saltrock_imp]

"Are you sure? The things I felt, Lor. What they made me do--I feel like they did something to me. "

How could he explain it? Surely it was Lor who didn't understand, not him. Right? Or was it really the other way around? He hadn't believed Cal, but Lor was saying the same thing.

"You don't think I'm horrible, do you?" How could he even trust Aruhani again?

[sarestes]

"You'd know if I thought you were horrible." he's quick to say. Because, yes, he'd be so perfectly himself and tell Flick, wouldn't he? Not to mention Flick would taste it on his breath, feel it in his mind--

You don't stick around for a decade, almost half your life, with someone you dislike.

"And I'd know if there were darkness in you."

[saltrock_imp]

"Are you sure?" Flick shook his head, wanting to believe everything his chesnari had said, but it was hard. He was so sure.

"Aruhani came from me. From the darkest parts of myself. How can that not mean something?" But he knew that Ulaume was also right. Lor knew darkness. He'd done things. He'd seen things. If Lor said there wasn't any, maybe he should believe him.

[sarestes]

"I don't know. You didn't really make a god. Surely that's not possible. Better to think of it that you discovered him."

Has he said this before or simply thought it? Most likely the latter--there was never any need for it to be said. He may be wrong. What do they really know? They're like children fumbling around in the dark, in a brand new world.