You're not a backup, [Ronan growls, and as much as it's a reassurance, it's said like his other words, angrily and in a tone that's clear that he's unwilling to budge on it.
He's not going to spend this fight trying to convince Adam of his worth- it's just not going to happen. Adam is going to think shit of himself and he's going to project that on Ronan and he's going to hate himself for some imagined slight or another and Ronan can't stop whatever is in his head, and now he doesn't have the energy to even try and combat it, with everything else. With Gansey being gone. The least he can do is to remove his own part in it, spit out the words that Adam is trying to put in his mouth in between the points he's trying to make.
Which, honestly, Ronan isn't even sure what they are anymore. Adam can't fix it. Adam has given up. He wanted to save him and he said he would do it and he promised he'd try and this is the end of it. If Adam says that there are no straws worth grasping at, even the bad ones, even to save Gansey, then there aren't any.
Ronan finds himself believing him, against his own will. Gut reaction. He can't help but to take Adam's word as gospel, even if he doesn't want to.]
But fine. Fuck it. Fuck Dick Gansey, right?
[Back in the kitchen, then. Ronan keeps most of his liquor in his room, and he knows that Noah does the same, but Gansey has a bottle of something or other hidden in the pantry behind the syrup and spices and Ronan finds it in a moment, knocking the other shit aside, not even bothering to react as they hit the ground.]
The fuck has he ever done for us? [Ronan is talking- sort of to himself now, still sort of to Adam, angry mumbling as he shoves the liquor in one of the smaller bags they use to carry canned goods from the shops back to the house.] You think that if it were you or me gone, he'd stop at nothing to find us? Fuck no, right? He'd probably just sit in that damn chair, say that it's pointless, and give the fuck up. He'd just get fucking blitzed, right?
[The liquor is stashed, and Ronan has some semblance of thought to grab a couple haphazard food items- an energy bar, a bag of chips, a jar of peanut butter- and shoves them in the bag too, before throwing it over his shoulder.]
no subject
He's not going to spend this fight trying to convince Adam of his worth- it's just not going to happen. Adam is going to think shit of himself and he's going to project that on Ronan and he's going to hate himself for some imagined slight or another and Ronan can't stop whatever is in his head, and now he doesn't have the energy to even try and combat it, with everything else. With Gansey being gone. The least he can do is to remove his own part in it, spit out the words that Adam is trying to put in his mouth in between the points he's trying to make.
Which, honestly, Ronan isn't even sure what they are anymore. Adam can't fix it. Adam has given up. He wanted to save him and he said he would do it and he promised he'd try and this is the end of it. If Adam says that there are no straws worth grasping at, even the bad ones, even to save Gansey, then there aren't any.
Ronan finds himself believing him, against his own will. Gut reaction. He can't help but to take Adam's word as gospel, even if he doesn't want to.]
But fine. Fuck it. Fuck Dick Gansey, right?
[Back in the kitchen, then. Ronan keeps most of his liquor in his room, and he knows that Noah does the same, but Gansey has a bottle of something or other hidden in the pantry behind the syrup and spices and Ronan finds it in a moment, knocking the other shit aside, not even bothering to react as they hit the ground.]
The fuck has he ever done for us? [Ronan is talking- sort of to himself now, still sort of to Adam, angry mumbling as he shoves the liquor in one of the smaller bags they use to carry canned goods from the shops back to the house.] You think that if it were you or me gone, he'd stop at nothing to find us? Fuck no, right? He'd probably just sit in that damn chair, say that it's pointless, and give the fuck up. He'd just get fucking blitzed, right?
[The liquor is stashed, and Ronan has some semblance of thought to grab a couple haphazard food items- an energy bar, a bag of chips, a jar of peanut butter- and shoves them in the bag too, before throwing it over his shoulder.]
What a shitty guy. What a fucking asshole.