Event Log: Bad End

[hadrielmods]

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for the Bad End event
Where: All over the city!
When: August 23rd-September 5th
Warnings: Bad futures, awkward conversations, smashed mirrors

You wake up to find a mirror at your bedside - a pretty nice one, too, a silver hand mirror perfect for fixing your hair in. Only when you try to do that, it's not your gorgeous reflection that you see. It's something else - a terrible future, just about as bad as anything you could imagine for yourself.

Maybe you see your loved ones dead on the ground, and you know it's your fault. Maybe you see the goal you've been working so hard for pulled out of your reach forever. Maybe you see someone you've hurt in the past ruining your life. Maybe you see your hot girlfriend leaving you to shack up with your worst enemy. Whatever you see, it really sucks, and you know that it's possible. This future could happen if you make the wrong choices, give in to your worst impulses.

Break the mirror if you want, but you'll see the same vision in any reflective surface in the city. You can't break them all, but you can sure try. And what will you do when you see your best friend's vision - and it features you betraying them?

Seek reassurance, give reassurance, lash out, vow to yourself that you'll never let it turn out that way, sink into the depths of sorrow because you feel like the future you see is inevitable. Whatever you do, it won't take away those visions - not until the event is over.

► This log covers August 23rd-September 5th.
► Feel free to make your own logs, as well
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you can't handle the idea of your dark future, or maybe you just accidentally slip and fall on a mirror shard, let us know here.

Comments

Adam Parrish | open

[unknowable]

vision:

[What Adam sees is not particularly dramatic or intense. It's just miserable.

It's a trailer park somewhere - familiar to him, but looking just like any such place to anyone else - inside a cramped, broken-down doublewide. Adam is there. Older, tired, angry. Alone. Empty beer cans are stacked in the corners, and he clearly hasn't been taking care of himself. Past-due bills are littered across the stained coffee table. It looks like no one's bothered to do more than the minimal amount of cleaning for a few weeks now.

There's more, of course. Little details here and there that make it clear that he failed to sever himself from his past, failed to get out of poverty and away from his parents. That his friends got tired of dealing with him, that his loved ones decided he wasn't worth it. That he drove them away himself, with his anger.

But Adam doesn't usually watch that long, and he certainly wouldn't let anyone else watch that long. Not if he can help it.]

a: clinic

[As is often the case, Adam can be found at the clinic. He's continuing with life as he lives it here, ignoring the reflections as best he can. He was here when they all received mirrors before - he remembers what he saw in his. He remembers it being a little startling, maybe, something he wasn't quite ready for, but still something good.

This is not something good. He has made his mind up to ignore it as best he can. His mirror has already been kicked under his bed, against the wall where it's not easily reached. And now he's going about his business as if nothing's different.

Except, of course, when he raises his head and accidentally catches a glimpse of that vision in the reflection on a window. For a moment, he's transfixed, more out of disgust and horror than anything. Then he pulls himself away, turns on his heel, and stalks to the other side of the room, movements angry and frustrated.]

b: orchard

[The nice thing about the orchard? Not many reflective surfaces. Adam finds himself there a little more often than normal, since it's easier to avoid seeing things he doesn't want to see. There's always something to do there, anyway, whether it's picking fruit or weeding or pruning trees. The orchard doesn't need extensive amounts of care, but a little bit goes a long way.

He's undoubtedly not the only one to come to the conclusion that trees lack windows, and as long as you're careful with buckets and watering cans you might be okay. Mostly Adam keeps to himself, but if he sees someone in the orchard, whether he knows them or not, he'll raise a hand in greeting.]

Hey. No mirrors here.

b!

[lifetothefullest]

[Lance has been conspicuously absent from the Clinic as much as possible since things began, not wanting to risk any of the multitude of shiny surfaces in there revealing anything, nor accidentally seeing something that a coworker or patient didn't want seen. Instead he's spent most of his time in his apartment, hiding in his room, especially after the incredibly draining conversation he'd had to have with Brennan.

But staying inside and doing nothing is not the best thing for one's mental health and he knows it, so he's decided to venture out to the orchard. He'd been there very early on in the event, and so knows it's pretty good as far as avoiding reflections go, and isn't terribly surprised to notice someone else had the same idea; it's just slightly strange to see Adam, especially since this is the first time seeing him in person since the event where they'd thought they were brothers.

Still, it's a lot better to run into Adam than many other people, and Lance manages a small smile at the comment.]

That's good. I'm about to the point of taking the risk of accruing as much bad luck as humanly possible.

[Besides, how much could it hurt? His luck's already pretty terrible.]

[unknowable]

I was trying to figure out if throwing it in the lake would count as breaking it.

[His tone is wry, and a little tired.]

I decided it's better not to risk it, at least for now.

[No one seems to have encountered terrible luck yet, but Adam has been here too long. It's always better safe than sorry, and he'll just hide his away and pretend it's not there and everything will be... well, not fine, but not as awful as it could be.

They've just got to make it through the event, and things will be a little better. At least until the next one.

It's a little strange seeing Lance in person again, but of all the people who could have shown up here, Adam can't say he is terribly disappointed. Things might be odd, but Adam feels like he's trustworthy, more or less. As much as anyone can be, here. Besides, he's got a good head on his shoulders and is unlikely to do anything dangerous or ridiculous. Hopefully.]

Last time this happened, the mirrors showed good things. I was hoping it'd just be a repeat of that.

[lifetothefullest]

[Throwing his mirror in the lake actually sounds really tempting, although that would involve getting near the lake, and he's more paranoid about other people seeing what he sees than seeing it himself. So that idea's out, unfortunately.

And of course there was another version of this event, where those here saw positive things, and yet he had to be present for the bad version. Great. Although that definitely makes him curious--]

Last time, did they only show things that were possible?

[He's trying to get a sense of a pattern for this event, mostly because his and Brennan's mirrors showed such opposites; Brennan's scenario is one Lance knows is impossible, while his own is...

He doesn't want to think much about it, leaning back against a nearby tree, tipping his head back to look up into the branches. They're not that high, and probably climbable, but he decides not to take that risk for now; Adam's right in that dangerous and ridiculous are not his usual first choices of action.]

[unknowable]

[He still has his mirror from last time hidden away somewhere. It was nice to look at, even if it wasn't something he was quite ready for yet. Sometimes, when things were really bad, it helped to look at it and remember that someday it might be possible.

He doesn't think he's going to be keeping this one. To say the least.]

It's always hard to tell. I didn't look in everyone's, but from what I saw - yeah. Nobody saw anything that was totally impossible, although I think some people saw things they didn't think would ever happen.

[There's a thin line there, one Adam doubts he needs to explain. Sometimes it's easier to look at something as an outsider, unbiased, and say whether it's possible or not. Not always - sometimes you'll be lacking necessary information - but people tend to be harder on themselves than others would be on them. Just because someone looked at a happy future and thought it could never happen doesn't mean they're right.

Which of course means Adam has to admit that what's in these mirrors is probably possible too. He is not inclined to give in to that sort of thing, though. So what? His future will be different. This is only meant to haunt them. It isn't real.]

It seems to be the same this time, but I've been trying not to look too hard.

[lifetothefullest]

[Lance definitely understands the subtlety, and nods a little at the information; it's still difficult to find a pattern, exactly, but if he considers Brennan's mirror from her viewpoint, it would definitely seem possible even if Lance knows, due to being further in the future, that it isn't. So perhaps it's about possibility to the observer only, not about reality.

He hopes so. Maybe he could still be wrong about what he sees, and about believing it will happen.]

One of my friends is seeing something that isn't possible, they just weren't aware of that.

[Hopefully that'll be at least a little reassuring. And Adam's last comment gets a weak, humorless smile from Lance in response.]

I'd never really thought about how many things were reflective before.

[unknowable]

They probably take what we see from our own minds. That way, it would make sense that some of us see things others know are impossible. It's only working off our perceptions and knowledge.

[Of course, the idea of something picking through his thoughts and memories and worst fears isn't awesome, but it's something Adam has unfortunately had to come to terms with. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and it won't be the last.]

So far this is the safest place I've found. There are a few buckets lying around, but the tools are mostly not reflective - at least not anymore. Just try not to catch a glimpse of anyone's phone screen and you'll be okay.

[Not that that's a guarantee of anything, really. The wrong reflection on a wet leaf is enough to show people things they might not want to see, but at least there are no windows or mirrors or large bodies of water here.]

Better than blindfolding yourself, anyway.

[lifetothefullest]

That makes sense.

[And as realistic as Lance is, and how firmly he believes in confronting the truth and handling it instead of allowing a sense of denial, denial isn't the same thing as hope. If these visions really are just based on the observer's minds, then they don't mean anything; Lance still has reason to believe it's what happens, but this shouldn't be part of that.

Although, like Adam, he isn't super pleased with the idea of his memories being messed with, it's the least of his concerns for now. Hopefully this is the worst sort of thing that'll come of it, and if so then he can deal with that.

And oh, that mention of the phones is a good one; Lance hadn't thought about that or run into that problem yet, since he typically lights his phone up before he looks at it purely out of habit, but it's good to remember in case anyone else leaves the phone laying around. But all this paying attention to reflections is exhausting, and not for a reason that blindfolding himself would help with anyway.]

At this point I'm less concerned about seeing my reflection myself, and more about others seeing it.

[He wonders if it might be the same for a lot of people, actually. After awhile the shock of the vision itself wears off, or at least it did for him, but the fear that others might see it doesn't.]

a;

[ritualized]

[Saber's been urging her to look into work at the clinic, and Irisviel's found reason after reason not to do so. Most of them were outside her control--being spirited away to some happier reality, tangling with hallucinations or altered states of mind.

But it'd be a lie to say that she'd only been kept away from circumstances. She's certainly avoided the place after Rydia offered to strike down (the ghost of) her daughter and the pain drove her to hide from the place, even when it might have been a good idea to seek out their help.

But, as these days wear on, and she sees her dark, corrupted self in every reflected surface, dressed in black, smile bloody, hot black mud boiling up around her as everything she touches around her loses its soul, she fears that her own selfishness is driving her toward that end. So she shows up at the clinic, not really expecting to see the young man she once met during a party that seems years ago now.]

Young Mr. Parrish! ...Ah, I mean, Adam! [She calls for his attention before realizes that his attention is captured by something else.] I'm sorry, I-- [She tries not to look.]

[unknowable]

[He should expect someone to be there - there are always people going in and out of the clinic. That's just how it works. But he still jumps when he hears her voice, startled by the sudden appearance of someone else. Or maybe not that sudden. Maybe he was just distracted, looking at something he didn't want to look at.

Did she see? It doesn't really matter, he decides. Adam guards his privacy fiercely, but she barely knows him - though he does recognize her. She can't glean much meaning from anything she sees, no matter how personal it might be.

Still, he averts his eyes. He doesn't want to see his own strange future, and he doesn't want to accidentally see hers, which might be more obviously awful.]

It's all right. It's - hard to avoid seeing this stuff. Did you need something?

[He wants to be professional. It's hard right now.]

[ritualized]

[The first time they meant, he'd mentioned that things happen that are sometimes less enjoyable. She'd believed him even then, but after a few months, she's seen it in effect. She's seen it enough.]

It's very...intrusive. [Irisviel hesitates on the world, almost calling it 'distracting' before that seems like it isn't enough.]

Saber--my friend suggested I come here and see if my work could help the clinic. That was a while ago, but... [The Black Grail smiles cruelly from across the room, bones cracking beneath her feet.]

...It's been difficult. I've been selfish about it.

[unknowable]

It is. I see things even when I don't want to.

[Adam tries very hard to respect people's privacy. He values his own so much, it's only fair. But a stray glance right now is enough to make him see things he didn't want to, and he can't just avert his eyes forever. It's frustrating.]

It's not really selfish to do that. You don't owe us anything - there are plenty of people who can heal or do first aid who don't help out here.

[He doesn't see it as a requirement, and he doesn't see it as selfishness when someone chooses not to. They just have other priorities. He isn't working here because he's a good person who wants to help others, but because he needs something to fill his days, to keep his hands busy.]

But we definitely appreciate any help that you can give. What sort of things can you do?

a

[greywaren]

[Ronan knows that Adam doesn't like what he sees in his mirror- Ronan doesn't like what he sees in his own, but it's hardly a surprise to him when he considers the event that had already happened like this. They saw the futures they wanted... it's obvious that this is a future that they didn't want.

Still, he stares at it. He hasn't been sleeping much recently, even with Adam beside him, and so it's late, with Ronan sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in his sleep pants and holding his damned mirror.

It's not a pretty picture. Everything dead and gray at the Barns, Opal malnourished and standing over his body in the kitchen, passed out from the alcohol, the pills scattered across the table. He opens his eyes and rolls his head to look at the mirror with dark, familiar eyes, smudged with purple, sightless but bearing an intensity that startles the real Ronan to the core.

His grip tightens for a moment, before he sets the mirror away on the bedside table. It's good to have seen it, maybe- it's good to know what's still possible for him, if he loses what he is.

A glint of metal catches his eye and he follows it down to where there's an identical mirror shoved under the bed. Ronan hesitates a moment, but eventually the pull of it is too much to bear, and besides, they share everything these days- all their insecurities, all of the bad things- so why shouldn't he look, just so he can understand what Adam might be going through?

He looks. He's quiet as he does it, his expression difficult to read as he takes in all the details of Adam's surroundings. As if by coincidence, Adam begins to stir behind him and Ronan gently sets the mirror down on the edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder toward the other boy.]

Hey.

[unknowable]

[Adam yawns, blinking the sleep from his eyes. It's a familiar scene - darkness outside, the lights dim within, Ronan awake. Adam doesn't worry over it, usually. Ronan has been dealing with his dreams and his sleep difficulties all his life, and Adam knows his presence can't really change that, though he does think Ronan sleeps a little easier next to him sometimes. He just sleeps when he's tired and sometimes wakes to find Ronan already awake, no matter how late it is. It doesn't bother him.

He doesn't see the mirror at first. He's tried not to think about it - it's a future that's possible, he knows, it's the kind of future he's worked so hard to get away from. It would be almost inevitable, if he hadn't thrown all of his stubbornness into getting away from it. But it's not anymore, it's only an ugly and unpleasant possibility. He's tried not to think about it, but he hasn't always succeeded.]

Hey.

[He yawns again, not sitting up yet, his eyes tracing the sharp lines and distracting curls of Ronan's tattoo.]

You okay?

[Then he catches sight of a glimmer of light reflected off the silver back of the mirror, and his brows draw down. It's his, or it's Ronan's, and it doesn't really matter which. Or maybe it does, but Adam isn't sure he wants to ask.]

[greywaren]

[He nods, though it's a little hesitant. There's nothing really wrong with him or with Adam, and they've seen worse things in their stay here. It doesn't make it easy to parse, but he thinks that it's helped them both to grow resilience in times like these.

It's not real. Just like Matthew wasn't real or Aurora wasn't real or Adam's father wasn't real, or even- he struggles to admit- the good mirrors weren't real.]

Same shit, different day.

[Is what Ronan does finally say, and he turns to face Adam, lifting a knee up onto the bed for a more comfortable position. Eventually, he nods to the mirror, his eyes on Adam.]

You- you're not thinking about that shit, are you?

[unknowable]

[Adam presses his lips together, a thin line. He doesn't want to admit it, but he also doesn't want to lie to Ronan.]

It's hard not to. I know it isn't real.

[He knows that, it's just - that's the sort of future he's always feared. It's what seemed almost inevitable at the worst of times, no matter how determined he was to get out of the trailer park. It's further away now, after everything, but it's still something that could have happened far too easily if he'd made different choices. Still could, if he really fucked up.

He won't. But it's hard not to think about it.]

I liked the other ones better.

[greywaren]

I know.

[He sighs, tipping his head back so that he can stare up toward the ceiling while he thinks- about the mirror, about the mirrors that they had before, about what Adam fears and what he wants and how entirely separate the two of them are.]

I'd never let that happen to you.

[And Ronan moves more fully onto the bed now, reaching out and grabbing for Adam's hands, holding them tightly in his own.]

Even if I had to kick your ass into gear myself. I know what you want. [Even if it's something that Ronan doesn't understand, he knows, and he knows that it's what Adam needs.] I'm not going to let you waste it. Trust in me, at least.

[unknowable]

I do.

[He holds on to Ronan's hands, maybe a little more tightly than he needs to. It's true, he does trust Ronan - with his life, with his heart, with every part of him. He knows that Ronan doesn't necessarily understand what drives Adam, but he still supports it, he still wants a happy and successful future for him. And what do they have, if not each other?]

I'm not going to give up on anything. I don't think I have it in me. It's just - disturbing.

[To think there is some version of the future in which he does give up, walks away, loses everything.

He takes a breath. He wants to ask, but he doesn't want to pry - but it's Ronan. They've shared so much.]

Was yours... like that?

[greywaren]

Yeah.

[He thinks about Opal, about his limp figure on the floor and the ashen colors of his cheeks. He thinks about the beer bottles around Adam's chair. He frowns.]

No. [A pause.] Sort of.

[He'd feel uncomfortable talking about it with anyone else, but he knows Adam and Adam knows him. Their insecurities, their hopes and doubts and dreams- they know it all, and Ronan knows that he can trust him with this. Still, it's not something he's eager to talk about.]

It's just- shit so that we can feel sad or scared or whatever. They're manipulating us- it isn't real.

B.

[toiletseat_girl]

[George has just seen herself staying eighteen years old forever, never reaching her quota of souls to be taken, watching her parents and eventually her little sister grow old and wither and die in front of her and she was helpless to comfort them or be there for them in their old age.

she just went on, ageless, all of the other Reapers she knew meeting their quotas and moving on and being surrounded by strangers so she didn't even have the small comfort of people she knew being there for her.

it never ended. murders. suicides. accidents. death. everyone but her getting getting their sparkly lights and moving on to the afterlife. everyone but George. there's no way out. there's no relief. all there is is death.

after seeing this in the mirror, George shrieked and left the house, looking for something, anything to bring some relief. she finds herself wandering around aimlessly, turning her eyes firmly from any reflective surface she can, getting further out of town than she usually does. she finds herself in the orchard where she sees a familiar face, though not one seen since the Pleasantville-on-steroids scenario

she blinks a couple of times at his statement, then seems to pull herself together somewhat.]

Thank fuck. How--how're you?

[unknowable]

[He recognizes her - though he supposes he doesn't really know her, since the only time they met they weren't really themselves. Still, Adam remembers having a decent conversation, and remembers that she didn't seem unbalanced or cruel, which honestly goes a long way in a place like this.

So he manages to summon a smile, though it is a bit uncertain and he think it must seem out of place on his face. Still, Adam was taught to be polite. He hasn't shaken that, and probably won't ever.]

As well as could be expected.

[He can ignore his mirror, which helps. Not many reflections here, which helps even more. He's sure she understands that. They're all going through the same thing.]

What about you?

[toiletseat_girl]

[oh, she has subterranean self-esteem, she can be a bitch, and she's a living dead girl, but no, she's not particularly unbalanced or cruel.

she tries to smile back, though she's sure it's shaky and uncertain]

That good, huh?

[she had a hard time with her vision since it could so easily become her reality back home]

...to be honest? Not that hot. The gods kinda fucked me over this time.

[unknowable]

They like doing that. It seems to be their favorite game.

[He says it with wry humor. What can they do but try to learn how to deal with it? Adam is not one of the types who swears vengeance against the gods for the things they do. It seems like a waste of time.]

It's safer here than most place, and the fruit's good. Make yourself at home.

[He gestures around at the orchard.]

Did you break the mirror?

[toiletseat_girl]

What, making our lives suck? That's rude. I get that they need our emotions to survive, but couldn't they say "hey, so-and-so's a little peckish, could you try feeling such-and-such an emotion really hard?"

[George isn't, either, especially not after her actually very pleasant conversation with Fear. besides, she figures that taking on gods would be punching way above her weight class. she's not normal, but she's not superhuman]

And it's pretty. [picks a blood red apple off of the tree, takes a bite, chews, and swallows] And you seem like good company.

...after about fifteen, twenty minutes of staring into the fucking thing, yes. Did you?

[unknowable]

I wouldn't call myself good company, but I'll try to make sure I'm not too boring, anyway.

[Adam isn't always great at talking to people. But he can fake it pretty well, and she seems nice - he doesn't particularly want to drive her away. Without the mirrors, it's reasonably safe here, if a little boring.]

I was worried it'd explode on me or something. You never know, here. I just hid mine.

[So he doesn't have to see it and no one else will accidentally stumble across it. Except, of course, they still might.]