(open) i will never find a way to heal my soul

[puzzlingly]

Who: Atem and peeps. Open mostly, specially to anyone in the in the clinic.
What: Atem finally comes to after being attacked by Yukari, spends some time at the clinic being a massive grump, then goes home to grump a little more.
Where: Clinic / house 6-1
When: November 3rd- 14th
Warnings: Mentions of stitches and wounds ew, torture and blood. Other possible warnings in comments.


november 3rd | clinic | open to one trafalgar law

「He wakes. He wakes and all his being pushes him to scream, it is not possible for someone to withstand so much pain, so much cold. But he does not utter a sound. His body shivers from the cold, and he frantically looks around trying to get his bearings, trying to locate him, Yukari. He doesn't remember anything, just pain, and so much red, and the need to hurt that man as much as he possibly could, to stop him from going after someone else, then nothing, just nothing. He tries to sit up, failing completely, the ache down his chest forcing him to fall back onto the mattress and finally making him blurt out a pained cry.

It's been so long since he's felt this torment, this body is was not designed to endure so much punishment, it was a temporal vessel for his wandering soul. Why must he go through it all over again? Wasn't he done? Wasn't his time up? Why have they abandoned here...? Was he never good enough to move on, to go back home? -- Why is he here?!

Please end it, anyone, please just, end him.」

november 3rd - 12th | clinic | ota

「He should probably be sleeping instead of forcing himself to stay awake and even more so, forcing his dominant hand to play chess on his phone, or even to reply a few messages. Hell, he can barely hold the stupid phone, but he needs the distraction. Every time he goes to sleep, he sees his face, and then he remembers how stupid he was to give his trust away, again.

Meh, just meh...」

november 13rd - 14th | imported house 6-1 | open to bakura and anyone who asks idk (someone bring food to this child omg)

「Not being able to stay at the clinic any longer, because it is so damn depressing, Atem finally convinces them to let him go home, under the solemn promise that he would not do anything stupid. Like going outside and look for Yukari.

Being drained from the past days, he often finds himself simply sleeping, indulging into tiredness and allowing his vessel to regain its strength (not that he has many options controlling that...). But more than once, he finds himself bored to death and trying to get a hold of his cards, he can't. Having sliced through his fingers, trying to avoid Yukari's blade to go any further into his shoulder has made it impossible for now. It is so frustrating, so painful! 」

Dammit!

「It wouldn't be the first nor the last time during these days that he's absolutely tempted to toss his deck of cards to a close wall due sheer resentment, but he doesn't... Picking them up would be yet another pain in the ass.」

Comments

[puzzlingly]

It does, I come from some version of Earth too. One of the ones that does have magic but no one believes in it anymore.

「It's a bit nice to relate to something though.」

So, where in America?

[aroundthecoroner]

So I'm guessing you're one of the few who do?

[His wording wouldn't make sense otherwise.]

I live in Ohio, it's in the Midwest? I used to live in Maine, though. I feel like that one's more well known. Where are you from?

[puzzlingly]

Yep.

「easy」

Hmm, only heard of them. Originally, I'm from Egypt, but lived in Japan for a while.

「He definitely looks more Japanese than Egyptian though.」

[aroundthecoroner]

[Michael knows a thing or two about being from a country where you don't look like the majority ethnic group.]

Is your family from Japan?

[puzzlingly]

No, my family was from Egypt.

「Confusing yet? Atem might or not be enjoying this... shh.」

[aroundthecoroner]

[Yeah a little bit. But even Michael's not socially inept enough to just say "you don't exactly look Egyptian". So for now he's just gonna... go along with this...]

Huh. So what brought you to Japan, then?

[puzzlingly]

「Oh man, is that how they are gonna do this? It's gonna be frustrating for one of them.」

Destiny. My vessel was waiting for me there.

「A hint, it's not gonna be Atem. And no, he's not high 」

[aroundthecoroner]

[He might be level 1 with human interaction, but Michael is level 99 in conflict avoidance. Does this vessel stuff sound completely insane? Sure. But he's just gonna keep right on truckin'.]

Vessel? What kind of vessel?

[puzzlingly]

「Atem reaches for Michael with that bandaged hand, and boops him on the nose! If he doesn't move away anyway!」

This kind.

「Alright fine, he might be a little high. Egyptian Gods what did Law put in those painkillers?

But then gives a little sigh and tries to become a little more comfortable on that bed, it kind of sucks.」

If I was you I would have called myself crazy already... Do you really want to know the whole story?

[aroundthecoroner]

[Michael doesn't move, he instead does what he usually does when people try to touch him: he goes very still. But a nose boop isn't so bad. Even if it's... weird...

Weirder, though, is the implication. This kind. The human kind? He'd be reminded of the Visitor, but he doesn't actually need a reminder; it is, as usual, busily chittering away in the back of his mind. Its interest in this conversation ended when the stopped talking about the murder attempt.]

I don't have a lot of room to call other people crazy. Sure, call me curious.

[puzzlingly]

「Don't mind if he notices that remark.」

This is not my body. Not my original one anyway. Mine must be dust by now, back in Egypt, in a tomb made solely for me. It doesn't mean this one can't hurt just as if I was born with it.

「Hmm, just saying, but, does that make any sense? It sure as hell it does to him, but it's his story, of course it'll make sense to him.」

[aroundthecoroner]

[There is... a lot to unpack there.]

So wait, are you some kind of like... mummy? [That would explain the interest in embalming. But more importantly:]

Whose body is it?

[puzzlingly]

Are you really asking me if I'm a mummy?

「HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE A MUMMY DUDE.」

It's my partner's, or, it is a replica of his.

「How did this conversation become so complicated!? What boredom does wow.」

[aroundthecoroner]

[WELL WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY...]

No, not like... you here, I meant like... your... body. But if you're in a different body now, then you're more like... a ghost?

[God what a mess. He's not even gonna touch the "partner" thing, because he isn't sure what definition of "partner" is being used here, and he doesn't want to ask.]

[puzzlingly]

「Haha... this is terrible. He's told people this before how come this one became such a mess? But hey, he got it at last. 」

Bingo! Took you a while to figure that out.

「not that he helped at all! 」

I'm a spirit, yeah. This is but a borrowed body. I've been dead for a while now, but I got stuck in here.

[aroundthecoroner]

[Michael feels like he's gotten over a hurdle in this conversation. It's a slight relief.]

So, then where's the person whose body it is?

[He's not still... in there... is he...]

[puzzlingly]

「Why did he have to ask that...?」

Home.

「Used to be.」

[aroundthecoroner]

[Shit. Well that could've gone better. Everything happening here could've gone better tbh.]

Sorry. But, uh, at least he's not here for all the craziness?

[That's a positive right??? He's bad at optimism. Still.]

[puzzlingly]

「Well, that's strangely helpful. It is not quite a smile but it is something vaguely resembling one when his lips twitch upward. Nice save, dude.」

There is nothing to be sorry about. You're right. He and I... Our time together came to an end and it was time to move on.

「But the remainder that he's alone in a way no one here can really understand remains. He tries very hard not to show it.」

How crazy has it been for you anyway?

[aroundthecoroner]

[Oh. So leaving his body's original owner behind was a thing that happened before Atem came to Hadriel. Still sucks.

At least Michael's question didn't totally ruin the conversation?]

Pretty crazy, I guess. [But when hasn't his life been pretty crazy?] Though this might sound weird, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. People told me all kinds of stuff when I got here, like that the gods killed people. None of that's happened since I've been here.

[puzzlingly]

Hmm. I heard the same. I guess they cannot afford to make people hate them right now.

「A little pause, then he adds, darkly,」

It doesn't excuse them from what they've done.

[aroundthecoroner]

I mean, I guess not.

[Believe him, buddy, he's had the thought cross his mind. But he doubts the Visitor could deal with a god. Fake or not.]

Does that mean you're siding with the Null in this whole war thing? I'm kind of undecided myself.

[puzzlingly]

... Siding the Null? Really? 「DUDE...」 There is no way I would side with them, look what they are doing, dividing the only side that should matter, ours!

「There is not two sides... just as Bakura said, there is the Null's, the Demons' and theirs.」

What is there to decide? Do you consider your life more important than others? Do you really think they are going to help you in some way to go back to your world when they defeat the so called gods?

「He needs to take a moment to breath, you're not a very good doctor, man, upsetting your patients.」

You've never been in a war, have you?

[aroundthecoroner]

[w h o o p s]

I mean, okay, I guess I figured you'd be upset with the whole being on the hitlist thing, but some people got on there for stupid reasons, without having decided for sure to be against them.

[Michael tries to backpedal but is mostly unsuccessful. At this point he's just rambling.]

And I guess I was thinking that like, I don't know, the Null aren't going to see "neutral" as a side probably, and the gods were rooting out traitors, so if you're against the gods, I thought maybe you'd just default to siding with the Null. I didn't think of us as being a third side since I doubt either of the other two are going to just let us be one. Even though I said I was undecided, I'll probably default to the gods just because they're the ones who feed us and the Null told us to murder kids. But I mean the gods are pretty bad too, like you said.

[And it's fine, he's not a real doctor. His "patients" back home are all already dead.]

And uh, no. I've never been in a war.

[That much is obvious, honestly.]

Listen, if I'm pissing you off, maybe I should just go.

[puzzlingly]

「No, wait, don't leave him alone!

...

But it is true he is just pissing him off, which is weird even for him, it is clear something is not okay with him at the moment, he doesn't feel like himself.

Regardless, he can now somewhat understand the reasoning behind his logic.」

You're the first one I find that thinks that way. 「But surely, he is not the only one, he had been naturally drawn to those who would side with the people rather than taking part with either of the other parts.」

Sorry, I think I'm tired...

「Enough to blurt out an apology he doesn't even feel.」

Don't... Don't go.