hadriel_logs | Event Log: Is It a Wonderful Life?

Entry tags:

Event Log: Is It a Wonderful Life?

Who: All characters participating in the event
What: The event log for Is It A Wonderful Life? event
Where: All over the city
When: Jan 4th-8th
Warnings: None

Throughout the next few days, you may find yourself plagued by visions and dreams of back home. The dreams will be lifelike and difficult to tell apart from reality, as the world will be constructed from what you remember of your world. However, unlike usual dreams, you won't be present, and will find yourself unable to be seen or heard by those around you.

The dreams are vivid reminders of what might happen in a world without you: a world in which you disappeared when coming to Hadriel, a world which desperately needs you back for some reason or another. You may see your parents putting up missing posters, your significant other moving onto their next relationship, or even your hated villain finally taking over the world without you there to stop them.

When the vision leaves, you're back here and nothing about the city has changed. Though maybe you have a different outlook on it now...

► This log covers January 4th-Januray 8th.
► Please tag headers of threads with content warnings where they apply
► Please put your character's name and open/closed in the subject line of your starters!
► If you try a weird solution to make it back home, please let us know here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[and having someone else to focus on might help her from missing Maglor, from feeling that she betrayed Matt with her feelings for Maglor]

That---that is quite admirable of you.

May I ask how you've been faring? These past several weeks?

[after all, she hasn't seen him in a while]

[yo dating in hadriel seems like the worst idea ever]

Oh, I'm fine. Y'know, keepin' busy. Joined the Guard, fought some big animals. Typical stuff. How've, uh, how've you been doing?

[it is the worst idea ever. don't do it, you'll regret it]

Oh, the mammoths. I didn't have the chance to fight them. Were they a challenge? [and how has she been doing?] ...I have been. Enduring.

[Single forever, alas.]

Oh, they weren't that bad. Totally unrelated to the mammoths at all, I'm... probably going to need your help with something once we're all feeling less crappy.

["Enduring" = feeling crappy, Peter knows how to translate this]

Do you, um. Wanna talk about it? I mean, I'm probably not the best for advice or anything, but I'm a good listener.

[forever alone is the best way to go about it]

That's good. And you will? [her voice gains the smallest degree of hope] I look forward to it.

[yes, indeed it does. he's good]

...I suppose? I don't even know how to begin.

Cool, cool. I don't know the first thing about sewing, so I'm almost positive that I would beef it by myself.

[The best, in fact. Lots of first hand experience.]

Hey, no pressure. I never know where to start with these kinds of things, either.

What I know, I learned from my mother. Grandmother had [a pause] entirely different lessons in mind.

[then she won't feel like such a fool baring her heart to him]

...there was one here who I loved. I knew it was hopeless, but I loved him anyway. And now [her voice breaks] and now he's gone and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

Right, right, your cool but terrifying grandma.

[spill all of your beans eeeexcellent

Except now he feels bad for getting her upset nnnNOOO. He's going to at least stop being a weirdo and take his mask off.]

Oh, man, I'm sorry. Was it... was it that guy you told me about?

Yes. She worked hard to attain that image. The Queen of Thorns.

[it's much easier to talk to him than it is to the mask]

No, I speak of . . . another. Who found his way into my heart without even trying. He is now gone and I--[tears well up]--I don't know what I'm to do without him.

[Losing one boyfriend would be bad enough, but damn, another one? This place is enough of a pain in the ass without having to deal with shit like that.

He tries to come up with something comforting to say, but he's just drawing a blank. Loss is a subject he's way too familiar with, but that doesn't make it any easier to talk about. So, he does the next best thing, and puts a hand on her shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.]

I'm sorry, Margaery.

[he was never her boyfriend. she knew better than to express her feelings to him as he seemed to believe that he wasn't worthy of love. but in a way, that makes things worse, that she never had the chance to tell him how she felt.

she's become well accustomed to loss, too, starting with the loss of her own life and the world carrying on without her as though she was never there to begin with. but it still doesn't make the loss any less painful. she closes her eyes briefly when he puts his hand on her shoulder and a single tear breaks free and runs down her cheek]

Thank you, Peter. You're a fine young man, to be so kind.

This place. . . is not easy. I've been here for more than a year and a half and lost those I care for too many times. It's unavoidable, but no less painful every time.

[He really does hope that he's helping somehow, even if the best he really knows how to do is just be here for her right now. It was all he'd really been able to do for his aunt when they lost his uncle, too. Even though he'd wished that there was more he could do, just having someone who understood around had seemed to be enough.]

Life can be pretty unfair like that, even when you're not in a weirdo city with a magic door. I won't say that it gets any easier, because it really doesn't, but you don't have to deal with it by yourself.

[he is helping. she's held much of this as a closely guarded secret because she wasn't the only one to mourn his loss and it didn't feel right to try and gain additional sympathy for her loss]

I suppose I don't. It's just that I was trained to never show weakness so that none could try to exploit it. Letting that go is. . . difficult.

[There's nothing wrong with being a little bit selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to something like this. Everyone needs hugs and shit sometimes man]

I get it, like, something that's deeply ingrained like that is hard to just stop. It's like a bad habit, yeah? And, maybe it's not something you can break all at once, and that's fine, y'know? I guess just try to keep in mind that... mourning isn't a weakness. Needing help dealing with it isn't a weakness. It's just... human, y'know? It's human, and it's natural, and it's okay.

[but she's been trying so hard to not be selfish ever since she came here]

...I--I've barely been able to function since he left. He'd be so disappointed in me. But I do need help. I can't keep all of this inside or surely I will run mad.

[TREAT YOSELF, GIRL. To uh, selfishness, I guess.]

I'd say this is a good first step towards help. The hardest part is admitting you need it, and you've already cleared that hurdle.

[...sobs internally]

But--but what shall I do? I don't know what to do.

[LIKE PETER DOES KNOW WHAT TO DO?? man he's bad at this]

Uh. Just. Real quick, gonna circle back to the part where I said I'm not the best at advice. But, there are probably other people in town who are great at it. So, maybe talk to some friends about it. Get their takes on it, maybe they can share their experiences or how they deal with this kind of thing. Like, personally, I have a habit of just, y'know, throwing myself at other people and trying to help them out and stuff. Avoiding it, is what I do, I guess, and... and that's actually a really bad way of dealing with anything, so absolutely don't do what I would do.

[I mean it's exactly what he's doing right now. also fuck he's panicking ABORT MISSION]

[and she's been trained since birth to conceal her true feelings, but that's not an option anymore]

...oh. I see. [a pause] Are you avoiding something in particular?

That's not what I said.

[That's exactly what he said, and he knows that she knows it, so he's going to try that again.]

Nah, it's just. I mean, it's just weird dreams and junk. Just trying to keep my mind off things.

...I see. I suppose it's unfair of me to ask.

[because while he's a sweet young man, they've only conversed a few times. she shouldn't have lost her decorum so thoroughly in front of him in the first place.

a bitter laugh] Aren't we all?

[Psh, decorum is overrated anyway.]

Hey, no harm done. Seems like a lot of people are having a rough time right now.

[not according to her upbringing]

I suppose so. But, what of you? Are you . . . well?

[PSH, UPBRINGING]

Um... I'm okay? I mean, I'm feeling a little better now that I'm out talking to people and stuff. It's been kinda rough, though. Like, not gonna lie, this is probably one of the hardest things I've personally dealt with since I got here.

Yes, this has been. . . disturbing. Generally, I do my best to resist when the so-called gods have their tricks, but I suppose this time we were all caught off guard.

Whatever it was you saw, I'm sorry.

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