hang on to your dreams

[unknowable]

Who: Adam Parrish (unknowable) and OPEN
What: Catch-all log for the month of February!
Where: Around the city
When: February 12-29 - put a date in your thread header if it matters!
Warnings: General stupid teenage boy-ness, swearing probably, possible mentions of violence



[a: scavenging]

[With a house full of teenage boys (and one raven) to feed, it's pretty normal for Adam to make supply runs, picking up whatever he can find from one of the many stores scattered around the city. It seems like the offerings are different every time he goes out, which at least makes it interesting. The basics can be counted on: strange, unfamilar fruit with occasional apples or oranges or bananas mixed in, cans of odd soups, boxes of various other foods. Right now, Adam is holding a box of cereal. The front says Fruit Spins in cursive print, and there's something that resembles a toucan but definitely isn't one.]

Well... I guess that's close enough.

[Adam's tone is extremely doubtful, but he looks like he's planning to take the box anyway.]

[b: park]

[It's not a forest, and it's not Cabeswater, but the trees in the park are real, and that offers Adam some kind of comfort. He misses home the same way he always has - shamefully, resentfully, angry at himself for letting Henrietta and the doublewide trailer he spent most of his life in have such a hold on him. He's always wanted to get out, desperately, always worked for that, but he wonders sometimes if there's no real way to shake the dust off his shoes. If, no matter where or how far he goes, there will always be some disgusting part of him that misses it.

But there's nothing wrong with missing Cabeswater. Well, it's with him, even now, but not the real thing. He can't walk under the trees or feel the pulse of the ley line. This is the closest he can get.

He lays on the grass under one of the trees, looking up at the light through the leaves. Like this, he can almost pretend he isn't in a cave. He can let his thoughts drift, let himself just be.

He almost falls asleep, until the sound of a footstep jolts him out of his reverie. He sits up, suddenly, and looking in that direction, a bit like a startled deer.]

[c: at home]

[Plenty of things to do at the raven boy house, which is not and never will be named something silly like Monmouth II. Adam tries to keep it a few steps below 'disaster area', which is not so very easy to do when they're all teenage boys and one of them is Ronan Lynch. He also tries to make sure they have food and other supplies - not out of a desire to take care of his friends, but out of his basic practical nature. Ronan doesn't care about these things at all, Gansey is too easily caught up in books and new amazing things, and Noah is a ghost. Adam might as well try to make sure they have dishes to eat off of and food to eat from those dishes.

Anyway, he does better when he has things to do. At home, Adam barely had an hour or two of free time here and there. Here, his time is free unless he fills it with things, and so he does, because he doesn't really know how to handle actual free time anymore.

Right now, he's in the kitchen, mundanely washing dishes. He figured the sink out long ago, at least, so that's good. He'll come to the door, if it's knocked on, or he'll allow himself to be disturbed, but otherwise - today Adam Parrish will be playing the part of underpaid (well, unpaid) dishwasher.]

[d: let me know if you'd like to do something else and I'll write up a starter for you!]

Comments

c | feb 13

[whichend]

[ When Arya and Cashmere first moved into their large, oddly arranged house, there were two, sometimes three people to share it with. Steve always had a lot of friends, it seemed, or at least a lot of visitors. But they've all vanished now, and it's just Arya and Cashmere in a house that now sometimes feels depressingly large.

Cash is out of the house today, and probably won't come back until late, which makes the emptiness of the house loom even more. So Arya bundles up, takes her sword and a couple daggers and conceals them in her coat, and leaves.

Without really meaning to, she's arrived at Adam's house. It's Noah's and Ronan's too, she supposes, but in her mind she's always associated that place with Adam Parrish, and she's always been more than a little curious about it. And now that she's standing on its front steps, she might as well go inside.

Arya takes a deep breath and knocks. ]

[unknowable]

[It's not that they never get visitors, but it's always a little unexpected to Adam. Ronan excels at making enemies, Noah is still busy being a ghost, and Adam is generally just not that great at making friends. So he doesn't expect company, not really, and so is a little surprised to hear a knock at the door.

But he dries his hands and goes to get it, because surprised or not, he isn't going to leave someone waiting. The sight of Arya brings a careful but genuine smile to his face, and he steps back so there's room for her to enter.]

Hey. Come in.

[The dishes can wait. He doesn't know if she's just bored or if she came over for a reason, but it doesn't really matter. Arya's more than earned some of his time.]

What's going on?

[whichend]

[ Oh, good, it's Adam who answered the door. If it were Ronan or Noah, Arya would probably have to come up with a better explanation for why she's here, and if she's being honest with herself, Arya knows she'd probably just run away instead. Adam may be the most serious of all the men who live here, but to Arya, he's the easiest to talk to, and she gives him a small little smile, half of happiness and half of gratitude.

She steps inside the house. She's surprised at how similar it is to the one she and Cash live in. The main difference is that it seems fuller, even with just her and Adam here. More lived-in. But that's how she knows she's came to the right place. ]

Cash is gone all day and without her there it's too big.

[ Sometimes the emptiness is too much. She hopes Adam understands, even if she can't fully articulate that. ]

[unknowable]

[He does understand. He spent a few weeks pretty much alone - Gansey gone, Ronan not coming home, Noah flickering in and out like the ghost he was. The house was too big, too empty. He couldn't leave, but he couldn't get comfortable, either.

So Adam does understand.]

Stay as long as you want. Sorry it's a little messy.

[Because it's always a little messy. A jacket - probably Ronan's - thrown over the sofa, an empty waterglass on the floor, some seeds that are likely the remnants of something Chainsaw ate, a book, a single discarded sock. It's not that bad, really, but people definitely live there, and Adam might try to keep things semi-decent but he's not gonna be anybody's maid.]

Hungry? I could make us some food.

B - 15th

[amos_moses]

Amos has come to the park for a little archery practise again...and also to talk to more of the jabberjays. While they seem fairly at home in the nooks and crannies of the ruined city, birds are drawn to trees, and quite a few of them are here. Amos has two following him, curious and eager to see if he'll give them more food.

Bow in hand, quiver at his side, Amos startles back when Adam sits up: he'd been more focused on the birds than what might be a person around, and his boots scuff in the grass as he spooks a step sideways before realizing it's not a huge threat.

Except it's Adam, and his start of a friendly smile and wave fades as he realizes that, like a dog who suddenly remembers he's been bad. So instead Adam gets a mildly guilty look, and a sheepish, "Oh, uh, sorry...for intruding. I'll go somewhere else."

[unknowable]

Generally, when faced with someone he's not fond of, Adam turns to cool contempt and avoidance. He has enough on his plate already without wanting to get involved with someone he doesn't like, especially since he's never comfortable with his own anger. And he is angry, whenever he thinks about someone hurting Arya. He would feel no differently if it had been Noah, or Gansey - Ronan is something else completely.

He tenses when he sees who it is, because he doesn't trust Amos, and of course Amos has a weapon. But he doesn't seem to be a threat right now, and even if he was, what could Adam do? He has no protection but Cabeswater.

"I don't own the park. There's plenty of room. Go where you like."

[amos_moses]

Again with the midly guilty sidelong look, as Amos assess that cool tone and Adam's body language for threat, before he starts to edge away. Carefully, as if he might trigger some kind of outburst.

One of the birds overhead trills and swoops down closer, eyeing Adam before mimicking his last words. 'Go where you like', and it's very eerie for an animal to be so precise, sound so human.

Amos looks back at the birds. "C'mon, guys, let him be. Come with me an' I'll teach you more songs."

The birds both turn to look at him, and Amos whistles a little tune to prove he'll deliver. Returning his whistle, they both fly a few branches closer, peering down at him with curiosity. Amos glances back at Adam. "Sorry. It's just what they do."

[unknowable]

Treating Adam like he might explode is probably the worst way to treat him, all things considered. But then, that would likely be true for nearly anyone, not just someone who's been raised by a violent man and fears turning into one. Few people like being treated like bombs about to go off. His gaze grows colder.

"I know. They've been here for a few days."

He's seen the birds, he's heard them mimic people. He doesn't need to be told that, particularly from someone who apparently thinks he could explode into violence at any time.

e: z brings vegetarian fare | feb 24th

[isacrowd]

[The monsters' shrieking sends a chill up Z's spine as she approaches Adam's house. Luckily, the sound comes from far enough away that Z feels safe wandering around outside. She's ready to replicate and fight at a moment's notice, but she'd really rather not. Even though the veggies she's got in her bag right now are canned, she'd rather not drop them and get them dented. No telling how quickly things will rust down here, and nobody needs food poisoning on top of the absolute mess that is the situation the city is in.

She gives the front door three hard knocks, to make sure she's been heard, and thinks back to how she used to just barge in on Jack, both before SPD and when they'd joined the force. She misses her friends so much, but at least she has new friends now. Still, she's not as close with her friends here, so she stands outside and waits, listening hard to make sure none of those monsters is making their way over to her.]

Special delivery! [she calls after a while. Why not, right? She's not especially loud when she does it, but it should be enough to let Adam and whoever else is in the house at the moment know that she comes in good cheer today.]

[unknowable]

[It shouldn't be surprising that Adam has been mostly staying inside. He can't fight monsters, and really doesn't want to either. He'd rather just stay out of their way as much as possible and wait for all this to blow over. Luckily none of his friends have been affected - that makes it a lot easier to pretend it isn't his problem.

But he is fairly sure monsters don't knock, and when he hears Z's voice, he relaxes a bit. Definitely not something that will attack the moment he opens the door.

Which he does, not long after her knock. He manages a smile, though it's a bit tense, his eyes scanning the walkway behind her, just in case.]

Hey, come in. I wasn't expecting any visitors.

[isacrowd]

[Honestly, Z is a big fan of people staying inside if they can't fight. If you're just going to get hurt, you're doing the opposite of helping.

She heads inside quickly, so he can shut the door as soon as she's past him.] The coast is clear-- well, for now. Those things are scary.

[She's sure he's heard the screeching, so she won't bring it up.]

Anyway, I wanted to say hi, see a familiar face. Also, I promised to cook for you, so. [She lifts up her bag, the cans inside it clanking against each other.] Nothing fancy, but it'll be warm and savory.

[unknowable]

I haven't seen one, luckily.

[And that's how he would like it to stay. No monster-fighting, thanks, though if one of them somehow gets in he knows he'll have to figure something out. Hopefully that won't end up being necessary.]

Hey, I'm never going to turn that down. I've had enough of my own cooking.

[Adam does pause for a moment, looking at the bag and then at her. He's sure she knows, he's sure she would never do something like that even by accident, but still - he has to be sure.]

No meat though, right?

c

[quaerit]

[ True to form, Gansey is actually holding a book when he wanders into the kitchen. He stops short when he sees Adam already there, and takes a long, hard look at what he's doing. ]

Did you get that to run hot?

[ This is another lesson he needs to memorize, clearly. None of the appliances here seemed to work like he expected. Of course, it didn't help that he'd not used the vast majority of them before he came to this place anyway, but he'd thought himself reasonably expert when it came to sinks. Apparently not.

He invites himself in, and moves over to the countertop near to Adam. He's been hoping they'd get a chance to talk, privately. Now seems like as good a time as any. ]

Can I join you? I'll dry, if you like.

[ ...please tell him where the drying cloth is, he has no actual idea. ]

[unknowable]

[He looks up from his work when Gansey enters, setting a now clean and wet plate to one side.]

Yeah - there's a little switch under the faucet you have to hit. But if you hit it the wrong way it shuts the water off entirely.

[Why? Who the hell knows. Many days of trial and error have taught Adam one thing, mainly, and it's that whoever or whatever lived in these houses before them had to have been pretty astonishingly strange.

He's not going to turn down the help, even though the idea of Gansey doing chores is a little weird. Obviously he must - Monmouth wasn't that bad, and they didn't have a housekeeper. Unless they did, and she only came when Adam wasn't there, which is not an entirely impossible thing, all things considered. Unlikely, though.

But mainly Adam's thoughts are along the same lines as Gansey's. There's things they should probably talk about that will go more easily without Ronan and Noah around, even if Adam isn't sure he wants to talk at all.]

Sure, I could use the help. There should be a dishtowel in the second drawer over there.

[quaerit]

So, you're saying I should experiment in button-pushing. This can only go well.

[ Gansey says that with a smile, while he goes to the drawer Adam sent him to. He finds the towel and returns, lifting one of the plates.

This, in fairness, is not a thing he normally does. He washes what he uses, but he lets them dry by themselves. He has a minimal approach to housekeeping, which he's already gathered that Adam does not. That's not very surprising.

The short of it is, he's not doing this because he feels a strong need to put their dirty dishes away. He wants to catch up with Adam. ]

So, I was hoping we'd have a chance to talk. Away from the others, I mean. I thought you might be up for telling me more of what I'm missing, if it were just the two of us. It's a long time to miss.

[unknowable]

[He turns back to the sink. There aren't all that many dishes to wash, so they might as well get it all done while they're talking. He's not surprised at all - he would have been more surprised if Gansey hadn't been desperately curious about everything that he doesn't remember. He just doesn't really know where to start, doesn't know what should be told and what shouldn't.

It's not that he thinks they should keep secrets from Gansey. It's that some things just don't matter, others aren't really Adam's secrets to tell, and some - some it's just better to have forgotten. There are things Adam would rather forget, too.]

Yeah, of course. It must be weird, coming back to all of this, us acting like there are a million things you should know.

[It's not really fair to Gansey, is it? He didn't choose to leave and he didn't choose to get brought back. He didn't choose to forget anything. Adam washes a plate, hands it to him.]

Where do you want me to start? There's kind of a lot.

A - 16thish

[theresolve]

[As it turns out, Rainier was looking for Adam. He knew he could just send a missive to the young man, but Rainier has still been fond of stretching his legs after that whole... buried alive fiasco. He prefers to walk the length of the city before he resorts to a message. Fortune is on his side, Adam is in a shop he checks in and speaks aloud. Rainier's fairly certain the boy must have noticed him coming in, he's got good instincts.]

Close enough? Compared to what?

[unknowable]

[He looks over - he did notice someone coming it, but after seeing who it was, there was no reason to worry. The box in his hand goes in his backpack as he tries to figure out how to explain.]

It looks like a kind of food from my world, but it definitely isn't. It's just off enough to be weird.

[theresolve]

Seems to be the way of things here. Just close enough to make the things that are different seem so much more unsettling.

[It's always good to see a familiar face though, especially as more people keep showing up, and a few still seemingly vanish into the night.]

How are you and your friends holding up?

c | backdated to before wendigos

[greywaren]

[It's been awhile since they've really spoken. Since Adam's plan of scrying for Gansey had turned into a disaster and left things hanging awkwardly between them, Ronan hadn't really known much what to do. Luckily for them, Gansey had appeared again shortly afterward and his presence had somewhat eased the tension in the house, but it hadn't nearly resolved matters.

There's only so long they can drag this out for. Between Noah's knowing looks and Gansey's concerned ones, Ronan is well aware that one of them is going to break sooner or later, and he's relatively certain that it will be him- Adam, after all, has a way of giving the cold shoulder for as long as he deems it necessary. Ronan has difficulty committing to impassivity the way Adam can, and some part of him is distantly aware that if this boils over on Adam's end then there's little chance of it ending well for either of them.

The problem is, Ronan doesn't know how to engage Adam, not over something like this. Speaking frankly to him is out of the question- neither of them are adept at dealing with the direct truth when it comes to matters like this, despite Ronan's usual propensity for blunt honesty.

Predictably enough, the answer comes one afternoon in the form of a dream and the resulting object that comes out of it. When Ronan wakes, he's struck by his usual stillness before he's able to really look at the thing, his brows furrowed for a moment. He turns it over itself, tries to remember the dream that it came from, and moves to stand, setting it upright on the floor.

Ronan leaves it in his room when he goes looking for Adam and closes the door behind him. Adam is easy enough to find in the kitchen, and Ronan shoves his hands in his pockets before he makes his way over, shoulders dropped low and casual.]

Hey.

[He doesn't think he's made eye contact with Adam in weeks. Ronan tilts his head to look at him then, his expression unreadable.]

I want you to take a look at something.

[unknowable]

[It's the first time Ronan has actually looked him in the eye in weeks, the first time Ronan has really addressed him. Definitely the first time he's done it when they've been alone. They've been doing a pretty good job of avoiding each other, considering they live in the same house, but it's easier now that Gansey's here to serve as a buffer - and an excuse for not spending time with each other.

Which felt odd. After Ronan dug him up, they'd practically lived in each other's pockets, Ronan sleeping on Adam's floor, Adam not usually much more than a few feet away even when they were awake. For comfort, for safety, for a lot of things. But then Adam fucked up, and it was gone, and the longer it stretched on the more tense he became.

He was angry at first, and really some part of him still is, but the majority of the anger faded quickly, leaving in its wake a quiet confusion and growing worry. He knows that this is his fault, that he did something Ronan wasn't expecting, pushed him too far, didn't ask when he should have. He knows that he got carried away, and it's not the first time. But how do you apologize for that, and how do you apologize when they won't even look you in the eye, when they're Ronan Lynch and they're always angry and you already fucked up?

The anger faded and the worry grew, and at this point Adam only knows that he can't let this ruin their friendship. Whatever else happens, he can't do that, he can't lose Ronan when Ronan is one of the most important people to him. And he still wants to snap at Ronan and demand to know why, what it is about him that's not good enough, but he knows that would not be a productive way to start any conversation. So he's stayed quiet, because he doesn't know how to start this, even though he knows he should.

But at least now Ronan's talking to him. Making eye contact, even. And he needs Adam for something, so that's okay. They can go back to normal. Maybe Ronan just doesn't want to talk about it, maybe he wants to pretend it never happened.

Adam can do that, if that's what it takes. He's not going to lose Ronan.]

Sure.

[He turns the water off, dries his hands, lets the sink drain. He can go back to it later.]

Where?

[greywaren]

My room.

[Ronan nods his head back in that direction.]

C'mon.

[He waits for a moment for Adam to follow him, almost not sure if he will or not. But he'd already agreed to look at it, and as stubborn as they both can be, Ronan doesn't think that Adam will dig his heels in quite so soon. So he goes, hyperaware of Adam's movements behind him as he rests his hand on the doorknob for a moment.

Since waking recently, Ronan has moved on impulse and emotion, deciding that this would be the best course of action before really thinking anything through. The same thing happened when he'd tried to kiss Adam those weeks ago and had been startled into pulling back. It's too much action and emotion, too much lunging into matters without thinking things through, and as he slows to turn the knob, Ronan finds himself struck by a hesitation.

After he does this, there's no going back. He can't undo it, he can't make Adam forget about it. This is just him, this is proving something, this is showing something, and he'd be worried about pushing Adam further than he wants to, but Adam proved that he was no longer hesitant about this on the day that he'd tried to scry for Gansey. In a way, Adam had proved it before that, even- the sleeping near one another, the touches, the growing comfort in Ronan's presence. Ronan had been too cautious to see it then.

He's not even sure if he sees it now, or if it's just wishful thinking, but he forces the doubt from his mind and lives, pushing the door open and moving inside.

Ronan's room is in its usual haphazard state, with clothes strewn about the floor, intermingling with impossible things. There are three identical scrying bowls stacked in a corner, two of which suffer from deep cracks, there's something that looks suspiciously like a music box on the desk, half-buried by a carelessly thrown shirt. There's a dusty baseball glove trodden on in the corner, there's a handful of dirt strewn across the floor as if thrown. Chainsaw's cage is in the corner as usual, maybe in need of a little tidying up, but she's content within it for now.

Standing upright in the middle of the floor is the most impossible thing of all of them, and it's... difficult to describe what exactly it is. It looks like a sculpture made of wood and tightly-drawn wires stretching across the empty spaces, but after a moment or two of consideration, it becomes recognizable as an alien musical instrument.

It's the size of a cello, maybe a little smaller, but the neck of it is curved like the spine of a harp and branches off into elegant curls of wood, while the base is gently twisted and hollow, with strings crossing upward into the spirals near the top of it.

Something about it is foreboding. Something about it is the most beautiful thing that can be seen, and the beauty is compounded by the dozens of intricate carvings throughout the wood- subtle at first, almost unnoticeable until you're standing in the right light, but there, as gorgeous and terrible as the jet black lines of Ronan's tattoo. It's knotwork- if you look at it in another light, it's the grasping branches of a tree- in another light, it's masks and feathers and vines twisted together in an unsettling puzzle. If a master craftsman were given a decade, then they might be able to create something similar- but it's doubtful.

Ronan's mouth is suddenly dry as he makes his way over to it, reaching a hand out to stroke his finger along one of the strings in a practiced, casual movement.]

Do you know what this is?

[It's not a rhetorical question- it sounds more like Ronan believes that Adam might actually know the answer.]

b | i have no idea, let's go with the 13th

[fervence]

[adam wasn't the only one in hadriel missing a forest, to be honest.

oh, no, not lloyd, not really. if he was going to miss any forest it would be iselia's because it was home, and in that case, no other forest would really do. noishe, on the other hand? well noishe might not actually be a dog, but most days he acted enough like one that it didn't really matter.

just. a really big, green dog. standing at lloyd's side now and looking down at adam with him, both with equally curious and friendly expressions. though after a moment lloyd's own turns a shade regretful as well.]

Sorry, did we wake you up?

perfect!

[unknowable]

[Adam remembers Lloyd saying that he had a dog, but whatever that is, it isn't a dog. He eyes Noishe with some uncertainty, but - well, Lloyd has more or less earned Adam's trust by now, so if he wants to run around with some kind of green monster, Adam will trust that everything is fine.]

No, I wasn't sleeping.

[Which is mostly true. He'd probably have drifted off in the next couple minutes, but it's not smart to sleep outside here anyway.]

Is that your... dog?

[fervence]

[lloyd brightens at the question, because if adam hasn't figured this out about lloyd yet he loves to talk about the people he loves. and noishe might not technically be people, but he's close enough in lloyd's eyes.]

Yeah, this is Noishe! Isn't he great?

[he gestures between noishe and adam happily.] Noishe, this is Adam, say hi! [noishe agreeably makes a sound that's almost like a yip and wags his tail.]